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Comments about ‘Second-hand porn: the spreading circle of damage’

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Published: Monday, July 8 2013 12:00 a.m. MDT

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Red
Salt Lake City, UT

Porn is a poor substitute for the real thing.

No one wants their daughter to be a porn star unless they themselves have no morals and are a loser of a Father.

Even the advocates of free speech know that Porn is for dirtbags.

We need to for sure limit who has access to it. We need it away from our kids.

Johnny Triumph
American Fork, UT

At some point in the future we'll have a society that doesn't care any longer. We'll have a majority of citizens who think the porn lifestyle is the right way for relationships. Sexual crimes, especially violent ones, will be the norm and we'll, by then, have reduced legal prosecution of them. Then our society will begin to collapse. We need to be vigilant against letting the small cracks damage the entire dam, we need to plug the cracks and repair them if we hope to have any sort of future.

KinCO
Fort Collins, CO

Most of these comments are HILARIOUS! Such frantic posturing, such anxious rationalizing--you think maybe these guys are like the little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar?! Apparently quite a few commenters have a bit of a problem . . .

Contrarius
mid-state, TN

@Johnny Triumph --

"Sexual crimes, especially violent ones, will be the norm and we'll, by then, have reduced legal prosecution of them. Then our society will begin to collapse. "

There's at least one huge problem with your vision.

In reality, sexual crimes are NOT increasing in this country. In fact, rapes are slightly LOWER than they were 30 years ago.

From the US Census Bureau -- Rate of rapes, per 100,000 people:

1980 -- 36.8
1985 -- 36.8
1990 -- 41.1
1995 -- 37.1
2000 -- 32.0
2005 -- 31.8
2009 -- 28.7

That kinda blows the theory about "rise of porn = rise in sex crimes" out of the water....

jonjon
Cedar Hills, UT

For those asking 'what exactly is porn?' why toe the line? President Hinckley had it right, avoid it like the plague, for that is exactly what it is. No not everyone who views porn rapes someone, but having known two teenagers in prison now for child abuse why even experiment with porn. Both of those kids had pornography as a regular part in their daily routine. No matter what your stance on it is, nothing good comes from it. The viewer is idle for hours and progress is stopped. I'm glad the D News is making this research more public. There is help for those who want it out of their lives.

Redshirt1701
Deep Space 9, Ut

To "The Real Maverick" wow, you attacked the Republicans in an article that neither mentioned them or even suggested any government control.

What is wrong with reporting on the damage that porn does to society?

Happymomma
MOORESVILLE, NC

@The Scientist - Why does the LDS church focus so much on this? Because it destroys families.

@Midvaliean - Of course this is one-sided. They are trying to help people understand how dangerous this is. Besides, it would be really hard to portray the good that comes from pornography. One quick search on the internet and all I could find were stories of addiction and heart ache and several people saying they had every right to do it because it is their right. But nothing that stated a benefit to society or a positive effect in marriage or personal life.

The article is not asking for new laws it is only trying to make people stand against it and say enough is enough. Why would we be ok with something that destroys so many marriages, lures women into degrading and horrible situations to make money, and has the potential to become addictive and damaging to the boys and men in our society. It makes no sense why anyone would defend this other than to protect their own desires. It is disgusting and selfish.

BKB
Chantilly/USA, 00

I think the author just scratched the surface on the many consequences of pornography use. The focus was on the impact to partners. The divorce statistics are sobering enough but many scientific studies show huge negative consequences that some commenters seem unaware of. Here are just a few of the consequences:

Erectile dysfunction.
Decreased ability to love another person, including spouse.
Decreased ability to form and maintain strong relationships and bonds with others, especially family members
Decreased self-confidence, self-esteem along with increased shame and guilt.
Lack of ambition and performance on job or in school.

There are many more science-based and faith-based consequences. They are easily found if you want to find them. The key consequence question may be "How do you know that porn is not bad if you don't try living life without it?"

There are also better solutions coming out all the time for quitting pornography viewing that are not so expensive as existing ones. One of them is the Addiction Recovery Program (free online manual) of the LDS Church and another is Power Over Pornography (inexpensive eBook).

AZ Blue & Red
Gilbert, AZ

I think I am more disappointed by some of the comments than the article.

Freedom does not mean anything. We have to have laws and rules for reasons. If something tears down our society, causes danger or threatens others then we need to fix it. What maybe free for one is not for another. If anyone really thinks that Porn is not dangerous and harmful to society as a whole then please do more reading. Yes we have free speech but I also have the freedom to feel and be safe.

If we really want to be "free" as some have suggested or want to let nature take its course then we need to legalize things that society has chosen. Legalize drugs, violence, take all traffic laws away, gun laws, no security at airports and don’t forget the IRS laws (let us decide what is fair). I am sure we can all be "responsible" with these items and free choices. Most of these things are also not specifically mentioned in the Constitution as well. Do you really think that pulling many of these laws (constitutional rights) would make us more free?

Garbage in Garbage out. Porn is Gargage

joseywales
Park City, UT

LOgit- Thank you for your comments. Having been through this kind of relationship, where she was addicted to romance novels, and Lifetime movies, etc,. I know exactly what you are talking about. When we first started counseling (LDS family services) the counselors all said that what she had was not a dangerous addiction, nothing more than "recreational reading, or normal, healthy fantasy", I kept wondering why we couldn't focus on the fact that she was distant, didn't feel like being intimate with me, or always comparing me or my faults to other men. When I started reading some of her books I was amazed at the vivid detail put into the sex acts between the men and women. The words were hilarious, but still, very vivid and erotic. We finally went to a non-LDS counselor and she agreed that women can become as addicted to romantic fantasy as men do to porn! When my wife heard this, she finally began the process of understanding SHE was the one with a problem and took steps to get over it. That, thankfully, was 10 years ago. So far, so good!

merich39
Salt Lake City, UT

I've read many of these anti-pornography articles and almost always, the assumption is the same: one partner in a relationship (typically the male) who views porn without the knowledge of or participation from the other partner. These articles never acknowledge the fact that many healthy, loving, committed couples view or share porn together. It's an uncomfortable truth to acknowledge if you have a specific agenda. However, couples sharing porn together is a reality. Porn, if shared as a couple, can enhance a relationship instead of damage it.

Paul Duane
Salt Lake City, UT

One of the fundamental hurts that come from pornography is the feeling that your partner actually desires something different and "better" than you. Wives and girlfriends have every right to feel marginalized when their husbands turn to porn for sexual satisfaction rather than them.

It goes both ways:

Women regularly consume media that can cause their male partners to feel marginalized and devalued as well. They are called romantic comedies and romance novels. Somehow we have created a society where it's socially acceptable for women to swoon over media that sets up unfair comparisons between fictional men and their real world partners, yet we demonize men for doing the same thing.

Put down your Ryan Gosling films ladies, and we will put down our Playboy.

BYU Track Star
Los Angeles, CA

Pornography cuts both way in relationships. I wonder how many guys who are "good enough" husbands. Who go to work every day. Honor and respect their wives. And then find out that their wives are going to divorce them because their wife(s) have been regularly consuming romance novels and now have an unrealistic relationship expectations from the man in their life. These soon to be former wives think there are guys out there who are sensitive, but manly and loaded with dough. Lady Readers, you have a better chance winning the Powerball lottery IN UTAH than landing such a guy. Men and women's brains are wired differently. Knowledging these differences and knowing what lights up each other brain pleasure centers will go a long way towards better inter-gender relationships.

Happymomma
MOORESVILLE, NC

@joseywales and Paul Duane - The LDS church is very aware that women are addicted to pornography as well and that their addiction is usually written pornography. There was an article about it in the July 2003 Ensign and googling "lds women addicted to romance novels" brings up many articles and resources. The LDS addiction recovery program is for many kinds of addictions. I have had this topic brought up in a Relief Society lesson as well. I think it is finally coming to light much better than it used to. Joseywales - I am sorry that the person you worked with did not help you at the time, people make mistakes. I am so glad your wife got help and you have a happy ending.

Of course there is help for various addictions from many sources, I just used the LDS church as an example because it was brought up earlier, but the LDS church is not naive to it. We all need to be vigilant to make sure appropriate entertainment is entering our home. The smut in books is just as deplorable. I have heard many books, like Fifty Shades of Grey, is disgusting in every way.

The Real Maverick
Orem, UT

Haha!

Hilarious to see the right defend this article. When, according to the Eagle Forum, education and knowledge only lead to curiosity and experimentation. They teach us, "if we ignore sex edu then students won't be curious and screw up."

So why doesn't that same logic apply to porn?

Hilarious to watch the right get all worked up over sex education yet defend article after article talking about porn.

Do we support or reject education?

Irony Guy
Bountiful, Utah

My LDS mother in law walks out of movies repeatedly, even walking out of Shakespeare plays and the opera. I know LDS women who won't allow their children to read books like The Scarlet Letter or The Great Gatsby because they are about "immoral people." I have no illusions about pornography and its dangers, but why do so many women in our community become virtually hysterical about any mention of sex? With all the emphasis on the horrors and dangers of sexuality, can't we strike a balance of some kind?

3circles
Columbia, MD

Porn is a special problem in itself, because to some, it is extremely addictive, to the point where they jeopardize their relationships and careers. There are people who can take or leave porn, others who fall into addictions as strong as that for alcohol or narcotics. The problem with sexually explicit materials is that they are now so easy to obtain, and difficult to avoid. Compounding this is the complicity of big businesses, like hotel chains, who benefit greatly financially by allowing this explicit, titillating content on their cable systems.
If you are a Christian, the problem is even worse. Porn is an act of mental adultery, as mentioned in the Sermon on the Mount. I don't think as Americans we should criminalize this material, but those who don't want it shouldn't be the ones responsible for blocking it either. We have not common ground that respects freedoms and benefits society at this time.

LA Mormon
West Valley, UT

The comments on this board are very interesting. The posts about the possible problems caused by porn are not based in reality. The reality of things is this. Most men look at porn. Some look at porn more than others. Porn is not dangerous and it does not lead to any other type of dangerous activity. If porn were as dangerous as it appears in some of these comments we would have a serious problem with males committing all kinds of sex crimes. That is not the case and actually as some on this board have mentioned crimes are decreasing across the board. Let me argue another point. Throughout history the legislation of morality has always failed. We saw it with prohibition in the 1920's and we see it with the War on Drugs currently. Governments can not legislate morality. It does not work. What we need to do is regulate the sex industry. Make it safe for adults to participate in it and punish severely those individuals who break the regulations that are in place. Other states and countries have legalized prostitution. Utah should as well if we are being honest about the world we live in.

1conservative
WEST VALLEY CITY, UT

"Real Maverick" As much as you might like to pretend such; - not everything is an "R" or a "D" issue.

"Irony guy" You've hit on the exact problem; when people try to tell OTHERS what they can and cannot see. In some instances, people try to "outrighteous" others, (as bizarre as that sounds).

Pornography CAN be treated as an addiction. Just like any other addiction,(shopping, nagging, blogging on the DN, drinking, smoking, etc. ALL those things are legal and fine UNTIL they become an addiction that harms others. At which time treatment must be requested, or treatment will never occur.

Happymomma
MOORESVILLE, NC

@The Real Maverick - "if we ignore sex edu then students won't be curious and screw up."? No, we don't ignore sex ed. Some of us prefer to teach it in our own homes, that it is sacred and beautiful and that it should be reserved for marriage. Nothing wrong with wanting to teach that to our children. I explained all they wanted to know and they asked a lot of questions! I also teach my children how horrible pornography is and that it can destroy families and individuals. I teach my children the path that I think will bring the most peace, safety, and happiness. I think I have that right.

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