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Comments about ‘Ask Angela: I don't know how to tell my parents that I got baptized’

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Published: Monday, Dec. 16 2013 8:00 a.m. MST

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rlsintx
Plano, TX

Alma 5:14. "And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?"

Just tell them you followed your heart, that you love them and then live to make the above manifest to them you did well for yourself. It will all work out, did for my parents. ;)

GTOBoomer
USA, UT

Sometimes things don't go well. If that happens, I have to tell you that in every case I've ever witnessed (including my own), angry, hurt family members have softened considerably and even joined the Church themselves after observing the wonderful effects of the gospel on a convert over months or years. Pray first, have faith, be patient, and be an example of the believers always.

desert
Potsdam, 00

Most possible outcomes have been mentioned and the advice to rely on inner feelings might be a good one, however... !

Having gone through a lot of terrible problems in my family due to baptism, I want to remind you of this possiblilty :

The fact that you were not willing to talk about it with them, could be an inner forsight,
that it would just make it worse. And in my case it made it civil war among my relatives.

So what I could tell you from my experience is, never try to convince them that your decision was the right thing to do, it will make it worse.
If that new information would break their heart or activate an arms race then you have no choice but go by the shugar piece by piece a way.

Mention superficial comments that will lead to more information, or such a way that they will figure out by themselves what road your are taken. They need a lot of time to adjust and get their feelings calmed down. Over the years grass will grow, and you don't want them to have a heart attack, do you ?

DrGroovey
Salt Lake City, UT

The fact that you are unsure about it may be the most telling thing. I would recommend that you not tell them until the Lord tells you to. Once you know it is what he wants you to do then your dilemma is solved.

GeoMan
SALEM, OR

JoeBlow,
Not quite the same. For many, many Christian people, the particular congregation they choose to associate with is analogous to choosing one of the the many flavors at the ice cream parlor. There are a handful of favorites (or just one), some to try once in a while, a few that one has tried and didn't like, and some that never have sounded appealing. It is very possible, and I would say likely, that the writer's parents are in this group and that she/he is worried that "Mormons" are in one of those last two categories for his/her parents (and most likely the last).
Most often it is prejudice or bigotry against "Mormons" that causes others to object to a family member's conversion. If they had joined the Methodists (for example) the reaction would be very different. True, in some cases, there are people that have deeply held denominational beliefs and no ill feelings toward "Mormons" as compared to other Christian sects. Those situations would be equivalent, as you stated. These are much less common than those that object, not because of any change, but because of what the specific change was.

antodav
TAMPA, FL

I avoided this by telling my parents BEFORE I got baptized (although they kind of knew it was coming), but it was still a blow to my mother at first, who had tried to raise me Catholic even though she didn't go to church very often herself. As it turns out, many of her beliefs are more Mormon than Catholic anyway, and she has since started gaining her own testimony. My wife however was raised in an extremely hostile Baptist family and thus had a totally different experience from my own. Catholics cling strongly to tradition, but they are generally far less likely to become violent or disown a family member who converts than Protestants.

Praying and ask the Holy Ghost for guidance. Above all, do NOT let them shame you into believing you "betrayed" them or made the wrong decision. Remember Jesus said that he who put his mother or father before him is not worthy of him. When family joins the Great and Spacious Building, it is hard, but through your example, you may be able to soften their hearts.

defibman
Syracuse, UT

However you decide to tell them, I think that the most important thing is what follows. It may take a few weeks, months or many years, but how you live your life "After" you tell them will play the biggest part! My wife joined the Church when she was 18 and broke her Mother's heart (being a member of a well known very Anti-Mormon Church). She even told her, "How could you, they don't even believe in Christ?" Well, that was 38 years ago and although my wife's family are still not interested in the Church, they do have alot more respect for it and let what their preacher says about us go in one ear and out the other. The respect they have for us and our children and how we have lived our lives is what matters. They know we are not hipocrites.

Good Luck and I hope everything turns out well.

G L W8
SPRINGVILLE, UT

One thing that I don't see mentioned in previous comments is just as much for you as for your parents: keep the eternal perspective in mind. This life is full of challenges, trials, joys, disappointments. But a central purpose is for us to work towards ours and our family's eternal destiny. That will take time, even time beyond this mortal life for some. That's where hope in Christ comes into the picture. Whatever you do with yourself, your future life, and your family relationships, never, never, never give up; and wait upon the Lord. He will sustain you through it all.

Mike Richards
South Jordan, Utah

Some parents want what God wants for their children. Other parents want what they want for their children. God leads those who will follow, but he doesn't force anyone to become a member of His church. If the parents really want what's best for a child, they will be pleased that the child listened to the Lord and then acted on what the Lord revealed to the child. If the parent is offended that the child followed the promptings of the Holy Ghost, then that parent's understanding of God's relationship with HIS child is less than perfect.

Of course, the child should be respectful of the parents, but the child's first allegiance is to his Heavenly Father.

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