Comments about ‘Wives most important to calming down marital arguments’

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Published: Wednesday, Nov. 6 2013 12:00 p.m. MST

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GZE
SALT LAKE CITY, UT

So the key to a happier marriage is women not being "negative" and giving in to their men? Really?

RDLV
Costa Rica, 00

"So the key to a happier marriage is women not being "negative" and giving in to their men"?

I'm not sure that I read that part of the article or the research. I'll need to read more carefully next time.

gee-en
Salt Lake City, UT

I think the old folk saying "If mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy" basically has been validated here.

patriot
Cedar Hills, UT

men and women are different - totally. Men are logical thinkers for the most part and women are all emotion. Men want to resolve things quickly as they would a problem at work...Do this then do this then do this... while women approach things with emotion and leave logic out. Men usually want to get the problem solved quickly while women...it could take days or even weeks for the emotions to settle. Men usually don't have alot of patience to wait things out while women are much more patient to just let things work themselves out over time. I like what Pres Gordon B Hickley once said. He said he attributed his longevity in life to lots of fresh air and exercise from the many walks he would take after a disagreement. A couple of things that have helped in my life are my dog and hunting. A dog is always there to take walks in the hills with after disagreements at home and hunting gets a man away with his brothers or friends into his natural environment where he can unwind and vent a bit.

Kralon
HUNTINGTON BEACH, CA

"Wives can help resolve conflicts by talking about them and suggesting solutions" = wives want to talk and then tell the husband what changes he needs to make.

"It doesn't appear to work as well for husbands, "who wives often criticize for leaping into problem-solving mode too quickly." Husbands are problem solvers and want a quick solution. The wife's solution is to complain/talk a great deal which reduces her anger. Husbands learn to let a wife talk and agree until she is talked out which ends the argument until the next time.

"the husbands' emotional regulation had little or no bearing on long-term marital satisfaction" = if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. If the wife is unhappy she makes everyone unhappy.

"Levenson concluded that wives play a vital role in conflict resolution due to their ability to discuss and offer solutions, but says the study showed the opposite is the case for married men," = husbands will putter along very happily without knowing the wife is unhappy which only makes the wife more unhappy until she fosters an argument which ends with her telling the husband what changes he needs to make.

Open Minded Mormon
Everett, 00

I hope my wife reads this article/study.

Opinionated
Sandy, UT

It has been my experience that more men are interested in making their wives happy than women are about making their husbands happy.

Brave Sir Robin
San Diego, CA

So basically it's the wife ending the argument she started? Got it...

gmlewis
Houston, TX

I'm probably the only "over 60" person responding to this, but in forty years I've learned some useful tips for resolving marital conflicts. When my wife asks me to change a habit, I don't argue that the request is stupid or unreasonable. I say "I'll try, but please feel free to remind me if I forget." Then I give it my best effort, and usually in a few days I've mastered the new habit. On the rare occasions when what she is asking would wind up being a mistake, I remind her of all the other times when I made changes, and explain that we need to discuss a way to make this one more workable.

Last Saturday I heard a great quote: "Couples don't need to think alike; they need to think together."

worf
Mcallen, TX

Proverb 25:24

GD
Syracuse, UT

Men in general want to solve a matter quickly in his way. Women in general tend to look at more sides to the problem.
How many times (married men) have your wives said I don't want a solution to the problem I just want you to listen. When you do take time to listen it makes a world of difference. Just an opinion.

gee-en
Salt Lake City, UT

funny youtube video called "It's not about the nail" that is somewhat appropriate to some of these comments.

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