Comments about ‘Ask Angela: I lied to my fiance, now we're getting married’

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Published: Saturday, March 30 2013 5:00 a.m. MDT

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SLC gal
Salt Lake City, UT

Making the agreement was "young n' dumb". His exepecting you to stick to it was "young n' dumb". So far the only thing that doesn't sound "young n' dumb" was the very thing that's brought you to this point (and I'm not talking about the big lie). You also mention this 'sidebar' you had was serious. Make 110% sure you are absolutely, irrevocably over the other guy (honestly, it doesn't sound like you might be) before you move forward with any other plans.

You wouldn't be the first girl to date around while he's out there, I'm sure you also wouldn't be the first to lie about it, or get married and have regrets later on. You also wouldn't be the first to have your marriage end in divorce.

Whatever you do, make sure it's not the product of being "young n' dumb".

Layton, UT

There are things you tell and things you don't tell.

It's clear it bothers you, so tell. There are lots of girls who make promises to be true, and then don't hold to them, because they meet another guy. In the missionfield, this is the point of a Dear John letter, and it's kind of a good-mannered joke among the missionaries...

Trust me, he can handle it.


I had a Mormon girlfriend lie to me about a bunch of stuff when we were dating. We're married now and it still hurts. Tell him the truth. It wasn't the truth that kills me .. it was the fact that she lied so much about it and for years manipulated me. I still don't know what to believe to this day.

Lies hurt far worse than truth and break all trust.

"Serious ex boyfriend" sounds like non-chaste which is what I've dealt with. You have to tell him the truth ... it's not right to work him over like that.

St Louis, MO

I'm just approaching this from a practical POV, and Angela already touched on the first thing I thought of: He's going to find out at some point; isn't it better that it come from you? How is this a hard decision?

You're not confessing to some horrible dark secret. You dated a guy after you said you wouldn't. Meh; so? Why anguish over revealing something you did that is perfectly normal? Tell him and move on. If it's a huge deal to him, he's not ready to be married.

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