Comments about ‘Longtime friend says Syracuse mother in murder-suicide battled depression’

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Published: Thursday, Jan. 16 2014 10:05 p.m. MST

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Coolio
SLC, UT

It's hard to sympathize with someone who shoots and kills two innocent children. The article tries to evoke sympathy, but it's not happening with me. I feel about as much sympathy as I did for the Sandy Hook shooter. Which is none. What's the difference?

Howard Beal
Provo, UT

Sad story...

We need to do more to help the mentally ill. We need to do more to protect children. We need to do more to keep guns out of the hands of those who are mentally ill.

rvalens2
Burley, ID

"Why didn't you call up your family and talk to them? What was going on, honey, that you thought you had to do this alone?" - Pegi Butler

Regrettably, Kyler may not have felt she had anyone in her family that she could turn to for help or counsel. We all need someone who will listen to us when we are down and who can be a shoulder to cry on. It's just unfortunate that in Kyler's time of need, she didn't pick up the phone and call Pegi to talk about things. One conversation, could have changed the outcome.

Sadly, we are all so preoccupied with our own lives that at times we don't notice those around us who are hurting. Lift your head up once in awhile folks and see if there isn't someone close by that needs a little help; whether they are family or not.

One kind word or act can make all the difference.

Lilalips
Attleboro, MA

I understand the whole depression/suicide thing. But how do you take your children? My heart goes out to the extended family of the children especially the father of the children who has lost his children for the rest of his life. Suicide is such a permanent solution to temporary problems. Depression has so many faucets to it. I lost a step brother at age 16 to suicide. It was hard to see on the outside. There were internal and external factors. There was a family history of mental instability and familial abuse both verbally and physically. Part of the solution is talking about it and trying to show a love that can reach through to people who are enveloped in darkness.

RobertC
SLC, Utah

I liked the article but the accompanying "fashion Photo shoot" pics are disturbingly Incongruent.

I know it. I Live it. I Love it.
Provo, UT

Children aside, I once heard someone say that suicide is one of the most selfish things anyone could ever do; although I've never quite been sure about the expression. Suicide tends to have varied & disguised motives. And if they all boiled down to one common denominator, I'm not sure selfishness adequately describes each case.

I used to feel I could never accomplish anything. It wasn't until I stopped focusing on that thought and focused on the hope that I could. That hope strengthened into belief, then faith. I now know how to exercise that faith into action.

Consider someone having an overwhelming sense of depression, fear, or other things they feel they cannot escape. Feeling there is no alternative, no possible way out... this surely doesn't help.

Perhaps it would help people not focus on feelings of problems being inescapable and refocus on the fact that help and hope exist- that the two are waiting for us to reach out and grab them (then build that belief from there). I'm not saying that solves this for everyone, but I wonder if it would help others as it helped me in a different scenario.

ImABeliever
Provo, UT

As a former 1st Counselor in a Young Men's Presidency and Young Men's President at the
Utah State Hospital; I seen mentally ill young men (ages 12-18)first hand. The majority of the
Young Men were wards of the State of Utah and most of the time mental illness is a result of abuse; sexual, physical, verbal, drug and alcohol.
I would be real careful to judge. As I always say,"While you were busy judging others,
you left your closet door open and your skeletons fell out."

Cinci Man
FT MITCHELL, KY

I am happy to leave judgement to God. This is so tragic. It would be wonderful if we could look into the minds of the mentally ill. Perhaps many more lives can be saved if we could. But I have to remember that this life is only part of living. The children are not dead. Their mother is not dead. They have been tragically taken from this mortal existence. And I'm confident that in an eternal perspective, this premature transfer from this life to the next will receive the love, mercy, and justice that only God can grant. Our understanding will come later. None of us justify what she did. But we can always remember the good in her and rest assured that God will heal her troubled soul. May God grant peace to those who remain behind in this difficult mortality. Thanks to all who are friends of those who struggle to find peace in their lives.

ca2000
West Wendover, NV

@rvalens2: "Sadly, we are all so preoccupied with our own lives that at times we don't notice those around us who are hurting. Lift your head up once in awhile folks and see if there isn't someone close by that needs a little help; whether they are family or not.
One kind word or act can make all the difference."

This is so so true. I have a good friend at work I can confide in (both of us male), and we often talk about challenges in life. We talked about finances and retirement the other day, and he mentioned something to his wife about it. Her response: why do you do that? Why do you get involved. AND WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE?
This last comment really hurt. I don't even think he realized how hard that hit me, and I will probably never say anything.

I feel so sorry for this Syracuse mother and her daughters; one kind word or act could have made all the difference.

LDS Liberal
Farmington, UT

It might have be an adverse reaction to meds....

The FDA requires black-label warning label on Anti-Depressants that they may increase the risk of violence and suicidal behaviors...

R.I.P.

Esquire
Springville, UT

Cinci Man said it perfectly. Thank you.

Christmas Carole
LAS CRUCES, NM

@LDS Liberal
Have you ever been in a deep black hole and COMPLETELY unable to create or see a way up and out? Have you ever served, and thought of others frequently and still cry often seemingly without control? Have you ever felt you were in a room without windows or doors and NO way to get out of that room?

I'm not saying meds are the ONLY answer, BUT I AM saying that: Yes, on occasion there MIGHT be a chance of the statement posted, BUT in the final analysis meds CAN and DO, properly prescribed and taken, HELP enormously. A kind, loving, Heavenly Father blessed us with the knowledge and we are given the opportunity and blessings of doing all we can to help ourselves.

I have found that there is a stigma and negative attitude prevalent in Utah concerning antidepressants that can SADLY influence someone who may really need them to not get them...

LDS Liberal
Farmington, UT

Christmas Carole

LAS CRUCES, NM

@LDS Liberal
Have you ever been in a deep black hole and COMPLETELY unable to create or see a way up and out?

==========

Um yes,
and I've been hospitalized twice for nearly doing this same thing --

Final Answer -- it was not me at all, but an adverse reaction to the meds.

BTW --
I've also attended 4 funerals that ended in this same tragic way.
Common denominator -- meds.

Hence that label.

Hunam
Layton, UT

It's easy to point the finger and wonder who dropped the ball, but honestly, I know of few people equipped to deal constructively with mental illness issues. It is a HUGE drain on the personal resources of friends and family. There's the constant consoling. Both Sympathy and empathy often fall upon a dead mind, and no matter how much time you spend, or money, or attention you give, it's never enough. The smallest thing can set off a caustic personality, and honestly no one knows what can or ought to be done. You try to respect their wishes, give them space, or reach out and intervene, and it is soul-wrenchingly difficult.

Further there are the pretenders out there who claim depression, or to be bipolar, or to have some other mental disability that simply don't have one, clogging the lines with their narcissistic need to be the center of attention or cast as a victim to manipulate others.

This is a real tragedy, and those poor kids are probably not the only victims of this untreated mental disorder.

Anonyme
Orem, UT

LDS Liberal, that black box warning also states that there is no evidence of an increased risk of suicide for adults older than 24 years of age. This is not the place for your speculations about the safety of antidepressants.

jarka-rus
Layton, Utah

Never can understand why people who commit suicide have to take someone with them, just can't understand it. So tragic and sad for these two beautiful innocent girls who's lives were cut short. God is the ultimate judge.

marxist
Salt Lake City, UT

We have to be ready to intervene when we suspect something is wrong. I missed such a chance, a close friend killed himself. I will always regret not going to talk with him.

LDS Liberal
Farmington, UT

@Anonyme
Orem, UT

Care to give a good solid explanation for the increase of these sad situations then?

"No one" seems to be able to explain it,
but we have the pattern,
the warning is obvious,
it only effects 3% of the general population,
and pharmaceutical companies settle out of court for it all the time for it.

If you are LDS,
try reading the beginning of D&C 89 {Word of Wisdom]

4. Behold, verily, thus saith the Lord unto you: In consequence of evils and designs which do and will exist in the hearts of conspiring men in the last days, I have warned you, and forewarn you, by giving unto you this word of wisdom by revelation—

It's kept secret,
and there is a $Trillion at sake.

But go ahead and keep thinking it's about Coke-a-Cola and chewing tobacco all you wish.
I know differently.

washcomom
Beaverton, OR

Depression does not have an easy fix. Medication, exercise, diet, environment, community, family, history all have something that can connect with it, but it takes so much effort to circumvent those feelings. It gets to be so tiring trying to fight all the time.
It's just sad that two little girls were taken at the same time. Now they are angels in heaven.

Dan Bishop
Lehi, UT

I have felt this adverse reaction to Prosac. It is no laughing matter. These drugs can kill you. if you are taking them and you start feeling suicidal, stop immediately and call the doctor of go to the emergency room. You think it can not happen to you, but it can.

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