Comments about ‘How to see a woman: A conversation between a father and son’

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Published: Thursday, Sept. 5 2013 1:30 p.m. MDT

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Granny
Saint George, UT

Could everyone just print this off and take to whatever church you belong to and share it with all of the men, young and old. PLEASE!

jeanie
orem, UT

Excellent advise to young men! Both genders have a responsibility to themselves and each other. A great and honest dad with spot-on advise.

Red
Salt Lake City, UT

Great article. This is a great reminder for all of us.

Everyone should take a minute to read this and start seeing everyone for who they are.

george of the jungle
goshen, UT

I liked the talk. Good advice. We all want to have good memories. I don't know about you but I have regrets. I figure that it's regrets that separate animals from humans. You know the ole saying to err is human, forgiveness is divine. The difference between mortal's and immortal's is reason. The reason is, is because you matter.

Hamath
Omaha, NE

This is so true. For years I was bothered by women who dressed in ways that I considered immodest. But eventually I figured it out. Their dress is their problem. Their self esteem. They have to deal with the attention they get. My looking is my problem, not theirs. My self esteem. I have to deal with any thoughts that came from it.

John Pack Lambert of Michigan
Ypsilanti, MI

This is a very good article, it cuts to the heart of the issue. I especially like the point that the sexes are different, not one better than the other or weaker than the other.

It reminds me of Ezra Taft Benson's line "pride is easily seen in others, but rarely seen in oneself". Too often men with lustful thoughts want to place the blame on other people, instead of admitting the truth that it is they who have strayed in thought.

There are reasons for modesty, but no amount of modesty will save us from lustful thoughts, and no amount of immodesty will put them there on its own.

fowersjl
Farmington, Utah

Great article. As for Mr. Bass's comment...I am a woman, and don't hold the "PH", but feel rather superior to the men in my life cause none of them can have the glorious experience of carrying, birthing, and nursing a baby. As far as I am concerned, that beats everything else you can do in this life.

Logit
,

Great. Another article on how to damage and confuse the male sex. No doubt this pastor will get a pat on the back from his female parishioners with this politically correct pablum. Many of those parishioners can now go home and use it as a tool to rationalize whatever unattractive female behaviors they're pursuing and shame their husbands into accepting those behaviors. But this pastor hasn't quite grasped the complete concept. In writing this article, it sounds like he's trying most to convince himself that human sexual attraction is really this simple rather than trying to convince any future son.

common twit
Salt Lake City, UT

blah blah blah blah blah....That is what his son will hear. It is true we are not mere animals and that we can make choices but this article was pure crap. It mentions every platitude of the feminist movement. (on a side note, I agree with much of the feminist movement but not their sexual views). This article was written as pure political correctness. It feels as though he is trying to get a pat on the back from certain people. I threw up a little in my mouth when I read the article.
Ever wonder why women reject the nice guys? It is because the nice guys are trying to be something they are not. Nice guys will pretend to like musicals because that is what women like. A so called jerk actually keeps it real. He continues to watch football and drink beer. He even notices beautiful women.
It is okay to have this political correct view. And while you are doing that, the rest of us will get the pretty girls.

JoeCapitalist2
Orem, UT

In the world of "Ernest T Bass" and others who think like him, men and women will never be "equal" until they are the "same". Women are not equal until they are playing in the NFL. Men are not equal until they can be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. It is immoral for there to be a "boys only" or "girls only" club. We should cut men's college sports (title IX) until there are an equal number of girls playing sports as boys. Etc., etc..

Either that or he just has a grudge against the church and wanted to inject a dig against it no matter what the topic of discussion.

MrsH
Altamont, UT

I liked the article. This Dad sounds like he has some sense, and is ruled by his brain...an all too rare occurrence these days.
(And, Dr Thom, I had to check my spelling of occurrence...but "perrocial"? Really? Doesn't give much weight to your comment.)

Gemini
Australia, 00

This is a very intelligently written article. Yes, worth printing and giving to any young men's group in any church.

I agree with "fowersjl" and not "Bass". Why always the harping on about women having the priesthood? If you are married to a worthy priesthood holder, you get every single benefit of that priesthood - if you are single, you have the same benefits from your sons, home teachers, or any other relative worthily holding that priesthood. You need to fully understand what the priesthood is to know that you do indeed "hold it" in some shape or form.

What better way to do this as a woman than to be a mother, wife, daughter, visiting teacher - co-creator with God. No man I know of can be as nurturing as a woman can or be the vessel by which life comes through. You are in partnership with God - what more do you want? The temple will explain it all to you one day if you are a member.

This man spoke words of true wisdom to his son. If only all men could describe women in this way! Good on him. I hope his son listens.

cjb
Bountiful, UT

What is wrong with a guy appreciating the beauty of a beautiful woman? A man looking a woman's beauty is about the most natural thing in the world. Shame boys into thinking this is wrong and they grow up twisted and emotionally starved . If they listen to what they are told. It's what happens in the Moslem culture is this what we want?

RedWings
CLEARFIELD, UT

Excellent article. My 14 year old son and I will be reading it together tonight...

Sex is over-exploited in our society. It is one aspect of the relationship between man and woman; not the entire relationship. Young men are so bombarded with these images that they cannot relate to a young woman as a person. Japan is a great example of this. Officials there are worried because young men are not getting married or even dating. They use internet porn or other avenues to fulfill their base sexual needs and ignore marriage and family.

As one in recovery from porn and lust addiction, I wish I would have heard this message when I was 11 or 12. Coming from a loving and supportive father, this can make all the difference to a young man......

wrz
Pheonix, AZ

The article had some good points. But, if the young guy stays platonic (i.e., free from sensual desire toward the opposite sex) as I understand the article to suggest, he will never have a girl friend, wife, or family. For some reason, mother nature planned that men and women get into the sensual, sexual attraction stuff (what some call 'lust'). So, men and women, and especially men, must move into this realm sometime to some extent. Not to over do it, of course, lest it becomes an undesirable, uncontrollable addiction.

thatthatguy
Cottonwood Heights, UT

I liked the article for encouraging people to be responsible for their own thoughts and actions. You cannot blame your feelings on someone else. You are ultimately responsible for yourself.

This phrase: "A woman’s body is beautiful and wonderful and mysterious", seems to be counter to the message, however. Should we treat women like they are beautiful, wonderful, and mysterious? Or should we treat them like people, deserving of the same respect that any person deserves?

riverofsun
St.George, Utah

So true?
The biblical ideal of a man to follow God's plan to go forth and populate the world has been misinterpreted?
There are many men who respond to this lust, as if a victim, "she made me do it, I could not help myself" in regards to a woman and her choice of clothing.
Is a woman's clothing immodest, is it the current fashion, is it a choice of comfort, is it related to hot weather?
Who determines this? Society, religious groups?
Do women attack or over overly pursue a muscular, shirtless man, one who wears his pants too tight, or a man who wears pants way too low with views of his backside?
Who critiques man's choice of questionable fashion?
A history of aggression, assaults, arrests of women in this regard?
Will mothers have to have a similar discussion with their daughters?

Araanna
Farmington, NM

I love this article, its in such stark contrast to the one the mother sent to her sons full of shame for the girls and no responsibility towards her sons to learn to control their base natural man. We need more men like this and less like Robin Thicke

andyjaggy
American Fork, UT

I agree. I don't think we should teach the young women in our wards that they need to dress modestly to help the young men keep the minds pure. That's rubbish. They need to dress modestly because they respect themselves and the Lord has asked them too.

Let's face it, the human sex drive is a very powerful thing. Almost every man is going to notice an attractive women if she is showing some skin, it's built into us. It's what you do after you notice that makes the difference. Do you keep staring and keep thinking about it, or do you move on with your day.

Gracie
Boise, ID

To Miss Piggie: So, what happens when the early, brief, beautiful, sexy years die out? If that's all the couple had to draw them together in the first place, no amount of aging of them both is going to substitute for what should have been there in the first place. Maturity and integrity in relationships is what this article is all about.

Of course sexual attraction is important! But so is restraint under the right circumstances, and there's next to none of that in evidence today, especially in pop culture.

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