Published: Sunday, Jan. 19 2014 12:00 a.m. MST
Had Ann Romney become FLOTUS her platform would have been, "Get Married
Before You Have Children"; such a significant and needed message for
today's youth and young adults.
How do you incentivize any man to be a good father?
Married 10 years and loving it. The kids look like they're going to do
pretty well. Wish every kid could grow up in that environment. I didn't
have that growing up and I'm slightly jealous of my own kids that their dad
(me) is around.
"Problems associated with the decline of the traditional family and
increases in the percentage of children born to single women have been well
documented on these pages "No kidding about twice a month. You
people are obsessed with this. It's almost like a tick you all have. The habits, actions, and behaviors of humans have always changed and
always will, and as they change they will destroy and have destroyed the old
behaviors and models. It's a pure myth that the family unit of
today was the family unit of just a few hundred years ago. People didn't
marry because of love. People didn't have children to fulfill the glory of
God or to construct a happy little group to sit around on the couch and laugh at
little sister (see above). And women weren't equal partners in marriage.
All that being said it doesn't mean all changes are equal or
good. But the whole woe is me the world is changing is really getting old, and
especially the only religion can fix this moral mess mantra.
Thank you for writing this profoundly true opinion. American youth would do
well to ponder what you have appropriately detailed herein. In his book The
Greatest Generation, Tom Brokaw wrote “A common lament of the World War II
generation is the absence today of personal responsibility". Members of
today's society would do well to strive to emulate the example of the
greatest generation if they hope to be great themselves.
If you want to make families work again you need to start with the fundamental
units of society - individuals. The components that make up a family. First,
empower women, instead of trying to subjugate them. It's the one thing that
can be done that works around the world. Second, empower sex. Our attitudes
towards it are puritanical and unhealthy. Also, make it possible for a middle
class to exist again. Raise the minimum wage, and create a single payer health
care system. Finally, recognise that a family is possibly going to be different
today than in the past. Children are no longer expected, and some families have
same sex parents. The good old days weren't necessarily good, and in any
case are gone.
When the "enlightened" modify the "rules" so their own appetites
and passions become acceptable, we have the calamity described by this
editorial. Teenagers did not write the sex-education textbooks. They did not
create the movies or TV shows that glorify promiscuity. They did not promote
the music or publish the magazines. Adults did those things. Adults targeted
the youth and exploited them. Adults enticed the youth to buy movie tickets, to
watch TV shows, to sit in "sex education" classes, to buy music and
magazines. Adults, who cared more for money than for the lives of our youth, did
all of those things.What is worse is that those movies, those TV
shows, that music and those magazines depict the lives lived by adults. Serial
sexual relationships, drugs, shirking responsibility are the habits and
attitudes of the adults who profit.Happiness is a gift from God that
comes from living the eternal laws that He lovingly gave us. He desires our
happiness. He told us how to be happy. Those who reject God and profit from
misery entice the youth to follow in their footsteps.
I respect the opinion of the Deseret News on this topic but believe that the
data that was evaluated to arrive at this opinion to be fundamentally flawed.
Wow. Not ALL single parents are promiscuous, lacking values, education, morals
and integrity. As shocking as this may come to those who cannot think or see
outside of the box... Single parents can indeed be excellent parents, moreso,
even than married parents. Single parents are hard working, devoted, committed,
loving, nurturing, and highly interested in their children's well-being,
health, development, and stability. They work twice as hard for their children.
Because they have to, and because they WANT to.
If we really value families, we would outlaw divorce. That is the major problem
with families nowadays.
Gibster, a boy who grows up in a home where the father is a good example, shows
love and respect to his wife (mother of the boy, in the best circumstances) and
the family works together to achieve worthy goals is most likely to grow up
desiring to be committed to similar principles. At one time, that wasn't
asking a lot of society, and when that changed it was to our detriment.A few years ago I did a compilation of stories about ancestors and their
connections in several communities of NE MO, primarily from the 1800s. In these
families there was a high incidence of deaths from illness and accidents, and
many of the children were left without one or even both parents. Many parents
lost small children. However, there were relatives who stepped in to help in all
the tough situations, and the survivors did well. My grandmother was a wonderful
example of caring and sacrificing; she and her siblings had nurturing from many
relatives when their mother died. I interviewed many relatives who had firsthand
experience with life there, and they confirmed that despite hardships they grew
up with positive influences and outcomes.
Although i think teenage sex is dangerous because of std's and the risk of
pregnancy. I also think instilling guilt and shame into your kids is dangerous
as well. I dated a girl in college who became sexually active in high school.
Her parents found out because her boyfriend came home a month after he left for
his mission. She became depressed and felt like a worthless human.
She told me that no worthy man would want her. All of this guilt and shame came
from her parents. I told her that she was a wonderful person and if a man would
judge her because she was not a virgin then he was not worthy of her.Shaming and guilting your kids about sex only works until it doesn't
@Hutterite:Are you sitting down? I want to say I totally agree with
you on something for a change (smile). I agree with you that in America we must
work to "make it possible for a middle class to exist again. Raise the
minimum wage, and create a single payer health care system". We need to
promote the interest of those who are struggling to make ends meet who in most
cases are honest, hard working people. As a healthcare professional I can tell
you that our healthcare system is way too expensive and our outcomes are worse
than other countries that spend half as much (as a % of GDP)as we do on
healthcare. Healthcare costs are breaking the financial backbone of families and
the American economy. A single payer system likely would help that mess!@BIG C: You speak the truth. I personally know several single
moms that are some of our best employees where I work and they are smart,
dedicated and caring mothers. I admire them so much. I have also heard them say
they would like to re-marry and enjoy a successful marriage in the future if
Too much traditional family profiling.Drifting away from the
traditional family, is wrong.It's what makes a prosperous
Big C,The article discussed trends, not everyone's reality.
Many single parents are fantastic, moral, hardworking people who love their
kids. The article was saying that a two parent family with a mom and dad
present is statistically the best condition for raising stable kids. They were
not saying it was impossible in a one parent home, just much more difficult. I would consider myself a good parent, moral, hardworking, envested in
the well-being of my children but I have to state I would not want to parent
alone. My husband's perspective is invaluable to the raising of our kids.
He sees things I miss, I see what he misses and our children are better off for
@Kings Court: "If we really value families, we would outlaw divorce. That is
the major problem with families nowadays."I disagree with both
sentences.1st I would re-phrase the first to: If we really value families
we would have those that wish to be wed figuratively have to walk through fire
to get married. People that have to actually work to attain the goal of marriage
are more likely to stay in it for the long haul and lead to less divorce
IMVHO.2nd IMVHO there are other problems that are far worse for
families than divorce. One of them is invalidating family units as meaningful or
wholesome because they don't fit the image that some have of a
If we truly value families headed by two adult parents, we need to change our
actions. We need to stop trying to create laws that forbid two loving adults
from establishing a family. We need to encourage women to get complete college
degrees or more advanced career training even though they may take considerable
time off to raise children. We need to teach men to get as much education as
possible to financially support their families. The biggest step in improving
the declining family is through better education.
No that photo doesn't look staged at all.....
A "thorough education in how to have sex responsibly" includes the
advice to wait to have sex.Studies - and reality - have shown that
abstinence only education results in higher out of wedlock pregnancy rates,
thereby perpetuating the cycle so bemoaned at the beginning of this article.I find it interesting that the article takes one reasonable approach to
teaching children about responsible reproduction and tears it apart because
parents are apparently unable to handle that part of educating their children.
The authors of the article apparently also feel it is not appropriate for
schools to teach this delicate subject.No - they want this taught at
church.If we, as a society, truly value families and promote
children being born into families, than we must encourage ALL parents, not just
the "gold standard" ones, to get married. We must stress that pregnancy
should occur after marriage and proper steps should be taken to prevent
pregnancy before marriage - including the use of birth control for those who are
going to indulge.We have fantastic messages not to drink but if you
do drink don't drive, we should handle sex the same way.
James Q Wilson, in a report buried somewhere in the federal bureaucracy, on
purpose for sure, said that there were three things to do to avoid poverty your
whole life: Finish high school, marry before having a child, and don't get
married before the age of 20. after reading the absolutely confusing and
disoriented rhetoric by some on this page, kids need something specific. The
above advice ( here) is only possible if it is couple with God behind it!
without God, what is left is a person's personal approach, which, to a kid
boiling with harmones and a culture, abetted by some on this bead, that views
sex as some sort of adventure with no consequences, is certainly not going to be
persuaded by a few boring bystanders without principles telling them that there
is no such thing as a standard, conscience, or responsible citizenship.
DeseretNews.com encourages a civil dialogue among its readers. We welcome your thoughtful comments.— About comments