Comments about ‘Matt Walsh: 'You’re a stay-at-home mom? What do you do all day?'’

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Published: Friday, Oct. 11 2013 9:00 a.m. MDT

Updated: Monday, July 21 2014 2:40 p.m. MDT

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crazyfam10
SOUTH JORDAN, UT

I have full custody of my kids with no Mom in the picture. I work all day, and my nights and weekends revolve around the little people that are most important in my life. No dating, no hobbies, no down time. After several years filling a traditional Mom's shoes, I've never been happier or felt more fulfilled.

With that said, I wish we could be honest that there are both good and bad stay at home mothers, rather than making a blanket statement that it's always better for the kids to be home. I have two busy sisters who exemplify what a dedicated stay at home mom can achieve, and their kids thrive being around them. However, there are many stay at home moms that plop their kids in front of the TV while they spend their day focusing on things they'd rather be doing.

I've seen that kids are better off, happier and achieve more at a good preschool than with a mother that isn't fully engaged. We should acknowledge that some women just don't want to be there, and stop making them feel guilty if they go work.

raybies
Layton, UT

crazyfam: It's true you get varying degrees of engagement among stay-at-homers, but that's like stating humans breathe oxygen. And what would be the point? There are a lot of terrible employees in the professional workforce, and most jobs are dull and unfulfilling, but someone's gotta earn a living, too.

The point of this article was to complain about people who assume that Stay-at-home moms are bored, and not doing anything of merit--and you want to bring up that there are some that fit that stereotype.

You kinda missed the point...

Shawnm750
West Jordan, UT

@raybies - Stole the words right out of my...hands!

@crazyfam10 - "However, there are many stay at home moms that plop their kids in front of the TV while they spend their day focusing on things they'd rather be doing."

I think the argument can be made that those women aren't really "mothering" their children. Motherhood, like any other job, requires a lot of effort and commitment and (like any other job) some people don't have that level of commitment. Just like there are bad accountants, bad store clerks, bad programmers, etc. there are some bad mothers out there too. I think the point of this article (like so many others) is that those women who choose to stay at home and devote themselves to raising their children shouldn't be looked down upon, or viewed as non-productive members of society.

I just wish society would see SAHM's for what they are: as women who've chosen to be selfless and put others' needs before their own.

jeanie
orem, UT

Excellent article and very well said!

B ob
Richmond, CA

Just re-stating...just because you are a stay-at-home mom doesn't mean you value motherhood.

Third try screen name
Mapleton, UT

After 27 years in the workforce I became the stay at home dad while my wife worked.
It was very rewarding and very difficult. Shopping, cleaning, taxi service, family appointments...
I learned about all the hard work my wife had done for years.
And I didn't even have toddlers at home. All the kids were in school all day and there were no diapers or late night feedings. So I had a far easier task than my wife.
Yeah, women work hard at home.

Church member
North Salt Lake, UT

Stay at home Moms are awesome. They do so much good for the world. But working Moms are great as well.

Why is there a need by BOTH sides to claim that they are better? Or that they are making the right choice?

Some people are better off/happier staying at home. While others are happier/more fulfilled while working.

There is no right answer. The world is not black and white.

Do what works for YOU.

rightascension
Provo, UT

"What do you do all day?" a question important only to people who think you are what you do or you are how much money you make.

hollyj7
EPHRAIM, UT

In my area, it's far more common for stay at home moms to criticize and judge working moms than the other way around. When my kids were young, I would get smug, judgmental looks and comments all the time from people who thought it was their business to tell me how awful I was for working.

theparent
Provo, UT

I was a stay at home mom for many years before going into the work force with a very good salary and a job that could have been a wonderful career. I loved having people thank me for every little thing I did, getting an hour to myself for lunch, and having people ready to get me anything I needed. I was living a dream. When I got home I saw the incredible vacancy of support a stay-at-home mom gives to her family. The list is too long to print here. The worst part was, my kids had already been home from school for 2 hours, and they didn't come running up to me to tell me all about their day. After 4 years, of working full time I realized how much I was missing out on and I wanted to be at the crossroads again. I quit my job and went back to my chosen career even though my husband did not have a job at the time. I will never regret that decision. I think we need to stop asking women how they feel about working verses staying home, and start asking their children.

AnnM
Plano, TX

I think women need to support each other more and just stop arguing about who loves their children more, or who is a better parent, or who works harder, or who contributes more to the family. I guess I am just weary of the same argument over and over again replayed with each generation. I have been both a stay at home mom and a working mom. It was not until I started working that I understood that some of my ideas I had during my stay at home life were just as judgemental and hurtful as the comments I heard from other mothers who had different circumstances than me. I have not lost hope that someday we can all be a little less defensive and more caring and compassionate toward ALL mothers. What a stronger community we would have. There will always be stupid comments from people on both sides. If we are content and peaceful about our decision, them dumb comments from others should not even register and be easy to ignore. Unfortunately, women are particularly good at guilt.. Both giving it and internalizing it.

DN Subscriber 2
SLC, UT

If the Deseret News is embarking on publishing material from the blogs of talk radio hosts, I pray for the days when we will read the thoughts from former KNRS host Bob Lonsberry. He is a devout Mormon, quick witted, opinionated, conservative, and a veteran columnist.

And he probably will work for cheap!

His website is really easy to find if you want to contact him!

Utah needs more Lonsberry!

Brother Benjamin Franklin
Orem, UT

To moms everywhere, thank you.

Nan BW
ELder, CO

Excellent article.

Wayne Rout
El Paso, TX

Staying at home and raising a family is important work. Liberal Democrats, who have an agenda to destroy the family, have long been proponents of women working outside the home. It generates more tax money for them and it will cause the need to employ more people in the government. I understand that there are reasons women may have to work outside the home, but any woman working for a low wage that also pays for child care, and a second car so she can drive to work, and better/more clothing, and eating out because she is tired is fooling themselves because they wind up spending about what they can take home. It make sense for a professional woman to work, but it does not make sense for everyone.

invisibleman
Orem, UT

There are a lot of comments that are about, "What's wrong with my worthy approach to parenting?" Matt correctly focuses on the "elephant in the room." Must we elevate ourselves at the expense of others? No. But the idea that men can nurture or that women can find fulfillment outside a traditional family is NOT what the article is about.The blog post is about disrespecting the role of Motherhood.
Women, do what you will, but don't be unsure of yourself. You don't need to snipe at other women who make different choices.
Remember that the only way for society to survive is if women make the choice of Motherhood. We must also acknowledge that Motherhood is not just making babies, but rather, it is the worthy profession of building new contributors to society. It is the best way to transform our world into a better place.

xert
Santa Monica, CA

To the author--the most humorous aspect of this article was when you would deride those questioning you about your wife's stay at home status (as condescending etc.) and yet the tone of your own responses are so clearly defensive. With a little re-writing, you could rework this into a hilarious comic piece.

gittalopctbi
Glendale, AZ

Amen, Matt! Obvious that some of the posters here missed your point(s) so eloquently made. And they missed some of the obvious ones, too.

@xert You are one of them.

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