@Obama10"You no longer have to get married to have sex. Before that
was the driving factor"I think there are other major problems
with marriage if the prime motive was sex.
It's simple. You no longer have to get married to have sex. Before that
was the driving factor, but now sex is much easier and casual sexual
relationships are no longer taboo. Friends with benefits, quickies, or hooking
up, are much simpler with no long term relationship. If you can get the
"milk" for free, why buy the "cow".
Marriage continues to erode as people embrace selfishness as their motive in
life. Selfishness trusts no one. It is all about "What do I get out of this
relationship?" and when children are involved, it's about making those
children something you can brag about. We are fortunate to trudge
through this age of selfishness, where our choices are endless, and we're
told none of them are bad as long as you "believe in yourself", and are
personally "fulfilled". Marriage vows are now written by the
individuals entering into this thing that has stolen the name
"marriage", but has very little resemblance to a covenant first ordained
by God. Then again, why believe in God, when in the religion of
selfishness, I am a god already unto myself? Meanwhile our nations
coffers are eaten up by a mountain of hungry bodies--all victims--poor abandoned
women and practically orphaned children who have no model, no hope, and no idea
what struck them and stole away all the "fulfillment" they might have
experienced, had they had the chance at a decent life, before the father left to
pursue his hopeless addiction to selfishness.
The answer is that families need to be committed to each other and follow the
teachings of the Savior. If that were actually done our problems would be
The article references another article that appeared in the "The
Atlantic". In that article they show a very strong correlation between
declining wages for working class men and declining marriage rates. When working
class men earn enough to support a family and buy a house, they tend to do those
things. If not, then no.People with college degrees are not
experiencing these same problems, because, generally college educated people can
support a family. therefor they have much higher marriage rates and much lower
A lot of these comments seem to focus on men not trusting or respecting women
and women not trusting or respecting men.In August of last year, a
16 year old girl was drugged and raped. She was blamed for this as she was at a
party and had been drinking. When the verdict came in, convicting two of her
rapists, the media attention focused on how the lives of these young men had
been ruined and their promising football careers ended. They two boys were
sentenced to a year in jail - with one of them being sentenced to a second year
on account of filming and distributing images of the rape victim without her
clothes.Perhaps we, as a culture, should start teaching our youth to
value themselves and others? When there is nothing but animosity towards those
who are different than us, when we have no respect for viewpoints that disagree
with ours, how can we expect people to look beyond themselves enough to commit
to the sacrifices necessary to form committed relationships?
woolybruce,I know of plenty of people at the age of 27 who still
feel like they can't take care of themselves, let alone others. Some people
do just fine who marry at the age of 18 or 22, etc. There is just as much a
point to saying "don't delay forever" as there is in saying
"don't rush it". 27 isn't rushing, neither is 25. So at that
point it's just a matter of what you'd call the "ideal" age.
In Utah that age is considered lower than the national average.In
past generations young men took on more responsibility at younger ages than we
do today. The problem isn't how much is 'thrown onto someone' but
that young men are less prepared today. Parents aren't preparing children
today like they used to. Instead of instilling values, responsibility, and
accountability- we favor impulse, addiction, and vice.With youth can
come a willingness to learn and strength even more than with age- so long as the
person desires it. Discrediting such earlier marriages, or a push for them,
simply seems illogical. I don't see people pushing for 18, but encouraging
"not waiting too long" does no harm.
@Henry Drummond"Despite all the posturing by conservatives about the
"marriage penalty," they never do anything about it." and liberals
perpetuate it - so what's the point?
Wow, I love the misogyny. Where do I sign up for that class at church. These
comments are full of HIS MONEY, HIS RETIREMENT, etc. So I take it unless women
are chained, who wants to own one. I can't imagine why women or men would
want to marry if this is the POV they have. As a divorce attorney
my POV, for every woman who does well in divorce there are bucket loads that are
living via handouts from the bishop. I'd love to see a study of the number
of women who forget they had kids in a first marriage, compared to the number of
men who do the same thing, all the while complaining about child support and yet
go on to produce a new brood with the mate they are currently sleeping with.
So why is ages of 27 and 29 a bad thing? In today's environment that is
about how long is takes to become independent isn't it? Why would we want
young adults marrying before they can take care of themselves? Wouldn't
that mean they are then dependent more on Government Services? Isn't the
best way to reduce the size and dependency of Government is to allow young
adults become independent before taking on the responsibilities of families
before they can take care of themselves? That seems to be a huge contradiction
in the State of Utah, complain about dependency on Government and Social
Services, but then push young adults into responsibilities before they are
One reason why people may marry is they feel if they do they have to have a
lavish expensive wedding, $8,000 - $35,000. But not really, go to the justice
of the peace or the temple, just the two of you or a very select few in addition
and let that be that.One days worth of festivities isn't worth
years worth of debt, or lack of an emergency fund or lack of a down payment on a
house if that is your goal.
Not a week goes by that DN publishes an article like this wondering why the
young are not marrying & producing offspring in two parent (not homosexual)
families. How about student loan debt that was mentioned in this weeks news?
That certainly dissuades the young from marrying when their education debt
outpaces a mortgage or rent payment. At least this article mentions that wages
have not kept up with inflation for single men. Why would they marry when they
can't support themselves?Those commenting, on these all too frequent
articles bemoaning the state of the family, tend to be two in two camps. Those
who brag on their own long successful marriages and offspring or those slamming
single mothers as immoral & the cause of society decline. How about we look
at the realities in modern life & come up with real solutions instead?
Seems the minority populations are marrying and reproducing. Is this a race
issue? The single Mom didn't reproduce by herself, so let's stop
slamming them with our welfare queen myths. How about more concentration on the
young men and how their lot in life can be improved so they could support a
Could it be fewer marry because the woman has a very high likelihood to want a
divorce after several years of marriage and will just take her husband to court
and fleece him of his retirement, his hard earned money and most sad of all
alienate his children from him? Yes, marriage isn't as sacred
as it used to be be with no-fault divorce laws and the growing disease of
Most of the people I know see no advantage to marriage. It doesn't
symbolize commitment anymore and there are numerous economic disadvantages.
Despite all the posturing by conservatives about the "marriage penalty,"
they never do anything about it.
For those who believe that marriage is either unneccesary or outdated, spend one
week in our schools and see what lack of marriage is doing to our children. I
have been a happily married woman for 20 years. (I was married at 20 and had my
first child at 21. My husband and I have been through 2 degrees and 6 kids.
One year, had a student that said my life was weird. I was strange because my
kids had the same dad, and we had been together for so long. (Her mom had had
her at 14, her siblings dad was in jail, and her mom was living with a new
boyfriend.) As a teacher I know which kids have two married parents in the home
by their behavior, commitment to school, and willingness to participate. Even
students who do not perform academically at the top of the class do far better
when there are two married parents are stable without drama and baggage. Moms
make the difference in getting assignments in, but involved dads make all the
difference in the behavior of students.
We have no stigma left for pregnancy out of wedlock or sexual intimacy outside
of marriage. In the attempt to mitigate, and an honorable one certainly, the
effects of unwanted/teen pregnancy and STDs we not only distribute to ever
younger people, but also create more "safe sex" methods. These have the
desired effect of preventing abortions and illness, but also the facilitation
uncommitted intimacy... leading to as well more partners and the idea that of
taking a test drive, test relationship, etc. We could make laws where both of
these are illegal, but based on what moral paradigm? That is, you cannot
legislate morality. The situation reflects our society. And this of course is
both cyclical historically as well as predicted prophetically.
I am a married man with many single friends. When I ask those friends why they
are not married the answers are all very similar. Why marry when women brag
about multiple partners and being easy? Why marry and raise another man's
kids? Why marry when no fault divorce and the bias against men says she can walk
out with half of his money and get alimony on top of the parting monies?These are answers from men who are in their thirties with jobs with
titles like engineer, lawyer, and medical doctor. These men in the past would
have been happily married if it wasn't for the wasteland that the dating
pool has become. The pool in their words has become toxic with women who are
'damaged goods' with multiple kids from multiple fathers, with high
consumer debt or in some of their views just too old to be a good catch.What I have seen is that these men have decided to sit out on marriage
because of the environment that has cropped up in the states. This checking out
has consequences for men, women and society at large.
Terrible headline. If you say, "the question is . . ." should it not be
followed by a question. D News going down.
This is yet another indicator that societies can go backwards.The
institution of marriage was formalized over the centuries in an attempt to
induce people to remain together for the benefit of themselves and, in most
cases, the children they produced. It has worked.The evidence that
children fare better in such a relatively stable environment is massive,
long-lived and irrefutable. To the point that anyone with any appreciable life
experience knows it as an obvious fact.Yet, for those who either
despair of having such a relationship and/or despise it, for a variety of
reasons, marriage is either portrayed as outdated at best or oppressive and
reprehensible at worst.With marriage losing so much appeal generally
it's little wonder that the once ludicrous notion of homosexual
"marriage" has so recently and quickly become the cause
célèbre with every wind-sniffing politician jumping on the band wagon
of political expediency.Completely disregarded in all of this
disregard for marriage is its inevitable deleterious effect on children and,
increasingly, society.This is no "Brave World" into which we
are headed. It is a return to an abysmal one.
For Children, Leave it to Beaver sounds pretty good! For some families, it
really was the reality, still is. Eddie Hascal was probably from a broken
family, but sure was likeable!
So young heterosexuals are not marrying, they are just living together producing
babies. (In another article I read this morning), Grandparents are
raising there grandchildren more and more these days.Children from
broken homes are far more vulnerable to abuse and drugs!Not a wonder
the children are confused, have low test scores and are becoming disadvantaged.
Not a wonder we have greater numbers of younger criminals.When
adults refused to take responsibility and act like adults, the children suffer
and the nation becomes corrupt.Maybe, the children are better off adopted
in to a married homosexual relationship? At least their life would be stable!!!
If young people aren't getting married in the first place, how is making it
harder to get a divorce going to change that? "Gee, I wasn't going to
get married right away, but knowing that I can't get divorced unless abuse,
cheating, or abandonment is involved has changed my mind!" said no young
adult ever. Which brings to mind a question: has anyone asked young
adults why they are delaying marriage? There is a lot of speculation in this
article - but no indication that the group in question has been questioned.
wow the thinking in the article is what back in the 50's. here is what you
missed completely. why the age of marriage was pushed back to 27 and 29. more
women are out finding careers for themselves. so they don't have to rely on
men for stability. men are not seeking brides right away cause they are also
building a career and don't want to have kids right away. if you really
want to look at the true number not the shaded numbers. with divorce rates at
50% nation wide, more women and men are dating longer to find out if they truly
want to marry the person they are dating. it has nothing to do with money or
stability. it has to do with getting married cause they truly love the man or
women you are with. not because someone bought a ring and got the parents
blessing. also believe it or not. you don't have to get married.
I know a couple who wouldn't get married because they received a lot more
money from the government if they lived together and filed as single adults
instead filing taxes as a married couple. Single moms get back more money for
each child than married ones do. It should not be more financially beneficial to
"shack up" than to get married. With these types of incentives the
government is encouraging many couples to avoid marriage. If the government will
give you thousands of dollars to live together rather than marry and money is
tight than many people will choose the latter.