Comments about ‘Ask Angela: I'm less active in the church and want help — but I don't want a visit’

Return to article »

Published: Saturday, July 6 2013 5:00 a.m. MDT

  • Oldest first
  • Newest first
  • Most recommended
Ella Mentry
Longview, WA

Holy cow!...some of you need to just take it easy. Seems to be a few kind hearts and a bit of really bad advice too (go to another church? Sheesh. She already said she wants the LDS church!) Considering Girl, you obviously feel after being away from it, that you need the Church in your life. Great! I wholeheartedly agree with Angela. She has given you some good suggestions: Listening to hymns--Pandora's Mormon Tab or Quiet Piano Hymns stations are excellent. Prayer--a quick "thank you" in the morning to Heavenly Father does WONDERS for you to start your day. Gradually work up to asking for Him to help you. Talk to Him. Not just formal Sacrament Talk prayers. Really communicate with Him about what's bugging you. Commandments--I'm going to guess that you already keep these but if Word of Wisdom is an issue or something else (pornography) beyond the Ten, you may need extra help like counseling. Finally, I'd just show up to a meetinghouse, anywhere. Sit in the foyer to hear the speakers if you are not ready to go into the chapel. We want you back. Be strong!

Portland, OR

Considering Girl, First, I agree about saying "Thank you" to God. It doesn't have to be a formal prayer or time, just tell him thank you for whatever it is that you are thankful for. It could be something good that just happened. It's starting communication that is important.

Second, whatever your "thing" is, what you already like to do, incorporate what the church, it's members or the gospel offers into it. For example, if you like to read, scriptures are an option, but if that's too much then choose a book by an LDS author. There are plenty of options from gospel subjects to good stories to light hearted. If you like music, hymns are an option, but if that's too much, there is lots of music by LDS performers in a variety of genres (do an internet search). If it's social..then inquire about your ward/stake fun activities or Relief Society enrichment groups/activities...you might "connect" with someone you meet. For me it was dancing. I was single and love to dance so i attended the local "singles" dances. Making friends, "connecting" is what helped start my way back.

Carson City, NV

You are inactive and looking for a way back. I've been there, done that. I found it was much easier to ignore the church and its teachings if I didn't have to deal with the active members (they obviously didn't understand, because they were active) As an active member, I would find it very hard to not want visiting. I depend on my home teachers, my visiting teachers. Start slowly, if your visiting and home teachers call, tell them how you feel they will respect your wishes. Ask yourself why are you really not ready. One time that I was inactive it was because of something someone said. Another time was because of the word of wisdom. Both times there was a profound experience with the Holy Spirit that brought me back. All the time I was inactive I didn't attend any other church, there are so many pieces missing that I told anyone who asked, that if I couldn't attend my church I would not attend any. Good luck on your quest. Sincere prayers do help. That's when the Holy Spirit steps in! Remember who you are.

Provo, Ut

Harrison Lapahie is the only person who even came close to offering a cogent suggestion. There are some simple questions here, and answering these questions ought to give person in this article a good starting place:

1) Why aren't you active?
2) Why are you considering reactivating, or in other words, why does this matter to you?
3a) What kind of information, if you had it, would make all the difference in helping you to either reactivate, or no longer worry about whether you should reactivate
3b) If information is not the issue, the what conditions would you require to either change or happen for you to reactivate or never worry about reactivating.

In other words, before you can prescribe the solution, you need to understand the problem. All of these answers in a bag, pray, read scriptures, sing hymns, etc, show no interest or awareness of the possible circumstances that could be troubling this person. They are so focused on their agenda to just get this person back to Church, that they ironically undermine their ability to actually help.

Salt Lake City, UT

I would suggest reading Richard Dawkins.

Strawberry shortcake

Hi Angela

One of the very best things would be for you to read the Book of Mormon. I know when I read it I feel so much nearer to the Saviour and wonder why I ever let myself slip from doing it as it is such a fantastic book.

Layton, UT

I suggest you find out your membership number, and check your online stake/ward directories through lds.org. Often there's a church calendar there, and you can discover major activities that are ongoing in the privacy of your own home over the internet without having to interract with too many people.

Many Relief Socieites publish a monthly newsletter. If you can get on their mailing list, you can discover activities that might appeal to you. Often there's a week day activity in which you might learn a useful skill and the social atmosphere is less formal than church.

Las Vegas, NV

The Lord says to Come Follow Me...Let the Dead bury the Dead.
We read in Alma 13:27 And now, my brethren, I wish from the inmost part of my heart, yea, with great anxiety even unto pain, that ye would hearken unto my words, and cast off your sins, and not procrastinate the day of your repentance.
Come Back to the Lord; F. Burton Howard Of the First Quorum of the Seventy on LDS.org general conference 1986 is his talk & video. (We All Hope You Find Your Way Back) :)

Potsdam, 00

First, keep in mind that most of the active members seem to stand far above, they need to come down from their high horses

Second, I must admit it is very difficult to come to church, since selfconfidence is required, not per say, but per social pressure, you can build that confidence if you know the day when you had it, you don't want to keep running around in a circle anymore, you will go no matter what anybody is thinking, you want to stop fooling yourself

Third, your inactivity is a learning experience, it will make you great in helping others later on

Fourth, H.Father knows you better than anybody else would, He knows your time of birth and your time of departure, and your happy times still to come, He is looking forward to see you not in church first but anywhere knowing you love him.Don't you ?

to comment

DeseretNews.com encourages a civil dialogue among its readers. We welcome your thoughtful comments.
About comments