Comments about ‘Second-hand porn: the spreading circle of damage’

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Published: Monday, July 8 2013 12:00 a.m. MDT

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zoar63
Mesa, AZ

And verily I say unto you, as I have said before, he that looketh on a woman to lust after her, or if any shall commit adultery in their hearts, they shall not have the Spirit, but shall deny the faith and shall fear.
(D&C 63:16)

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
(Matt 5:27-28)

This is about the sin of lusting after a woman and its consequences but it could also be applied to pornography. The viewer lusts after the images displayed whether in film or photo and that leads to adultery being committed in the heart. Not the actual act but the mental fantasies that are put into the mind. And then the consequences; not having the spirit to attend you, questioning your beliefs, and Being defensive or rationalizing your conduct (fear)

Big Bubba
Herriman, UT

Addiction to porn is like a drug addiction, yet people who would not dare touch methamphetamine with a ten foot pole willingly take up a porn addiction. I don't mess with it because it is spiritually damaging and I have seen how it messes up guys' sense of normal sexuality.

very concerned
Sandy, UT

I find it surprising that ANY of these posts would defend pornography or criticize those who are opposed to it. Is there really anything of any redeem quality about pornography? Really?

JBT
Provo, UT

@ Happymomma - "... I am sorry that the person you worked with did not help you at the time, people make mistakes. I am so glad your wife got help and you have a happy ending." what a Pun... haha. Sorry, couldn't pass it up.

Porn, like every other addiction, can be destructive. But don't label everyone who watches Porn, or reads 'Smut' books, as an addict, or a person with a 'Problem'!! Some people view it, or read those 'smut' books, for pure Fantasy reasons. (Some just Love sex.. Shocker huh!?) Before people decide to Label their spouse or partner as a 'Porn Addict, perhaps people should look deeper into their own relationships. Perhaps something is missing...?? Like a Healthy Sex Life!!! News flash - Sex is good! Sex can be incredible!! I wold Much rather spend time and money on Educating people about having a healthy sex life, then try to 'Eradicate' Porn. Porn is a multi-Billion dollar industry. It's not going anywhere! Educate!! And for some of you, start watching it!! Sounds like you need a healthy release...

Miss Piggie
Pheonix, AZ

@SlopJ30:
"One of the un-asked questions here is 'what is porn?'"

Good question. I think the DNews or other publications should post pictures so we can see with our own eyes what porn really is. Otherwise we are not the wiser about the subject and we have to guess, and guessing of often wrong.

I hear there are folks who view porn as akin to viewing breathtaking sunsets from the balconies of their summer homes on the beach.

"When does it become harmful?"

It becomes harmful when churches and others teach that it is harmful and people start accepting it.

For the wives who sob and disparage when they find their spouses involved in porn, perhaps the answer is in their own boudoir...

Contrarius
mid-state, TN

@very concerned --

"I find it surprising that ANY of these posts would defend pornography or criticize those who are opposed to it. Is there really anything of any redeem quality about pornography? Really?"

I think porn has some very real, and potentially very damaging, effects on society -- especially when viewed by the very young.

Nonetheless, I'm a huge fan of using *facts* to back up one's arguments. When a person tries to argue using false claims, that doesn't help anyone.

By all means -- spread the word that porn damages the important connections between sex and emotion. Point out to people that porn encourages promiscuity. Let people know that the porn industry often victimizes women in particular. These are all true and important effects of porn.

But don't try to argue that porn increases sex crimes -- because the facts say otherwise.

Neanderthal
Pheonix, AZ

@Happymomma:
"One quick search on the internet and all I could find were stories of addiction and heart ache..."

I did a quick check and all I got was... (gasp) porn.

"Why would we be OK with something that destroys so many marriages..."

Porn is often the consequence of poor sexual relationships between husband and wife. That's were the emphasis and teachings should begin.

@The Real Maverick:
"So why doesn't that same logic apply to porn?"

Good question... there are civilizations in the world where people go around naked all day. They don't seems to have a problem with wives who sob their eyes out and head for divorce court.

The supposed ill effects on families, wives, etc., must be the result of some other unknown factor.

LA Mormon
West Valley, UT

All Utahns should be taught about the dangers of unprotected sex and they should honor the life creating power that sex has. Utah needs to have stronger sex education programs in schools and teach children about the responsibilities that all human beings have in terms of their sex lives. That is the key. Utah has a problem with STD's and unwanted pregnancies. The crusade in Utah should be about improving those things. Porn should not be our top priority. All babies born in Utah deserve to be born into a kind and loving family that desires them. I would like all Utahns to focus on eliminating all STD's and underage pregnancies.

The spread of STD's can be stopped by better education about the realities of sex and unwanted pregnancies can be eliminated with the proper use of contraceptives. Both of these things should be the subjects of news articles. Porn as an issue is irrelevant to the most important issues that Utah really should be dealing with.

Religious groups do not want to confront the real underlying issues with human sexuality so they create a scapegoat in the case of porn for the world's problems.

NateSG
St.George, UT

Pornography- Means the writing of harlots. I think we have a sixth-sense when it comes to knowing what pornography is, as one court ruled.A nanny state is not making laws due to a harm. Government is a safety net not a life runner.
What is violence? We make laws due to violence all the time.

Tyler D
Meridian, ID

@very concerned – “I find it surprising that ANY of these posts would defend pornography or criticize those who are opposed to it. Is there really anything of any redeem quality about pornography? Really?”

Because for many people looking at other naked people engaged in whatever is not really the problem - the problem is how people relate to it.

1conservative got it right… it’s about obsession and addiction (and people can become addicted to almost anything) and as I tried to point out below there is a direct relationship between the degree people try to repress normal feelings (and sexual feelings are as normal as they come) and the amount of unhealthy outlets they will seek to express them.

Of course the best outlet is a healthy monogamous relationship but there are many reasons why that can be less than satisfying for many people and maybe in those cases erotica/porn is a healthier outlet than cheating on a spouse.

Like most things in life it’s about moderation, balance, perspective and not causing harm to others (including other people seeing harm where there is often none).

RockOn
Spanish Fork, UT

Debate on WHAT porn is ended long ago when a Supreme Court justice admitted he couldn't define it but knew it when he saw it.

And I noted that some commentors are whining that someone (Repulicans seem to be their targets) is saying they're going to pass more laws. I believe the point of the article was behavioral and not political. The article points out the harm caused and the stereotypical imagery created. Not laws. And laws aren't needed here, just exposure for what this is and the harm.

I do appreciate the person who asked another person who was praising porn, "And would you feel the same if those women were your mother, wife or daughter?" "How gross" was the reponse. Easy to ignore the victims when you don't know them.

Cedarite
Cedar City, UT

Some other comments have mentioned Game of Thrones, The Bachelor and romance novels as examples of destructive porn. I am curious to know if Utahns in general feel that classical and Renaissance art is porn, if bare shoulders on a painting of a woman are porn, etc. Should things that are widely considered to be art (for instance, Botticelli's Venus) be edited or barred from public display in Utah? Could someone putting on a renaissance art exhibit that contains nudity be prosecuted for violating community standards? I'm mainly asking because the definition seems to be very broad at this point and there seems to be a "no exceptions" philosophy developing which could extend to artwork and books which are not seen as being objectionable elsewhere. I'm thinking specifically along the lines of Michelangelo, Botticelli, etc. Having clear definitions will be important for those in the arts so they can decide to leave Utah, not show in Utah, etc.

Mike Richards
South Jordan, Utah

What a wonderful article. We are free to read and accept, "The Family: A Proclamation to The World" wherein God told us that sex is only to be part of marriage and that marriage is between a man ad a woman; where God told us that we were not to have sex before marriage nor are we to have sex outside of marriage.

Viewing others performing sex acts is not part of marriage. Wishing or pretending to have another spouse is not part of marriage.

The only question that we need ask ourselves is whether we believe God and accept His council, or whether we reject Him.

Happymomma
MOORESVILLE, NC

@Neanderthal - Wow... sorry, I should have spelled it out more clearly. I thought someone reading my post would assume I googled "how does pornography benefit a society". Because yes, anyone who googles porn is going to get porn.

And in my experience with friends and family, it is most often an addiction that came with the husband into the marriage. He hoped it would stop after being married and found he couldn't control it. I am sure there are many reasons that it starts, but to say that makes it look like you are deflecting it to the wife.

Cap'n Parrotdead
Onalaska, WA

Oh yeah, now I remember why I don't read the DN; Stupidity like this.

Tyler D
Meridian, ID

@Mike Richards – “The only question that we need ask ourselves is whether we believe God and accept His council, or whether we reject Him.”

Curious Mike – what are the consequences for people who reject God’s council (i.e., what will happen to them)?

Please be specific…

wrz
Pheonix, AZ

@Contrarius:
"Let people know that the porn industry often victimizes women in particular. These are all true and important effects of porn."

If there is victimization of women, they are the primary drive behind it. If women refuse to disrobe there'd be little or no porn.

atl134
Salt Lake City, UT

@Random
"Obviously, to me, the anecdotal evidence seen throughout the world hasn't come to the home of many other commenters."

It's a very case by case thing where both members of the couple need to be open about it and their expectations of lack of use. For instance, I once had a girlfriend who suggested I look at porn because she thought I was too sexually repressed (suffice it to say we were not a very compatible couple). I'm sure she and a guy who were both interested in porn could get along just fine. Other people are not okay with it and as such there needs to be honesty in the relationship so that there aren't any awful surprises.

@SlopJ30: "The D-News readership is -- let's face it -- decidedly on the Puritanical side."

Your examples were not puritanical, puritanical would be something like someone complaining about lingerie ads in store fliers and paintings in the Louvre.

KJB1
Eugene, OR

Everybody here who is freaking out so ardently needs to get rid of their home DVD players and video cameras, never watch a streaming video of any sort, and never order anything online with a credit card ever. Porn made all those technologies possible.

Really. Look it up.

FelisConcolor
North Salt Lake, UT

Did anyone else find this article unintentionally hilarious?

Here we have a sophisticated New York woman, living the modern commitment-free lifestyle in the big city, who suddenly turns into a pearl-clutching Victorian matron at the very thought of her live-in boyfriend looking at naked women other than herself. And then to push the punch line further, we find that this woman is an "interfaith minister" who preaches to others the moral perils of porn consumption.

Does anyone else see the glaring irony here?

If one of those "narrow-minded" Televangelists had upbraided her at the time for "living in sin" and eschewing traditional marriage I'm sure she would have responded with an angry lecture about how it is no one else's business what consenting adults do in their bedroom, and anyone who judges someone else's sexual habits is a creepy perv who is obsessed with sex.

I can agree that porn can be addictive, and that it can damage families and marriages, and can have a detrimental effect on sexuality.

But find another spokesperson; this one has no credibility whatsoever.

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