Comments about ‘Ask Angela: He never pays for anything on our dates’

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Published: Saturday, June 15 2013 5:00 a.m. MDT

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Carson City, NV

Kiddo, he is a freeloader or doesn't have a job. In either case this doesn't bode well for the future and you will get really tired carrying him. He chooses the place, he pays. You choose the place you pay.

Salt Lake City, UT

Something odd about him for sure. One way to easily bring up this subject...the next time he calls to ask you out (if there is a next time) tell him that going out sounds like fun, but you're a little low on money and can't afford it right now. See where that conversation takes you. You might have the chance to remind him that you paid for the last four dates, you might be able to share how awkward it was stalling for time at the restaurant, you might be able to bring up that it seems like an excuse that he seems to always forget his wallet, you might bring up many of the ideas people brought up here that it is kind of a cultural norm to pay when you are the one doing the asking out (the analogy of inviting someone over to your house for dinner and then expecting that they bring their own food is great)

terra nova
Park City, UT

How about just telling him straight-out. "Hey, I'm beginning to feel like I'm being mooched. How about you pay this time?"

Men deal with things like this better if it is just open and honest.

center valley, pa

I can't believe that this is even a question! Any self-respecting man pays for a date!! Give me a break!! The question that needs to be asked of this confused young lady is this: What kind of man are you interested in, a man who who wants to be a man, or a man who wants to supported?

Eugene, OR

This story and the words "he's a cool guy" do not go together. I think what the writer meant to say was "I'm attracted to this guy. Tell me it's okay that he is a jerk." Other than that, it's a great letter.


He's a loser. Move on. Any if he says he is sorry, and he wont make you pay again, it is just his way of continuing to manipulate you. He has shown his true colors. Adios.

Rikki Michelle
London, 00

Every situation is different of course.. but I learned the hard way myself!! :P
I was with my partner for 12 years, when in the beginning I payed for everything his reason was that he was "Laid Off / worked seasonal" ... and I spent the next 12 years paying for Everything!! He even moved in stating he needed a place to crash while he got things sorted out & didn't have a place to go (at the time I had no idea that he was in a lot of debt!!)!! At first I felt glad that I could help him out & he was a nice enough guy, I liked him & the attraction was definitely there, but then I learned over the years that he was just very good at manipulation and put me into a great deal of debt I am now working myself out of!! ~My Advice, BEWARE!!! Being Nice can easily be taken advantage of!!

Pendleton, OR

The lost or forgotten wallet should be a temporary pay circumstance. When next they got together the first thing discussed should have been here is the money I owe you. Same thing with the tickets while he parks. Hand her the money or pay as they enter the venue. If this guy is charming enough to want around some more she should take steps to start going dutch. My personal position would be less time with this guy and more time with other things/guys/girls.

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