Comments about ‘Open, honest and vulnerable: one blogger's journey’

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Published: Wednesday, Nov. 13 2013 5:00 a.m. MST

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bigirish
OREM, UT

Yeah, divorce is tough, really hard, but a reality that sometimes yields more truth about who you are and helps you know who you really need to be with ultimately. And I'm sure you will find that person who you haven't met yet, or if you have, you'll have more clarity about it. I went through it, it was devastating, only to find that better person for me later who I've been with for 45 years with great eight kids. Good luck in your life and thanks for opening up on your story. I share your same Gospel faith, and it has given me total strength and purpose to get through life's many struggles. True prophets and scriptures and ward and personal families are life's greatest blessings! And Christ's loving atonement most of all!

Twin Lights
Louisville, KY

Best of luck to you Kenna.

A Scientist
Provo, UT

Good for Kenna.

And then there are those of us who have never been divorced and never needed any god or religion to make it work and live a good, moral life.

Moontan
Roanoke, VA

The brightest moments of my life followed the darkest. The same is true for most people I know personally. Hang in there, Kiddo. It gets better. Keep the faith.

kvnsmnsn
Springville, UT

A Scientist posted:

=And then there are those of us who have never been divorced and never needed
=any god or religion to make it work and live a good, moral life.

I think you're putting limits on your morality. Sure, one can be friendly to one's neighbors and responsible towards one's children for a lifetime, and therefore accomplish much good. But what does that attitude leave their children, except one generation closer to the extinction of the species? Do they deserve that, to be one generation closer to that extinction? I don't think so. All God is for me is that being that knows how to preserve forever some good things, and who is acting to preserve forever some good things. The work of that God must go forth, whether that God currently exists or not. If that God doesn't currently exist, then it falls to people like you, A Scientist, to take His place.

BostonLDS
Salt lake City, UT

Stick in there! You seem like a wonderful person!

happy2bhere
clearfield, UT

Her husband "texted" her to say he was divorcing her? I don't know more than what the article says, and it says little about him, but without knowing his side of the story, for now I will say. What a coward. People hate being broken up with when dating by reading a text. Imagine how you would feel if your spouce did that to you.

Spikey
Layton, UT

I wish I could say my life is like "A Scientists" who posted that he/she never needed religion in his/her marriage. I grew up that same way. Unfortunately, I NEED religion, and became LDS at the age of 18---it was the anchor I needed, the boundaries I never had, the feeling of love, acceptance I never had. It was also the knowledge that God knew me by name, and that I had individual, divine worth and value. Those feelings saved me from a destructive path.

So, good for you for being able to find that without God, but for those of us who can't, please don't rain on the parade, it isn't helpful. :(

m.g. scott
clearfield, UT

Spikey

I may be wrong, but one of the frequent athiest posters, (I think, A Scientist) said once that his wife was in fact LDS. That being the case, he may have more religion in his marriage than he will admit, or even realize. If it is not him, then sorry for the misleading info, to you and Scientist.

Boo in Boston
Boston, MA

Been there. Wrote about it. Writing is better than a shrink.

Brahmabull
sandy, ut

kvnsmnsn

What are morals to you?

M.G. Scott

Whether "a Scientist" is married to and LDS person or not, it doesn't matter. People who are religious will always think that others need religion in their lives in order to live happily. It simply isn't true. Furthermore, just because a person isn't religious doesn't mean that they aren't spiritual either. Some people need religion to get through their lives, with promises of something better in the afterlife. Others don't need that reassurance, yet they can still be good, decent people and live happy lives. Religion doesn't make people happy IMO.

SenoraJefe
orem, UT

I found myself in a similar situation just 2 years ago when I was 22. My husband stepped out of our marriage after 2 years, for no good reason. Unfortunately it is far more common than you think it is. I wish there were less people who could relate to it.

I too relied on the gospel to get me through it, and I have been greatly blessed. Getting remarried isn't everything, but I feel very blessed that I was able to remarry in the temple this past June, after my sealing cancellation papers unexpectedly arrived several weeks early on my birthday. It would have been very hard for my ex husband to grow to be the kind of man my new husband currently is. He is truly an amazing man, has an amazing family, is an amazing husband, and will be an amazing dad. My future is so much brighter. That being said, my divorce should have never happened.

killpack
Sandy, UT

I just don't get atheism or agnosticism. You say you can do good without God or a Higher Power or a Hereafter. How is that possible? If I didn't believe in any one of those things, very strongly, then I'd be sitting on my behind drinking whiskey all day and going about my community at night committing all kinds of shenanigans. If I didn't pray every day for deliverance from that kind of evil, I would succumb in a heartbeat. I just don't get it. And I've taken plenty of science and math classes. Do I need to take more? What am I missing?

Max
Charlotte, NC

On the one hand, this is a wonderful story of strength and faith. I wish her well. Her heart was broken and she is relying on the Lord and the church to get her through. I have nothing but admiration for her and my heart and prayers go out to her.

On the other hand, I am very uncomfortable with the Deseret News offering a platform to trash her ex-husband without giving him an opportunity to respond. In my life's experience I have learned that there are two very important sides to every divorce and they can differ dramatically. True, he is never named but surely those who know this young woman know who he is. We are only hearing her version of events. This story would have been much better -- and and much more responsible -- had it been about an anonymous blogger.

m.g. scott
clearfield, UT

Bramabull

And I would say that most non religious people have the attitude of Ted Turner. That religion is for weak people. Many non religious feel that they don't need religion because they have such good control of their lives they don't need it.
That religion is the "opiate of the masses".
What does it mean to be spitirual? Many people say they are, but there is no definition of that word unless it is tied to a religion.
And, you say religion does not make people happy. How do you know that? To some it may make them happy. I could just as easy say that not having religion makes people unhappy.

Your turn.

The Scientist
Provo, UT

m.g. scott wrote:

"Bramabull, And I would say that most non religious people have the attitude of Ted Turner. That religion is for weak people."

and

killpack wrote:

"If I didn't believe in any one of those [religious] things, very strongly, then I'd be sitting on my behind drinking whiskey all day and going about my community at night committing all kinds of shenanigans. If I didn't pray every day for deliverance from that kind of evil, I would succumb in a heartbeat."

m.g. scott, the testimony that we non believers are right comes from the mouths of the believers. I can't count the number of LDS testimony meetings I have sat through listening to people testify of the same thing: without the "gospel" and the Church, they would fall apart, not be able to make it, die, commit all manner of wickedness, and on and on...

Don't criticize atheists for this idea, it comes directly from believers!

Eastern girl
New Haven, CT

MG Scott, great points. And when a "spiritual" person wants to do something badly enough, it all of a sudden becomes a part of their belief system to be ok to do. We need God to set laws that truly make us free and happy. Many people have justified cruel or evil things because it would be best for most people or because they wanted something so badly they didn't care (or didn't understand) that it hurt others. Atheists need to look around-- the order and design of our beautiful earth and bodies testify of a creator.

The Scientist
Provo, UT

Eastern girl wrote:

"Atheists need to look around-- the order and design of our beautiful earth and bodies testify of a creator."

As if we have never "looked around" -- Katrina, tsunamis, the Philippines, diseases, and on and on...

You look around and consider that "Nature" testifies that either there is NO "creator" such as your benevolent, loving (?) "god", or else your Grand Watchmaker creator is heck-bent on destroying us all!

You call that "loving"?

Shawnm750
West Jordan, UT

@Max - I don't think she ever "trashes" her ex-husband, just tells the events as she experienced them. In fact, there's not one disparaging remark about him. She merely says that they went to a family BBQ one day, and the next day he sent her a text saying he wanted a divorce.

The point of the article was to highlight how she dealt with it, and her experiences. It makes no assertion that she's a better person than her ex-husband, or that he was somehow wrong for doing what he did. I think most people who've been divorced, or know someone who has, understand that there are always two sides to the story. As it states at the beginning of the article, it's the first in a series of profiles of LDS bloggers. It's hard to do a profile if the subject is anonymous...

Max
Charlotte, NC

@Shawnm750

There is no way a reader of this story can believe anything other than this guy is a deadbeat. And maybe he is. On the other hand maybe he is the nicest guy in the world. We do not know because we are only hearing ONE SIDE. The trashing is not explicit, rather it is implicit but it is trashing nevertheless. And, everybody who knows her knows who he is yet he will never get at chance to respond to anything she says. Even the smallest detail like the text message may be disputed. As I said before, divorces often have two very different sides and the Deseret News is being irresponsible here. It is very poor judgement to provide this intensely personal forum, especially when the side not being represented may be hurt by making this so public.

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