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Comments about ‘Mormon teen boys talk about what makes girls attractive in YouTube video’

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Published: Monday, March 4 2013 5:00 a.m. MST

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cjb
Bountiful, UT

What makes a person attractive? Certainly personality, intelligence and character (kindness and integrity) count, but the main thing especially for boys that age and even men who are older is, ... an attractive girl is good looking.

If their answers were anything different than this, then they either are not being truthful or they are not normal.

Chris B
Salt Lake City, UT

Being attractive makes you attractive. Yes, the truth hurts sometimes.

Red
Salt Lake City, UT

I would rather be with a fun, energetic, confident and happy person who is grounded in the Gospel and friendly to others for the rest of my life, than be stuck with a "good looking" girl who only has that going for her.

I couldn't imagine anything worse than trying to maintain all of the hysteria that goes along with someone who only think there looks matter.

Hat's off to these boys who have a great idea of what to look for in a companion!

Note to girls: Do not fall for the lie of the world. Learn to be happy with yourself. That is more attractive than anything else.

Jack
Aurora, CO

Amen to that. The world would tell young women that they need to advertise the physical, that they are only as good as their physical attributes, and that they need to expose/accentuate/display them. With that, you get a self centered Barbie doll or a slave to pop culture/fashion with the depth of a puddle. I counsel(ed) my sons to stay away from such, as they will only bring financial hardship and conflicts. A truly attractive woman is comfortable with herself, smart, resilient, and has a testimony. She takes care of herself and isn't wrapped up in the latest fad. Good looks are nice, but you want depth, warmth and commitment for a lasting marriage.

Emajor_
Ogden, UT

"I would rather be with a fun, energetic, confident and happy person who is grounded in the Gospel and friendly to others for the rest of my life, than be stuck with a "good looking" girl who only has that going for her."

But if there were two fun, energetic, confident and happy women, one who is physically attractive and one who is not, which would you choose? To think that this choice isn't being made every day in the LDS Church youth, just as it is in "the world" is disingenuous at best.

I don't want to be a downer, though. The purpose and morals behind this video are to be praised heartily.

Jack
Aurora, CO

I don't think anyone is saying that good looks are not desirable, only that if that is all you look for, you will be disappointed in the long term. Concentrating solely on the physical isn't very smart, and I don't think disingenuous even applies here.

atl134
Salt Lake City, UT

@cjb
"Certainly personality, intelligence and character (kindness and integrity) count, but the main thing especially for boys that age and even men who are older is, ... an attractive girl is good looking.

If their answers were anything different than this, then they either are not being truthful or they are not normal."

Ever notice how nasty women with bad personalities in your life seem to start looking less attractive? It works in reverse too.

baaikins
Indianapolis, IN

I wish every young woman in the church could view this video. To hear these young men tell how they feel about the young women is powerful. Very well done~

Marty22
salt lake city, Utah

I wonder where are all the videos made by the girls for the guys' benefit. Could it be that young teenage boys don't sit around wondering what girls want in a husband? (Other than an RM, of course) This is all about, "girls, be like this and that, and hope that one of those cute guys will pick you?"

How about, "I want a strong, smart, intelligent woman who has aspirations besides just being my wife."

This video is so awful, AWFUL!!! ! It's all about the GUYS!!!!

Written by a grandma.

Don Bugg
Prince Frederick, MD

Though I think I understand the spirit of Marty22's comments, I think she goes too far in condemning the video. It isn't telling girls that the ultimate purpose of their lives is to get a guy, so that every choice they make should be centered around pleasing boys in order to land one. Rather, it is telling them that they don't have to buy the lie that they must choose between either being attractive to males (which most of them naturally desire to one extent or another) or being whole, well-rounded, intelligent, well-developed and spritually mature people. The video helps them see through that false dilemma and realize that being the best women they can be will make them attractive to the best of men.

Don Bugg
Prince Frederick, MD

I understand the spirit of Marty22's remarks, but I believe her judgment of the video is unnecessarily harsh. The video isn't telling girls that their only value comes from being attractive to cute boys. Society outside the Church is giving them that message in spades. Rather, it is telling them that they don't have to accept the lie that says they must choose between either being attractive to males (as most of them naturally desire to be, just as most males naturally desire to be attractive to them) or being good, whole, well-rounded, educated and spiritually mature women. Rather, it's designed to help them see through that false dilemma and realize that being the best women they can be is what will make them most attractive to the best of men.

Rune
Utah, UT

Girls already get told plenty that their ultimate purpose is to get a guy, so they can become mothers and live happily ever after, and the drilling in that message starts as young as 12. So, while this video may not explicitly be to that end, it sure plays into it.

And, when I was a YW, things like this made me feel like absolute crap. A girl's value doesn't come from what the boys around her think or her, even if they do like her because of good things. The other side of this "helpful" message is a double-handed slap to the girls who don't have a good dating life or who the boys aren't interested in. Those girls could so easily take it to mean that they're not good enough on the outside OR on the inside, that they'd have to change fundamentally to be loved. That's what you get when you just replace, "I'll want you if you're hot," with, "I'll want you if you're ____," doesn't change the premise that girls are for them.

Maybe don't make it about boys. Especially at girls camp!

cjb
Bountiful, UT

Re Atl134

There is truth in what you say.

Gemini
Australia, 00

It fills my heart with hope and joy at the next generation when I hear & see youth like these amazing young men speaking so eloquently and confidently about the young women they may one day choose as their eternal companions. They speak the truths their parents have taught them with conviction & strength. I encourage everyone to send this YouTube link to any young men, young women, and even some YSAs so that they can aspire to live up to the ideals these young men talk of! Bravo. Never change.

B ob
Richmond, CA

No matter how you define or reach the status of beautiful...I do not think that any young woman has to be approved of by any young man in anyway.

Mister J
Salt Lake City, UT

re: Chris B 3/4 9:34

What are you saying? Beauty is skin deep but ugly goes all the way to the bone?

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