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Comments about ‘Ask Angela: A dad wonders how to approach an immodestly dressed woman at church’

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Published: Monday, Oct. 14 2013 10:00 a.m. MDT

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eastcoastcoug
Danbury, CT

Take things in order...let her first feel the spirit and love of God and the people around her (that's the role of this father - to do his part in helping her feel that love). Then she will change herself as she feels she needs to (which is the way things work with Free Agency).

atl134
Salt Lake City, UT

Well if you want to make her inactive again, I would recommend criticizing her selection.

antodav
TAMPA, FL

"learn to control their thoughts and eyes both inside and outside of church"…yeah, if only it were so simple…the only way to control one's thoughts and eyes in this day and age is to lobotomize oneself and pluck out one's eyeballs. But she is right…making sure the sister is fully re-activated is the priority above all else.

MrNirom1
Aloha, OR

Well thank goodness this father, this man, this husband, voiced his concern to a newspaper columnist in a question form so everyone reading could jump down his throat. I am so happy he is asking what he should do.. rather than telling us what he did do. Can you imagine how he would have been treated had he actually done it.. rather than just asking Angela? And of course knowing that there would be some sort of response from the gallery. Whew.. he dodged that bullet!

sukiyhtaky
us, CA

I think the key word is modest. If you are dressed in a sexually provacative way then definitely the leader of the congregation should privately counsel, but some of the comments here keep mentioning wearing dresses. The 'issue' of wearing pants to church is just not an issue outside of Utah. When I have been a guest at the local LDS services I have worn pants as have many of the members. Pants are not inappropriate or immodest and many times are actually much nicer than say a jean skirt with flip flops. As long as you are 'modest' in the truest meaning of that word, God doesn't care what you are wearning just so long as you are hearing the message. It is not uncommon in the wards here to see jeans even and you have to ask does fabric choice really block the message to your brain?

Kelliebelle66
West Jordan, UT

One thing I have tried to impress on my children is modesty but I have also tried to impress upon them to worry about their own issues and not judge others. What's important is people and how you treat them. One of my sons was afraid to go to church without his missing white shirt. I handed him a very pale blue dress shirt and told him that it is more important to do your assignments and be worthy than to stay home worried because you don't have the exact color shirt. Well, the bishopric undid my lesson when they pulled him from the stand after the meeting started because he had a blue shirt They couldn't tell that the boy sitting next to him had a morality issue he hadn't dealt with which made my son feel even more picked on. It is not required to have a white shirt but I get they were trying to have standards but it's a shame that took precedence over worthiness. In their desire to make everything look nice and symbolic they missed the whole point of our savior's teachings. Glad this article will help people.

NSJ
Provo, UT

I agree wholeheartedly that nobody should approach others about their clothes in church. I have inactive family and rejoice when they come to Church activities, regardless of their clothes. However, I especially I agree with Sales’s comment. To those attacking this father and his concern for his sons or downplaying modesty’s importance or saying immodesty is relative, I have a few words; you've no idea what you're talking about. My husband had a history of pornography addiction. He stumbled upon it accidentally as a teenager due to parents failing to filter their internet. It was an accident, but he got addicted nonetheless. He has since repented, but it took years to recover. It left me, his wife, with severe emotional and mental scars; I have had to see counselors to try to recover from the trauma, anxiety, and depression it has caused me.
Like Sales said, immodest dress is a trigger for those recovering from pornography addictions; but it is also a trigger for ME reminding me of the pain and causing me to regress in my mental and emotional healing. Wanttowritesomuchmorebutoutofspace. I beg you, PLEASE DRESS MODESTLY.

desert
Potsdam, 00

Love that one : 1 Samuel 16:7

7 But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.

When I started out in church I had to learn that the beauty of the outside woman tempts me not because of her shining light, but because of my imperfect attitude.If I change the inner man, I see what my heart desires them to be, I desire them to be with the Lord.

inaflannel
San Diego , CA

In a beach city like SD Beach Dresses and other casual attire are generally accepted.

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