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Comments about ‘The myths of contemporary marriage’

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Published: Monday, June 3 2013 1:35 p.m. MDT

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procuradorfiscal
Tooele, UT

Re: ". . . one thing wrong with how modern heterosexual marriage is often portrayed: 'It's wrong.'"

What a surprise that desperate, miserable LGBT activists would disingenuously skew results of studies in a pathetic attempt to portray their chosen lifestyle as healthy and normal!

What'll they think of next? A demand that liberal newspeak be enshrined in law and that common sense be punished?

Oh, yeah. They've already done that.

Go Big Blue!!!
Bountiful, UT

Just celebrated our 29th anniversary. All of our close friends have been married 20+ years. It takes some work and commitment to make a great marriage, but it is the most rewarding part of my life.

Shane333
Cedar Hills, UT

Has anyone posted about domestic violence in homosexual marriages? The Canadian government found and released some interesting findings.

"2004 General Social Survey data indicate that gay and lesbian (15%) and bisexual
(28%) individuals experience higher levels of spousal violence than heterosexual (7%)
individuals."

BYU Track Star
Los Angeles, CA

"the three biggest myths of heterosexual marriage are that it's unfair, unequal and unhappy — three claims in the "Gay Guide," written by Liza Mundy".

Writer Liza Mundy appears wrong in her opinion. With 50 percent of all marriages ending in divorce. These three factors may be contributing factors to why marriages go bust. Ms Mundy should focus instead on expounding on how to make Straight/LGBT marriages fair, equal and happy.

BYU Track Star
Los Angeles, CA

My aplogies fellow readers for my earlier post. It should read "the three biggest myths of heterosexual marriage are that it's unfair, unequal and unhappy — three claims in the "Gay Guide," written by Brad Wilcox as a rebuttal to Liza Mundy Altantic Article

Writer Brad Wilcox appears wrong in his opinion. With 50 percent of all marriages ending in divorce. These three factors are probably contributing factors to why marriages go bust. Mr Wilcox should focus instead on expounding on how to make Straight/LGBT marriages fair, equal and happy

gee-en
Salt Lake City, UT

It's a myth that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Google it and you can read all about it.

BYU Track Star
Los Angeles, CA

@ gee-en

I did Google the topic and sadly retain the same opinion. A recent article from the UK's Daily Mail

Couples marrying now face a 45 per cent risk of divorce, official figures reveal.
The threat hits a peak in the fourth year, and almost one in eight marriages is over before the fifth anniversary.

Beyond that, couples enjoy a steadily increasing chance of staying together into old age, the Government's Office for National Statistics said.

Unhappy: A study has revealed that almost half of marriages will end in divorce
More than half of all those who marry will be parted only by death and one in ten will be together beyond their 60th anniversary.
The ONS said: "Once marriages survive for a decade, it is estimated that fewer than 31 per cent will end in divorce, and after 20 years, the proportion ending in divorce falls to almost 15 per cent.

Sadly those of us in long term marriages, beyond 20 years, wake up one day being served divorce papers from a disgruntled spouse.

ulvegaard
Medical Lake, Washington

I find it interesting that as soon as gay marriages started becoming legal there needed to be some legislation drawn up for gay divorces.

Lonster
Sandy, UT

gee-en is correct and BYU Track Star is not about the "50 Percent Divorce Rate". That wrong statistic has been repeated for so long that it's taken on a life of its own and continues to be repeated, unfortunately, by many nationally-known broadcasters, authors, and pundits.

If I were allowed enough words in this DN comment, I'd lay the true stats out that prove the divorce "rate" (which isn't as easily defined as one may think) is closer to 20% than 50%. Don't believe me? Walk your neighborhood and count how many homes have divorce involved in them --- my very average neighborhood is nowhere close to half, and I doubt the vast majority nationwide are, either.

Contrarius
Lebanon, TN

"He bolsters the point with the 2010-11 Survey of Marital Generosity, which found that the majority of married parents believe their marriages are "fair" — 73 percent of married dads and 68 percent of married moms."

Well, duh. Most of the married people who didn't believe that their marriages were fair are -- guess what -- divorced. Naturally, most of the married people who STAY married believe that their marriages are fair. That's why they stay married.

@gee-en --

"It's a myth that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Google it and you can read all about it."

According to the CDC, the marriage rate is 6.8 per 1,000. They further calculate that the divorce rate is 3.6 per 1,000. That is indeed roughly 50%.

As for gay marriage --

In 2011, 4 out of the 10 states with the **lowest** divorce rates allow gay marriage. NY, CT, IA, VT, NH, and MA all have **lower** divorce rates after legalizing gay marriage than just before.

In states and countries where gay marriage is legal, the gay divorce rates are consistently the same as **or lower than** the straight divorce rates.

Contrarius
Lebanon, TN

@Shane333 --

"2004 General Social Survey data indicate that gay and lesbian (15%) and bisexual
(28%) individuals experience higher levels of spousal violence than heterosexual (7%)
individuals."

You left out three essential facts about this data. Specifically:

1. these numbers were gathered before gay marriage was even legal in Canada. The "spouses" were actually common-law partners, not legal spouses. And according to Canadian statistics, common-law partners (of ANY orientation) are *three times* more likely to report spousal violence than married partners.

2. some of the numbers were gathered regarding any ex-"spouse" or partner that the respondent had within the last 5 years. Again, not legal spouses. And, naturally, "ex" spouses are more likely to have complaints than current spouses.

3. "spouse" does not specify same-sex partner. Many gays, lesbians, and bisexuals participate in heterosexual partnerships.
-- In fact, the report itself says: "The reader is cautioned that it is not known whether gays, lesbians or bisexuals who were victims of spousal abuse were in a same-sex or a heterosexual relationship at the time of the abuse."

In other words -- these numbers actually mean **nothing** about legal gay marriages.

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