Comments about ‘Parents should take a more hands-on approach to marriage prep for children, says The Federalist writer’

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Published: Thursday, Jan. 16 2014 1:35 p.m. MST

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Maudine
SLC, UT

Just as you teach your children the importance of an education by word and deed, so to do you teach them the value of marriage and how to find and be a good spouse.

Do you treat your spouse with respect? Are you a good spouse? Do you whine about not buying your wife a gift for Mother's Day because she is not your mother? Do you ask politely when you want your husband to take out the trash? Do you nag over the undone things on the honey do list? Do you demean your spouse because he or she has gained a few extra pounds since you married them? Do you state that marriage is only about reproduction? Do you devalue its significance by stating that everything you get through marriage is available through other means? Do you make negative comments about being married or state that you were better off single? Do you state that you regret marrying the person you married?

You can promote marriage until you are blue in the face, but if you don't live as if it is wonderful, kids won't want it.

charlyk
salt lake city, UT

Maudine--I absolutely agree!!! I am single, for many reasons likely, but honestly, there are perhaps 2 marriages I have ever come across which I feel are actually worth something more than the paper they signed. I have no desire to have a relationship like that, I'd rather remain single. If marriage doesn't look like it's something more than fighting and bickering and anger and hurt, young people will continue to not want to be a part of it. I know that those things are part of marriage, but they shouldn't be all of marriage.

Brave Sir Robin
San Diego, CA

That sounds like a great idea. Let's have my dad - thrice divorced - prepare me for marriage.

(FYI, my marriage has lasted longer than any of his three).

The baby boomer generation and their selfish me-first attitude has no leg to stand on when it comes to giving advice on marriage.

Hutterite
American Fork, UT

I'm a big supporter of marriage but I see so few people, including those who venture into it, who should. They're selfish and uncommitted to much other than themselves, or they're looking for a quick fix or happily ever after. People should live by themselves, and get to know who they are, before they marry. Plus, these days it's taken for granted. Except for the same sex couples, of course. From their pictures, they all appear to appreciate it more. I suspect most of them will make it work.

gmlewis
Houston, TX

My wife and I have two sayings that help guide our marriage:

1) We forgive each other for everything we've ever done, and everything we're going to do.

2) Husbands should enter marriage with hopes that their wives will help change them for the better. Wives should hope that their husbands will help change them for the better. Marriage must be a transforming experience, or it is a waste of divine potential.

Brave Sir Robin
San Diego, CA

@Hutterite

I don't have any issue with gay marriage, but I do need to correct you on one point. There's not enough long-term data on gay divorce in the U.S. (it is too new), but look at Sweden where gay marriage has been legal the longest. Gay male divorce is 50% higher than heterosexual divorce and gay female divorce is 67% higher than heterosexual divorce on a per capita basis.

So while gay couples may appreciate marriage more due to the newness of it, they are actually worse at making it work over the long haul.

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