Published: Thursday, Dec. 5 2013 9:30 a.m. MST
I am 57 years old and have been caregiving for almost 7 years. I have taken
care of my mother (Alzheimer's) Mother-in-law and do tons of babysitting
for my daughter. I do it because I want to help, but it makes a difficult
situation for finances. It helps to have someone in the family not working
because those that work can't take off for all the doctors appointments.
Then there is the laundry, preparing food, cleaning the house, talking to them
etc. I have many health issues that I overlook because I don't have time to
check them out. I'm not complaining, just laying out for people to
understand the exhaustion that comes with full time (unpaid) caregiving.
Caregiving to anyone of any age, but especially dementia patient or elderly
person is the hardest job in the world! It is way harder than raising my kids.
My prayers go out to all those doing this full time.
(ran out of words, but want to finish) I have told my kids not to do this for
me, It affects your family and your relationship with them. I had to put my
adult kids and their children on hold and not do some things with them because
of caregiving. I told them put me in a facility and come visit once in a while!
To those full time caregivers of Dementia/Alzheimers patients, my prayer are
with you. Know that they may not be nice to you or may say some really horrible
things to you, but when they get on the other side, they will realize the love
and care you were giving them and will greatly appreciate your sacrifices.
It varies among families and situations, but despite the inconvenience and
expense of caring for ailing parents, my greatest regret is that I didn't
What a responsibility to be responsible for. And then to think about your own
finances and to think women live longer then men. I hope your husband has a
million dollars for you, because SSI isn't going to help much.
I love the expression: "Double-decker club sandwich" indeed! I am at that point right now, and it is exhausting. And it's only going
to get worse. Then, to add to it, I feel so guilty for resenting any of them at
some point or other. I want to quit my job to have more time to take
care of my elderly parents and to help my kids with my precious grandchildren,
as they are going through some really rough spots right now...but if I do, I
can't afford to take care of all of us. It's a dilemma alright. I does help to read articles like this, even if just to know that
I'm not alone.
I can see in the future, a return a "Waltons" style multi-generational
household. Where the family home is passed down from generation to generation,
and everyone shares the expenses. I'm 67 and still working, although part
time. I'd very much desire to stay in my own home until the day I die.
And if it means sharing it and turning it over to a son or daughters family so
be it. The concept of free rent and ultimate ownership would have some appeal
to a young family.
The prosopects if usig a reverse mortgage is good for some. But do not get into
it too early. I would say work past 75 if you have to, enjoy some time on your
savings and retiremehnt funds, get your home paid for, and them at say eighy or
more years old, consider using a revewrse mortagage if you are still
functionjing and in good health. Take care of yourself as well. Eat the right
foods to alkalyze your body. It will give you better retirement years for
sure.With the overspending by the politicians going on forever,
times are not going to get easier. Obamacare will apply "coup de grace"
to what is left of the good life.
"I can see in the future, a return a "Waltons" style
multi-generational household." This is a good idea, in many respects the
ideal commune. The problem is how to get from where we are now to that goal.
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