Comments about ‘Forgiveness is an important part of a full and healthy life’

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Published: Saturday, March 30 2013 6:00 a.m. MDT

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Austin Coug
Pflugerville, TX


The story about the couple obviously doesn't go into all details of what happened which does give the impression the church was heavy handed and rash. However, it was certainly more serious than just looking at porn. Excommunication is only considered in the most serious of sins in the LDS church (murder, adultery, etc...). Excommunicated members can be considered again a year later. The fact that it took 5 years suggests this individual wasn't ready after just one year. Membership in the LDS church requires a committment to Jesus Christ and to follow his example. Church discipline is a necessary step to intervene to help the individual start taking the appopriate steps to get their life in order. However, it is also necessary to avoid hypocrisy and to protect the innocent. I am certain this couple received lots of counseling from their church leaders, addiction recoverly programs and professional counseling as desired. This all happened privately and confidentially. Let's be clear, it was THEIR choice to be part of this story.

Lastly, your comment and insinuation that the wife's weight problem was a cause of his porn addiction and other related problems is ignorant and offensive.


What about forgiving somebody but then having trouble forgiving yourself for putting up with how that person treated you? That one is much more difficult for me.


We always hit problems talking about forgiveness in the terms of what some professor or would-be philosopher says, especially when it is followed up by commendations from others in terms of cherry picking scriptures to justify the philosophies of men and women.

It is a spiritual thing no matter how much we try to make it a health issue.

Men are much stronger on justice in my experience and women on what they consider mercy. There must be a reason why Justice is masculine in the Book of Mormon and Mercy is feminine: Justice exercizeth all his demands, and also mercy claimeth all that is her own (Alma 42:24).

Justice for one person might be revenge and mercy could be passivity or enabling. Forgiveness is not the same as being a pushover and justice is not retaliation. I don't think people understand either, but we see it in a feminizing way that justice is somehow wrong and mercy right.

Christ referred to both justice and mercy as "the weightier matters of the law" and scipture tells us that mercy might "overpower" justice where there is genuine repentance and atonement but mercy cannot rob justice.


Part Two:

Alma 42:24 states that without justice "God would cease to be God". His mercy is for the merciful and the repentant. The whole chapter is worth reading.

Forgiving needs to be accompanied by instruction where needed, punishment where needed, and voluntary restitution accompanies sincere repentance. Parents need to instruct children in right and wrong frequently and effectively. Society needs to do the same for its own protection because not everyone repents and also to demonstrate, and warn others against, anti-social behavior. Justice is a virtue in itself as is mercy and forgiveness.

To forgive is in itself to acknowledge that wrong has been done and wrongs ought to be righted by the wrongdoer to the full extent possible. That is enforceable in necessary laws and fervently hoped and prayed for in domestic and social situations.

Deterrence and self protection must occur if a society is to survive, and households divided against themselves cannot stand and more than nations.

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