antodavHmmmm... You are telling two grown adults that they
shouldn't be going over to each others apartment until they are married???
Are you kidding me with that comment?
Those pictures are from a different time for your boyfriend. Just as pictures
of you are from a different time. If they bother you, try a novel approach and
ask him about the pictures. If your relationship isn't strong enough to
stand the truth, maybe it either needs work or it wasn't meant to be.
I've been around the block enough times to realize that life is to be lived
and requires the ability to change and to let others change. It is essential
that memories be allowed to fade and be replaced with new experiences and
memories... The problem with Facebook is that your past drags on with you...
It never dies or fades away regardless of how much you think those pictures and
posts may have been deleted. When two people get married, they are to forsake
all others, but that can be pretty hard to do when vivid images and memories of
all the others are floating around in cyberspace. You are writing this as a
person worried about your boyfriend... I have worked closely with people where
this has been the wedge that ultimately tore their marriages apart. I am a
parent of five kids and I have seen the impact of these things in their lives.
Be careful what you post and let the past fade away.
This is why they say that Facebook destroys relationships. Also, she probably
shouldn't be going over to his apartment or vice versa to spend time
together alone every night before they are married. I suspect there is more
going on here in this story that explains why he feels so much more
"comfortable" in the relationship that he has now, even though his
happiness seems to have visibly faded. Sin tends to have precisely that effect
on a person.
Any "Facebook stalking" or obsessing over the past girlfriend can only
make "Home girl" feel insecure and appear needy. Boyfriend won't
want to waste their "together time" reassuring a her that he's
satisfied with her and with their relationship. That feels burdensome, and
detracts from the pleasant, fulfilling feelings that nourish their growing,
mutual bond.One-on-one time "staying in" can help further
conversation and the exchange of personal feelings. However, too much silent
snuggling on the couch before the glowing television, especially alone in a dark
apartment, can lead to regretful behavior.Singles who retain past
relationship stuff on their Facebook pages raise questions about their personal
insecurities and readiness to move on. That's as apt to repel as to attract
new, emotionally healthy companions. It's flaky and immature to embellish
or focus on prior relationships, thinking it enhances one's personal
appeal. Clinging to dead relationships to keep a new companion off balance is
manipulative. If boyfriend is smart and considerate, he'll eventually
update his Facebook page without prompting. Until the relationship matures, Home
girl will only diminish herself by insisting that boyfriend do so in
consideration of her feelings.
Maybe your boyfriend is taking a break from dating some one who is so active.
It is hard to know what goes on in others heads. Angela is correct, you will
make yourself miserable second guessing. Even worse, your date is likely to run
fast and far if you start dwelling on his Facebook photos. Have you ever asked
him what sort of things he likes to do? Is your relationship one-sided? Do you
always do what you are most comfortable doing? Enjoy the relationship while you
have it but be willing to let go and move on if it doesn't work out. It is
not a bad thing to date people with different kinds of personalities until you
find the best fit.
I think you can lie only so long before you can't lie any more. and you
have to me honest with your self. Who are you, is the question that we all will
answer to our self. who I'm not is a lier.