My wife just doesn't believe #9. She thinks that by complaining about me
to her lady friends, visiting teachers, mother, sister, etc. that somehow she
will get great advice and be better able to cope with marriage.Well,
now every time I go to church or family events, the only thing I can think is
"every woman in this room probably thinks I am a total jerk and probably
hates my guts because I lost my temper 4 years ago."
I agree with everything except one.The priorities in marriage must
be in the following order and NEVER deviate:1. Spouse2.
Kids3. GodMy 1st spouse's priorities were, in order, her
church, our kids and then me or at least that is what she said. Because I
didn't believe everything she believed about the church we both belonged
to, even though I believed in God and Christ and in loving others and being a
good, forgiving person, she told me that she could no longer love me.Thank goodness I now am married to a woman who values me first and her own
children 2nd and everything else thereafter.
what if husband thinks unattractive? it hurts!
@Charger Fan,That goes back to tip #1, respect. If she doesn't
respect you enough to keep your trust, perhaps she needs to learn and understand
what she is doing to you and your marriage. It's a common fault these
days.....I learned a great commandment when I got married: Thou shalt not
disparage thy spouse in public. That means not to your co-workers, friends,
family or the checker at the grocery store. It isn't nice.
Thinkman, it seems you have confused "church" with "God."
It's an easy mistake, many make it. If you mean a person's office,
calling, or function in a church should never come before spouse, you are right.
But if you mean a person should honor another human being more than God, then I
think you do not understand what it means to be God and what it means to be a
human. Importantly, God's primary aim is to help his children be more like
himself, and the more they are like him the more they will be able to love,
serve, and benefit others -- beginning with their spouse. And let us not
forget, one of God's first injunctions was for us to cleave unto our
spouse; very rarely can we manage to offend God by giving high priority to our
Great advice, even for someone who is not starting over. I have been
married 35 years, and still needed this reminder!And Joe Moe, I appreciate
your comments, makes a lot of sense.
I was talking with a young woman at work one day. She is dating and full of
life and excitement and we starting talking about marriage. During the many
aspects of the topic I said people need to enter marriage with reasonable
expectations. She asked what is reasonable? I said with the understanding that
people are flawed and need help. A believer understands God is the only help for
everyone both individually and in a marriage which takes on it's own
persona itself. As I look to the Lord and she looks to the Lord the unity and
bond of his grace strengthens us to grow as people, endure tough times, love
beyond the other's short comings. If you don't know Jesus Christ you
are missing out on life itself and it all begins with him. Take time to get to
know him and he will heal those broken areas, wash away the hurt and guilt and
he restores that which appeared to be lost. May God bless you and your marriage
as you look to him.
bmore, you had no way of knowing it, but you were writing that for me. Thank
Joe Moe, no I had no idea, but I am blessed to know it helped you. By the way,
the young woman after hearing that turned her head with a smile and said ya know
that's so true my friend's marriage was stressed because of
unreasonable expectations. The Duck Dynasty Pastor brother taught a neat bible
study how we say she never or he never... they are always... whatever fill I the
blank. I Corinthians 13: Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not
irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the
truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all
things. Love never ends. The contrast as to love always and love never. It
takes the Lord to live this out we just don't do it on our own. God says in
Malachi 2 he takes a portion of his Spirit and make 2 people one in the day of
their union. God is into marriage and it is supercool. Be Blessed he loves you.
@ ThinkmanIn addition to Joe's comment above, the fact that Thinkman
and wife were from different faiths is another reason their priorities were
opposite of each other. There was a reason Jacob and Issac of the
Old Testament were taught not to marry outside of their faith. Samson disobeyed
this exact teachings and he paid with his life
The First and Greatest Commandments is top priority in Marriage: Matthew: 22:
36-401) Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all
thy soul, and with all thy mind. Be spiritual prepared2) And the second is
like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself3) Be loyal, Be
devoted, Be committed, and Be trustworthy4) Follow the Family
Proclamation5) Keep your baptism and temple covenants6) Repent,
forgive, and be forgiving, partake of the atonement7) Attend the Temple
weekly, 8) Be Honest, Be sincere in your communication. 9) Rejoice
individual uniqueness, Accentuate the positive10) Share heart felt
communication, share household duties11) Couple scriptures reading,
prayer, family home evening12) Be realistic, address issues with
gentleness, confess, repent, commit to take corrective action.13) Learn
your duty to God, Family, and Community. 14) Marry within your faith, Be
committed to eternal principles.Marriage is sacred covenant to be treated
with gentleness. I am an active convert for 31 yrs. In 2004, I left an
abusive marriage of thirty years, been divorce for 8 yrs. I am grateful for the
gospel. God is Love