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Comments about ‘Second-hand porn: the spreading circle of damage’

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Published: Monday, July 8 2013 12:00 a.m. MDT

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schlumpy
Orem, UT

People who defend pornography as non-addictive must not be familiar with research studies that show the addiction center if the brain signals faster and brighter when the subject is viewing porn than when a subject is using meth. What is worse is that in theory you can take a drug away from someone's possession, but images stay ingrained in one's mind. Why is porn defendable?

Austin Coug
Pflugerville, TX

LA Mormon,

You stated the following: "Porn is not dangerous and it does not lead to any other type of dangerous activity."

All depends on your definition of "dangerous." Child porn is criminal and is certainly dangerous to the children who are sought by such predators who may be involved with child porn. Adult porn is "dangerous" to families and society. Single parent homes are unfortunately the result of porn addictions which led to infidelity, lost jobs/careers, deviant activity, etc... Personally,I have witnessed the dangers of porn addiction when it spirals out of control. It has destroyed 2 marriages in my family with the core problem starting with porn. Unfortunately, it is just a gateway that leads to other behaviors (infidelity, constant lies and coverups, etc...) which are actually what destroy the foundation of any good relationship (trust).

I have no idea if adult porn leads to dangers like sexual crimes but it is a destructive force on families which are the foundation of our society. Certainly, some can manage it but many can't. Personally, the cost/benefits of viewing porn are not worth it and i would recommend to all to stay far, far away.

trekker
Salt Lake, UT

Sex should be about love not lust, If a man lusted after a woman he has already committed adultery in his heart. Porn is addicting anyone saying otherwise is fooling only themselves. Most rapists will tell you it all started with porn, but after awhile that was not enough for their fantasies they had to turn to sex through force. Just you remember those who think porn is okay that is somebody's daughter out there. Would you want your daughter out doing that and having dirty men treat her like a piece of meat?

Richard Larson
Galt, CA

"Second hand porn".......
Gee-wiz, how p(h)unny!!!!!

Big Bubba
Herriman, UT

@ LA Mormon:

"Porn as an issue is irrelevant to the most important issues that Utah really should be dealing with."

Holy cow! Rampant divorces and skewed understandings of healthy sexual expression in marriages due to porn makes porn a very relevant issue for Uthans. These are only 2 major problems with porn in Utah. The list goes on.

Tyler Ray
Taylorsville, UT

@ Logit,

you are right. The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis address the fake idea of love found in the media these days.

It really is sad to see all the rationalization taking place by commentors on this board.

I taught a woman on my mission who used to watch porn with her husband. we taught her the law of chastity and she thought we were crazy. Then she later found out her husband was cheating on her and hurt her deeply. Porn is NOT healthy or good for relationships, in fact it's just the opposite.

Lasvegaspam
Henderson, NV

Las Vegas, my current home, offers a perfect example of deception and make-believe, the same things that are inherent in the porn industry.

People come here thinking they’re gonna win BIG, only to leave penniless. We all laugh at how all the flights coming into Vegas are parties in the sky, with the boozing and excitement starting before the folks even land. Conversely, have you ever been on an outbound Vegas flight? Notice the contrast next time. They are almost dead silent, as everyone is heading back to reality, and counting their losses; yet, no doubt, planning for the next time they’ll score.

If this cycle could not be repeated ad infinitum, Las Vegas would not exist.

Porn does the same thing to you, my friends. The same thing.

If only you could see the gambling addicts that end up on the streets here, who lose home and job and family. Who lose all self-respect, and yet still continue in the stranglehold of addiction, knowing that just one more time will give them all they need.

JayTee
Sandy, UT

I think "porn" is often a scapegoat (and maybe an escape) from weak and dysfunctional relationships. We always have people who want to control what we see, eat, and think--but morality can't be legislated; it can only be taught through example. Many relationships fail because of real or imagined "affairs," but also often they fail because someone is having an affair with the TV, the refrigerator, or the credit card. There are all kinds of damaging and destructive behaviors and "addictions," but there are also many causes or contributors to these behaviors and "addictions." It's a complex subject, and this article tends to overgeneralize as if it were talking about something like lime disease.

O'really
Idaho Falls, ID

LA Mormon. Go ahead and tell my friend who's husband was addicted to porn that it's not dangerous. He lost his lucrative career, his marriage, many friends and his dignity because of porn. Pull your head out of the sand.

3circles
Columbia, MD

@Contrious,
Your dismissal of the connection between porn and sex crimes is puzzling to me. There are several studies which indicate a positive correlation between the use of porn and increased sexual criminal activity. Please look for SEXUAL OFFENDERS AND PORNOGRAPHY:A CAUSAL CONNECTION?, and Pornography use and sexual aggression: the impact of frequency and type of pornography use on recidivism among sexual offenders, or Use of Pornography in the Criminal and Developmental Histories of Sexual Offenders. These studies all contest your assumption.
To be fair, there are also other studies which show that there is either no causal effect or a decrease in the use of porn and sex crimes, but the matter is not something which can be summarily dismissed.

Twin Lights
Louisville, KY

Would you recommend that your daughter or other loved one enter the porn industry?

If not, why not?

Do you think that your loved one would be benefited or damaged by their participation in the industry?

Purchasing the product provides incentives to the system to make more and to bring more young people into the industry.

If we purchase the product, we then have a role in damaging the young people who enter the industry.

Can we be moral/ethical and purchase porn knowing it damages it participants?

dropout
Logan, UT

I believe the bigger issue with the majority of these couples is that one spouse is lying. Constant deception in a relationship is the reason they feel betrayed when they find out. Its not porn that is hurting these relationships, its dishonesty and poor communication.

Mr. Bean
Pheonix, AZ

@Austin Coug:
"Single parent homes are unfortunately the result of porn addictions which led to infidelity..."

How is it that you're so sure porn is the culprit that leads to infidelity? Perhaps porn usage may result from lackadaisical attention in the boudoir.

The human male has a constant and unending sex drive conferred by mother nature. He's been dumped on by nature's God while his female counterpart has a 'not now, perhaps later' sort of drive. Sometimes the human male gets overpowered with drive while his companion tends the proverbial headache.

"... which are actually what destroy the foundation of any good relationship (trust)."

Trust?? Trust?? What about a little accommodation to enhance and encourage trust?

very concerned
Sandy, UT

@ Neanderthal
“Good question... there are civilizations in the world where people go around naked all day. They don't seems to have a problem with wives who sob their eyes out and head for divorce court.”

Not a good argument. Consider the Yanomamo tribe of Brazil, one of the most *primitive* and in-tact tribes remaining in the world. They are known for their violence. The idea of the *noble savage* is overblown in this case. They may not *sob their eyes out and head for divorce court.* They don't have divorce courts. They have violence and death instead.

Yes, they run around naked, but one could hardly say they have few problems regarding sexuality. There women and children are often victims of violence and exploitation from their own tribe. A large proportion of the men are killed by violence, with a significant number of those murders due to conflicts over mating.

Regarding the comment of *(sobbing) their eyes out and (heading) for divorce court* in first-world countries, apparently you haven't known many women who have dealt with husbands with pornography problems. Please be more sensitive to them.

A Scientist
Provo, UT

The problem many of the "prudes" seem to overlook is that the human mind was designed to focus on, be aroused by, and seek out the form or image of the opposite (and sometimes the same) gender. Sure, the pleasure centers of the brain experience the release of endorphins that are similar to the effects of meth or other artificial drugs. But that is true when one is experiencing those endorphins with one's legally, lawfully, temple married spouse, just as it is when viewing glamour or boudoir images of one's spouse, or even erotic images of a stranger. In this sense, the physiology does not distinguish, and in this sense, the arousal process is "natural".

By demonizing "porn" in the broad, general, ill defined sense, as these fear mongering articles continue to do, people become hypersensitive and distort perceptions of a fundamentally "natural" process: individuals are made to feel guilty, and spouses are made to feel "emotionally betrayed", which facilitates depression, relationship problems, etc, which contributes to "escapism" into porn and search for fulfilment outside marriage.

Many experts agree society can break this vicious cycle by moderating the guilt and social stigma - I.e., "normalizing" porn.

Contrarius
mid-state, TN

@3circles --

I looked at the first one.

1. They specifically stated at the beginning that they WANTED TO FIND this connection. They admitted up front that they were fitting their review to their predetermined goals.

-- "The following then, has three tasks: first, to demonstrate a connection between pornography and violence against women second, to provide evidence that the connection..."

2. They specifically defined "porn" as including violence and/or explicit degradation -- not just explicit sex.

3. The studies they cite support **correlation**, but not causation.

4. Their carefully selected US countrywide statistic inexplicably references only one long-ago 8 year period (76-84), even though the **30** year, current data I quoted contradicts the study's finding.

5. the authors admit that "Faludi states that crime statisticians in the USA, examining the data, 'have widely rejected this argument' (the argument of causation rather than mere correlation) (Faludi 1991, p. 504)."

You might end up convincing me to change my mind with better studies, but this one won't do it.

A related question to ask yourself: we already know that Utah has a very high rate of online porn consumption. Does Utah also have a high rate of rapes?

Austin Coug
Pflugerville, TX

Mr Bean,

I am sure there are many relationships that soured because of a lack of intimacy in the marriage that had nothing to do with porn use. However, the situations I mention do not fall into that category. Porn use started as young boys for both and was hidden from their spouses well into their marriages. They brought porn into the marriage and that is what killed it. Their porn addiction directly correlated with both "pretending" to go to school for years to keep up with their addictions. Is that how you treat the people you love? Is that how you maintain trust? Sorry. That you are misguided on this one.

RedWings
CLEARFIELD, UT

@ A Scientist: "Many experts agree society can break this vicious cycle by moderating the guilt and social stigma - I.e., "normalizing" porn."

Porn abuse changes the chemistry of the brain in the same way that drugs and alcohol do. This is scientifically proven. Porn generates more revenue than all major new networks and sports teams COMBINED! Are you suprised that there are "experts" advocating its normalization?

As a recovering addict, I am disgusted by any attempt to treat porn as "entertainment". What if someone suggested that heroin or crack were "entertainment", and should be normalized?

Porn destroys love and intimacy between individuals, and there is nothing positive about it. Ask any wife of a porn addict about normalizing porn....

We need an Attorney General with a backbone and desire to fulfll his oath of office, so that the laws that are out there will be enforced.....

Contrarius
mid-state, TN

@Redwings --

"Porn abuse changes the chemistry of the brain in the same way that drugs and alcohol do. "

So does "normal" sex.

So does jogging.

So does chocolate.

One can not condemn an activity just because it activates the pleasure centers of the brain. Those neurochemical changes may indicate that the activity is at risk of being misused -- but those changes do NOT mean that the activity is bad in and of itself.

Now, please note -- I am NOT defending porn in general. As I've stated before, I believe there are some very troubling things about its increasing prevalence in society. Nonetheless, I'm still a huge proponent of arguing from FACTS. And the fact is that many things which are potentially addictive are not necessarily bad in and of themselves.

Mike C
Durango, CO

I did not grow up with the influence of porn, luckily. I know it would have interfered with the striving to improve myself, to be stronger and smarter, to achieve and become a strong element in society. The fact is that my primary motivations for these efforts were to 'get the girl', fall in love, be an honorable provider to build a happy family. That brings a strong sense of accomplishment.
The effects that abuse of porn seem to produce would at least hinder, likely destroy that process from the start. There's endless 'shopping' and a false sense of acceptance, being chosen and admired.
Porn is an illusion of intimacy. Instantly allows you to get the girl without doing a single iota of personal development. One may find it far easier to live in that imaginary world than the real. This fantasy world's readily accessible and near impossible to avoid experiencing for kids. Seems to me this is what this whole series of articles is about; how porn affects our society, children and future. This series is not a personal affront to anyone's behaviors, unless your behaviors are harming others in your life. Stay real.

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