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Comments about ‘Unwed father alleges racketeering in adoption lawsuit’

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Published: Monday, Dec. 30 2013 6:53 p.m. MST

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K
Mchenry, IL

I am an adoptive parent.

When you want to raise someone else's child you need to ask them. Both of them. All of them. Unmarried father's aren't deadbeats. They are lied to and deceived because couples want to grow their families and there is a shortage of infants. Because agencies want to make money. Wouldn't these adoptive parents and agencies want their sons treated in such a way? Utah has a terrible track record.

The adoptive couple ought to have not only written proof but DNA that they are getting consent from the proper party. They go through great lengths to meet and be matched with mom. They want to pretend dad doesn't exist because it's harder to convince two people to let you raise their child. This isn't honorable.

AZKID
Mapleton, UT

I'm sorry, but I have very little sympathy for non-married birth fathers. If you are irresponsible enough to father a child with anyone other than a woman you are married to prior to conception, then you automatically relinquish every right pertaining to fatherhood.

Furthermore, if it can be proved that you are the father, then we should establish a new form of civil punishment that requires you to work in servitude to pay for that child's health and well being as well as that of the mother, unless the child is placed for adoption.

Draconian, yes, but the social cost of absentee fathers is the key element in the downward spiral of our culture and our civilization. There are reasons that marriage has historically preceded childbearing.

If I were in the legislature, I would put forth legislation to codify all of the above.

K
Mchenry, IL

A man files a paternity claim a day after he is told the baby has been placed with a couple and the courts don't stop the adoption and give the father custody immediately after the test confirm he is the dad?

Why 24 hours? Why does it have to be so immediate? In my opinion a father and mother need appear in court with medical proof they are the bio parents saying clearly with council for them present they consent to the adoptive couple adopting the child.

Laura Ann
Layton, UT

AZKID, I think you hit the nail right on the head. This man knew about the pregnancy and didn't follow procedure. I also believe that this child is better off in this adoption. I'm adopted, so I do have some perspective on this matter.

On the other hand
Riverdale, MD

You shouldn't have to lose your child forever due to a technicality.

It doesn't take much Googling to find a number of horror stories about unwed fathers who, notwithstanding their good-faith efforts, were deprived of their paternal rights in Utah as their babies were given away for adoption without their consent. Utah is widely considered the worst state in the nation when it comes to the rights of unmarried fathers.

Fathers who care enough to ask to raise the children they father should at least be given a chance to demonstrate that they are capable of doing so. Utah law should be changed to make this a realistic possibility. The law should also be changed so that in cases where birth mothers deceive biological fathers, the fathers have a fighting chance to gain custody.

RichardB
Murray, UT

A father should have the same rights as the mother, and the laws need to be changed to reflect that. Utah is horribile protecting men in adoption. Until this story, how many knew that fathers had to register? That is nothing more than a back door used to increase the supply of children up for adoption.

AZKID, only the father is irresponsible, and the mother who had a child outside her marriage isn't?

From Ted's Head
Orem, UT

Thank goodness AZKID is not in the legislature!

While you must be perfect, most others are not and rules of fairness must be established that take into account current social norms, regardless of how repugnant you find those norms. (As if the number of absent birth fathers comes anywhere close to the number of single moms raising kids as a result of divorce.)

The lawsuit and article shed light on a weakness in the current system that favors mothers' rights over fathers' rights. Registering as a putative father still has its risks, assuming one even knows the woman got pregnant in the first place. Particularly disheartening are the cases where the mother LIES about her real intent and the father trusts her to his own disadvantage. And, said LIARS are abetted by adoption agencies and attorneys who all get paid for their participation in the "scam."

Let's make it really interesting and require DNA tests on ALL births so true parentage can be determined. Pity the fool who got cuckolded and doesn't know it.

Or how about requiring a DNA test on all potential abortions so the father can be notified and give his approval, too?

procuradorfiscal
Tooele, UT

Re: "Unmarried father's [sic] aren't deadbeats."

Unmarried fathers are deadbeats. Otherwise, they'd be married fathers.

This lawsuit has a single object, for both attorney and client. And it has nothing to do with the welfare of children or unmarried, putative fathers.

Rather, it has to do with unjustly enriching attorney and client, regardless of who is hurt along the way.

Talk about a RICO violation.

Ricardo Carvalho
Provo, UT

AZKID - What would happen if we applied your logic to the mother?

I'm sorry, but I have very little sympathy for non-married birth mothers. If you are irresponsible enough to mother a child with anyone other than the man you are married to prior to conception, then you automatically relinquish every right pertaining to motherhood.

Ok, now who makes the decision regarding the baby? My guess is that the mother knew just as well as the father that she was not sleeping with her husband.

LAL
South Jordan, UT

"It's a tragic story and she feels that she lost her grandchild and my heart goes out to her, but the protections there in the law were there and they weren't followed," Weiler said, emphasizing the ease of registering for paternity in the state.

"His rights would have been protected if he would have just followed the advice of his own attorney," Weiler said. "… It appears to me that they're trying to blame everyone except for the responsible party."

Enough said.

Ricardo Carvalho
Provo, UT

Does anyone with a legal background understand the similarities and differences between paternal rights in the case of abortion versus adoption nationwide? It seems to me that the mother has extensive rights regarding the choice to keep or abort the child/fetus but I am less clear as to whether those same rights adhere when speaking of adoption issues both here in Utah and in other states. Any legal experts out there?

RBB
Sandy, UT

It is interrsting that the father is a deadbeat, bit the woman who committed adultry and lied to him are not? This is really disgraceful. You have a bio parent who wants to raise their child, but it excluded from doing so for not filling out some form he probably did not know existed. If the mother decides to keep the child, he can (and should) be liable for 18 yrars of support, but he has absolutely no say if the child is aborted and can be tricked into losing custody. Utah should be proud at a system which robs men of due process.

AllBlack
San Diego, CA

AZKID

"... I have very little sympathy for non-married birth fathers. If you are irresponsible enough to father a child with anyone other than a woman you are married to prior to conception, then you automatically relinquish every right pertaining to fatherhood"

Why is it any different for the mother? If she was irresponsible and fell pregnant out of wedlock then either she also should relinquish all rights of motherhood too or both need to sign away that parenthood. Both were involved in the creating of that new child.

But if either are willing and able to care for the child then surely the natural parents should be the first option even if single. If they can't then sure, adoption would be the next option for the babies well being. Or, if possible, they could be talked to and shown the benefits of adoption for the baby then both should voluntarily hand the baby over to adoption services, sure not?

Ranch
Here, UT

"Family friendly". Utah certainly isn't.

Say No to BO
Mapleton, UT

This lesson is getting more expensive all the time. But I doubt any other young men will learn from it. When you think with your zipper things like this happen.
This young man has a long way to go to prove that he would be the best parent for this child, even if he were filthy rich as a result of this lawsuit.

Cats
Somewhere in Time, UT

I personally don't think any father who is not married to the mother should have any rights whatsoever. If he wants rights he needs to be married to the mother. Has an unmarried mother been irresponsible? Absolutely! But, her life is much more affected by it and, if she is placing the child for adoption, she is doing the responsible thing and what is best for the child. It is much better for ANY child to be raised in a two-parent, intact home.

The sexually permissive society we live in has created these sad situations. I hope this guy learns a lesson to be more responsible in the future. You get to choose your behavior, but you don't get to choose your consequences. When we do things that are wrong, there are always consequences.

Ethel
Home Town USA, UT

Many are missing the point. What about the child? This mother chose to give her child a better life. The lack of interest on the birth father's part was a little too late and ignored the advice of his attorney. Had he done that in a timely manner before the birth knowing the mother's intent was to place the child he would not be filing this lawsuit.

Not much will come of it, since he didn't follow protocol as designed by the law on the books. That is why it is there, to protect the rights of the birth mother and give her the choice to relinquish the baby. The agency ALWAYS checks with the court before anything is sign away. When there is NO filing by the putative father, it is a GO.

Ignorance is no excuse for him to make a legal attempt to reclaim something he did not do on time or after the fact.

No amount of money is going to change the law.

DN Subscriber 2
SLC, UT

FATHERS have rights, because the are married to the mother, and help raise the child, and most certainly provide financial support for the child.

Sperm donors should have NO rights. Only the responsibility to pay for the upbringing of the child they helped conceive, but are not raising.

To turn an out of wedlock conception into a money making deal for a sperm donor is hutzpah at its most despicable level.

Duckhunter
SLC, UT

Why does the father hve to "register" or sign anything? if he wants the child, and the mother does not, then he should have the child and she should be liable for support just as he would have been if she'd kept the child. I hope this guy wins this suit, and I'm generally opposed to such things, but it is time men are given equal standing under the law. Period.

KinCO
Fort Collins, CO

A child is not a commodity. The mother has an intense 9-month-long experience producing this child and will have at least a several month recovery time (and that's only the physical effects). The father spent a few minutes donating sperm, has not bothered to follow his attorney's advise (he sought out an attorney before the birth and then ignored the advise he received? Interesting), and now says he wants to raise the child. He has contributed DNA, nothing more. He has made no investment, physical or otherwise, in the child's well-being, and he is trying to make piles of money from the situation. Hard to find much sympathy for the guy.

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