There are too many variables to this equation to be making ridiculous claims
that if your child had to cry it out for a couple nights they'll be
depressed when they get to be adults. This is just a guilt-trip
article to make parents feel paranoid that they're not doing the best job
they can do. Further, Correlation does not mean Causation.Even if a statistical correlation can be shown to exist between the outcomes
of different parenting models, it does not necessarily mean that those parenting
models cause the problems they are monitoring... In fact those parenting models
may very well be symptomatic of other stresses or problems which are unrelated
to the kid, but impact them. Again. Too many variables.
Also, another short comment. Why do we always think that Hunter-gatherer
societies have it right? It's like this thing we do, nowadays.
"Hunter-gatherers had it right." What empirical evidence do we have that
they turn out to be healthier, more well adjusted adults than in any other
society? I studied anthropology for my undergrad, and trust me, those societies
can do as many wacky things to their children as we do. They're just
different. (Although they probably don't haul their kids to Walmart at 11
o'clock at night.)
Babies and children who are constantly over-tired have an astronomically greater
likelihood of hindered brain development than children who are allowed to cry a
few nights in a row for an hour or less so that they can get on a natural sleep
schedule. When baby gets more sleep, so does mom. When mom gets more sleep it
dramatically decreases her chance of having postpartum depression.Also, children start to be able to organize their sleep patterns around 4
months. My daughter at about 4-5 months would fuss, and she would rub her red
little eyes and yawn, but never go down earlier than 10 or 10:30. Out of
desperation I read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc
Wiessbluth, MD. It helped my daughter to get back on a healthy sleep pattern. I
highly recommend that book to anyone. It's more about being sensitive to
your child's natural sleep schedule for their age than "crying it
out" (although that method may be necessary, as in my case since my
daughter's sleep pattern was way off for her age). 1-2 night wakings to eat
(not play) are normal until 9 months.
Modern day trends in families and parenting are not productive. Back to the
basics is the way to go.
I know it is stressful when children cry at night, but it is part of a
parent's duty to take care of the child. We can deal with a lack of sleep.
We are the adults, after all. I decided to do the night diaper
changes for my wife, at first feeling a little sorry for myself. Now I'm
glad I did. I don't remember the lack of sleep, but I do treasure the
memories of holding them for a while after they were clean, dry, and content for
a little night reverie just between us. Mom had them during the days while I
was at work, but I could bond at night.The critical thing for
parents is that they consider their children to be so precious that they want to
hold them, talk to them, play with them, and enjoy their lives together. They
should be so anxious to communicate with them that they hang on every movement
and facial expression for a clue of recognition and response.You
don't wait to afford children. They are your treasure.
Bottle feeding is as cuddly as breastfeeding, perhaps even closer. When you
bottle feed you hold the baby as close as breastfeeding AND can look the baby in
the eye while signing or talking.
My wife and I had our first child and we did NOT want to do the cry it out.
Every doctor we talked to told us to just let her cry. After 9 months of not
sleeping we finally gave in and let her cry for the night. We didn't like
it, and we hope we don't have to do it again, but we can't deny that
it worked. Within two nights she was sleeping through the night, and so were we.
I hated doing it, most parents probably do, but adults that
haven't slept more than 4 hours a night for months make lousy parents.