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Comments about ‘Ask Angela: A Mormon YSA responds to 'Dating in your ward' conversation’

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Published: Saturday, Aug. 31 2013 5:25 a.m. MDT

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AkMama
ANCHORAGE, AK

Wrong rule--If you are casually dating then don't kiss, don't hold hands, don't spend all of your time together. When you date like this there is no physical commitment and you can feel good about dating more than one person at a time. If, after a few dates you aren't feeling like taking things further, there should be no embarrassment. When you are going steady (I believe BYU speak calls this DTR-Define the Relationship), that is the time to hold hands and have some brief kissing. Even then, don't go into the passionate stuff and if you break up, there's room for respect without embarrassment. And finally, the most important rule is to be kind. Generally, if you are kind and also honest, there is very little need for drama, embarrassment, or "messiness". And if your jilted X does try to create drama, take the high road. Smile and be nice to everyone. Your future spouse will notice.

glennsmith
Sweet Grass, MT

Whatever happened to just social dating for fun in the LDS community. Why do the first dates always have to be about Mr. or Mrs. Right. When my sons and daughters were part of the Southern Alberta singles wards, one date, and BAM!!, your were going steady, practically engaged. Very frustrating. Both men and women in singles wards need to lighten up and enjoy life. Have fun with each other. Put a limit on the number of dates with a person, if you want. Surely, you are smart enough to determine by date three or five or ten, that you either want to get serious, or not. One young lady told my son her number was three dates. After date three, they both knew there was not going to be a fourth and parted amicably.

No wonder so many men are putting off marriage.

JP71
Ogden, UT

Not dating someone in your ward is utterly ridiculous and misses the whole point of the gospel. If you were to ask a General Authority about this they would say, YES! date everyone in your ward. Date them all twice just to be sure. Date the friends and family of people in your ward. Date people who use to be and will be in your ward. Just get out and date. Again, the young man who said this was just trying to say no to this young woman nicely. If a young man is really interested there is no "rule" that will stop him.

JP71
Ogden, UT

@glennsmith

I understand the temptation to want to just have fun when dating, but just having fun is the reason why so many young adults are now having a problem finding a companion. It seems like the popularity of just having fun and hanging out started about 12 years ago. The purpose of dating when your a young adult is to get married, period. My sister went to a Church college and did a lot of hanging out and having fun. She turned down a fine young man who proposed to her. She liked him a lot but felt like she wanted to be single longer. She went 7 more years before she found someone she wanted to marry. She admits in retrospect that she should have married this young man when he asked. General Authorities have commented on this and have warned young men that they have a duty to be serious when dating.

ShmittyWitty
Maple Valley, WA

How about this: start the YSA wards at the age of 24 and get rid of the age limit. If a person is single, they are single whether they be 25 or 60. Also, many are claiming that men are putting of marriage in higher numbers, I think that may be due to the fact that the women in the church are increasingly entitled and nitpicky. They simply cannot appreciate a good man. The pressures, and culture that the church and its people push on single people can do alot of psychological damage, especially to those who aren't able to get married to someone they would like to be with.

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