I hope he can't read this, cause it really is going to embarrass him. BTW,
Dad, don't pressure him to much about your 3 because a lot of young people,
even returned missionaries resist parents desires for them in the female
variety. (Besides he's pretty cute, he won't have much trouble)But it is a hard time. Kudos for wanting him to have a smooth transition. It
isn't easy! Good Luck!
I hope this is a Joke? because reading this article it sure smacks of living
vicariously though your son. Like having him do the things you wish you did when
you were his age. I too have a son coming home in a few weeks. I been there came
home and did my own thing. My son has been on his own for two years he is a Man
now he will be left to his own devices. again I hope this is a Joke and not some
lame attempt to live vicariously though your kid.
Dad....seriously...back off. Way off.Give your son some time to
decompress. Coming home is an adjustment and having you ranting ridiculous
thoughts and plans at him could...well...really backfire.Getting married
too quickly..ridiculous advice. Don't even bring it up.Were I you
I'd watch the last 20 minutes of episode 10 of "The Pacific".
Watch how Eugene Sledge adjusts to coming home and the time involved. I'm
61 and have a former companion from 1972 that still hasn't adjusted to
being home. Come on Dad, wise up and grab reality. Your little boy isn't
coming home, a young man with a bright future is that doesn't really need
you right now in many aspects of his life.
@dadof5sons & Dennis, seriously guys? you two have zero sense of humor Thanks for the laugh! you need to add that it is required
for you have to come along on first dates to make sure he does not messup
To Star Bright, Dadof5Sons, and Dennis: Steve Eaton writes a humor column for
the Deseret News. You should look up some of his previous stuff; he's
hilarious. On purpose.
This is obviously a satirical exposition of rare wit. Of course he is jesting.
His comment about the Hulk taking care of Congress is hysterical.
I love it when parents actually believe they can map out their kid's
future. They should start a journal and title it " Never-Never Land
Revisited". Parents can even use Peter Pan and Tinker Bell as pseudonyms
when making their entries. I thought I could actually teach my kids to vote
Very funny.... I sent a copy of it to my son who returns in ... oh... 11
weeks or so. Just wanted him to know he is not alone in having a dad who
perhaps cares too much sometimes. Good stuff.
Funny article Steve. The funniest part is the comments sections where the sad
literalists can't figure out what you're talking about.
Funny laugh out loud article! Funny laugh out loud comments too! Seriously
people it's a joke!!
this dad is in for a BIG surprise. Remember your son has been changing every
month of the past 2 years into a new man and mom and dad are still pretty much
the same.When son comes home expect that son will now be VERY independent and
have his own ideas for his life ahead ...it will take a month or two but he will
certainly be busy starting his new life independent of ma and pa. When he does
find a sweet little bride - he will be consumed time wise with her so expect
that. Moms and dad's think they are going to have all this time with their
son when he gets home only to find they probably heard from him alot more when
he was in the field serving.
Amazing that so many are taking this article seriously. It is so outrageous that
I would think that anybody would get the joke. Anyway, very funny. I have a son
returning soon. Maybe I will send him this and tell him that I also have his
post-mission life all planned out :)
This may have been written as satire and comedy but the fact is many fathers and
mothers think just like this when their young men come home.They push all
the wrong buttons and these young men/women fly the proverbial LDS nest and
never come back.
This is precisely why my daughter's first marriage to a return missionary
was a disaster, ending up in a divorce. Getting married is not a checklist to be
hurried into. The young man my daughter married was just trying to do the return
missionary thing and rushed into marriage. He was sending a false impression to
my daughter of being goal-oriented, etc. But, in reality, after he married her,
was in an immediate dead-beat mode. He played video games, (Worlds of Warcraft),
from early in the morning, when I left for work, until the wee hours of the
night, after I returned home. This lasted for over two solid years. (He and our
daughter lived in our spacious home, in order for them to get a head start, for
an intended few years.) We eventually found out he suffered from depression. So,
my wife and I paid for health insurance for him, in order for him to get
medicine, counseling, (even LDS counseling). He refused take his meds, and the
counseling. I could go on and on. This is an example of a "check list
Mormon". I don't think this article is even remotely cute.
Whose life is his son's? The son or the father?
I was at the grocery store one day and made an attempt at joking by saying,
"I only came shopping because I am out of paper bags." There was a lady
in front of my that turned and said, "that's the dumbest reason to go
shopping that I have ever heard!" - Lady, I know something dumber than that
- someone who would actually think I was serious.Good article -
Wow, I am amazed at how many people REALLY think he is serious about this.
Don't they find it just a little odd that he wrote about doing ALL of the
things wrong? There isn't one thing on the list this is right. You have to
try pretty hard to do everything wrong unless it is on purpose. Guess there are
a lot of readers that missed the whole sarcasm in writing course. Jackson IS going to be embarrassed but my the time he is 30 he will look back
and think it is pretty funny.All the best to him, at least he has
something to show his future bride prior to the trip to meet the parents to clue
her in on what that visit is going to be like. This will be a great article to
share with her to warn her about what she is getting into; she needs to have her
A-game going if she is going to survive that visit.
"If Jennifer Love Hewitt is available, she’s good looking..."Satire indeed.
The words "Jennifer Love Hewitt" should have clued you in that this was
a joke.Seriously, folks, a joke. I read this and
see--I'm going to have my son sit down and watch Avengers with me.
I love it. What a great way to smile, and even laugh out loud, on a Monday
morning. I think some people just look for a reason to complain.
Elder Eaton has been in our home many times over the past several months. He is
an incredible young man with a great sense of humor (partly due to his Dad I
suspect). I could write volumes of how selfless and compassionate and motivated
he is. Whatever he does in life and whomever he chooses to marry - lucky them!
I am laughing just as hard if not harder at all of these comments--Steve is a
humorist. Lighten up, people, and enjoy the satire behind this piece of Mormon
culture. It's nice when we can laugh at ourselves just a teeny weeny bit!
After reading your article about snow, and then this one, I am a FAN! I
can't believe that some people don't see the humor but it's
great! Your son will love and laugh at this artice. It's funny because this
is the extreme of some here in Utah. Thanks for making me laugh, again! Funny,