This is not news. Fifteen years ago when I taught in a predominantly black
community it was commonplace for the grandmother to raise the grandchild while
the mom was off doing drugs or who knows what. She usually cleaned up her act in
time to raise her grandchildren. I often had the grandmother and pastor show up
for parent conferences as they were the only consistent adult influences in the
The American family isn't "evolving." That sounds like something
positive. In fact, it is devolving.
Many people, a growing number perhaps, are irresponsible and never grow up.
They spawn children without the benefit of marriage without thought and then let
more responsible grandparents take them on. The title to this piece is
misleading perhaps; "evolution" suggests not just change but
improvement. I don't think we are, generally speaking, improving in this
regard, though it might be better for the children to let more responsible
family members take over.Having done quite a bit of family history
the raising, by grandparents, of children born to wayward daughters, was a
situation not unknown by any means but not as common as it seems to be today.I
do get that other scenarios apply too, but this one seems huge.
The US invented daycare, the rest of the world calls it Grandma.
Another sad statistic that also effects children is the shocking number of homes
with no father. Aneye popping fact from black America is 70% of all black
children born have no father in the home. Is it any wonder then why black women
are left to work minimum wage jobs in near poverty trying to raise their kids
and thus the grand parents get thrown into the mix as well. So what has happened
to fathers in America? Hillary Clinton wrote the silly book - "It takes a
village". Actually - it takes a father and mother.
I lived with my grandparents for a couple years over 50 years ago. My parents
were recently divorced and my mom had gone back to graduate school so she could
support me. It was the most wonderful time of my life. She was always such a
wonderful example to me and as i have grown I have realized what a sacrifice she
made for me.
I don't think that it would be happy days with Grandma. My wife didn't
like my parents and I didn't want much to do with them ether. I thought her
parents was o k at least her dad her mom was a prescription pill junky, lost in
space. I wouldn't care to have any of then stay very long. You know what
they say about fish and guests, They both stink after 3 days.
I hardly find this shocking, or even disheartening. The extended
multigenerational family used to be the common, not the an exception in the
past. The window of single generational families is a momentary spec of time in
history. There is absolutely a move back to what was a common occurrence.In my case it is the grand parent moved in with us. The past
generation, my uncle lived with his family with my grand mother until she
passed. I hope we see more of this.... and yes it takes sacrifice, but so do
all really good things. If it is worth having, it is worth sacrificing for.
If we truly believe in eternal families, here and now is a great place to begin.
That is if you really do believe in the concept.