One key factor in successful adulthood is reaching adulthood alive.
Childhood and teen years are awesome, because generally speaking, in
"fun" activities, you have a wider margin for error, and with that
margin, you can learn what the normal margins of safety are. And that then
carries into other areas of life as a metaphor you can subconsciously draw
upon.It's like learning to drive in slippery conditions. The
best way to do it is on a large parking lot with plenty of room. You purposely
go in and out of control. And by doing so, you learn where the margins of safety
are. You can learn more in an hour on such a parking lot, having "fun",
not thinking of it as a learning experience, than a year of driving on the
road.Another analogy is group dating. Teens are encouraged to date
in groups. Because there are a lot of other people around, there is a wider
margin of safety. If you did a certain behavior privately, you would probably
"crash" (e.g. get pregnant), but in a group setting, having other people
around gives you the strength to pull out of the bad situation so it
doesn't go badly.
Screwdriver- NGLL not NOLO. Not Going to Live Long. Anyway, it's hard to
watch your kids do crazy things, but then I remember that I too did some sketchy
things growing up. I have a friend who lived his whole life as careful as can be
and now has 2 forms of untreatable cancer. He's 40. His regret is not doing
more exciting things, and not putting himself out there more. I love the little
plaque my wife gave me that says, "Life's journey isn't to arrive
at the grave in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways while
shouting, Whoo Hoo, what a ride"! I'll take that any day, and my kids
(extreme sports junkies) will too.
This is an absolutely foolish article and the so-called experts are completely
wrong, which is probably the best and only learning this article has to
offer.The comment posted by "Conservative Scientist" is
quite accurate. There is a huge difference between reckless behavior and
healthy risks, or I would even say, challenging yourself beyond your comfort
zone. But even then, while there are benefits to that, who is to say that you
have to go beyond your talents and personality to be a good parent or successful
person. Is the development of healthy self-esteem really dependent upon
successful risk taking? Or can a person be successful and confident by
developing their personal talents and enjoying who they are?Risky
teenage behavior should not be glorified, whether on YouTube or articles like
this. The potential consequences are just too dangerous and the rewards,
despite what is claimed here, do not justify the action.Teenagers
should be taught to develop their talents, go forward with what they feel
comfortable with and be careful in, or avoid all together, dangerous
environments. In my mind, articles like this is what is classified
as irresponsible reporting.
Kids call it "YOLO" - You only live once so do crazy thing (as long as
you video tape it for youtube also seems to be key)I call it
"NOLO" - not going to live long.
Only had moments to skim the article and comments....My only first
thought; so long as they stay away from drugs. Quite a well documented and
unfortunately rampant risk taken by too many. Consequences and risks are
incalculable except in that they are often sadly terminal.
I finally completely agree with mountain man. I thought that one of the primary
points of the article was that youthful risk needs to be influenced by parents,
through teaching, example, and of course some monitoring. However, to try and
shield your child from risk is first of all usually futile, but secondly
damaging. This is one of the reasons it's tough to be a
parent..because risk..is risk, which means exposure to danger. It can be simply
embarassing and hurtful like a rude no to a date request or it can be as
damaging as death. I have friends who's youthful behavior made us think
they wouldn't make it to adulthood..but had sterling careers as judges.
Clearly their parents were doing something right..and they had some good luck.
I also have a friend who's son displayed risky behavior who really
didn't try and influence that behavior and the child didn't make it to
their 19th birthday. Unlike the first instance it was a matter of running out of
luck...however they kept putting themselves in risky circumstances, thinking the
benefits outweighed the dangers..they were wrong.
My brother was a self-taught pilot, adventurer in the extreme. My mother said
that he would turn out allright, if he lived long enough. He did; he was a
successful businessman in his early 20s. However, the ultra-light bug caught
him. At age 28 he died in an ultra-light flight gone wrong when the wings
distored. He had been flying for ten years, but did not calculate the risk of
flying an "aircraft" that wasn't exactly right. As many
other posters have said, the article, and especially the headline, have
distortions too. Helping teens channel impulsive behavior into activities that
involve risks, but not outright reckless risks, is appropriate parenting. When
our flying son wanted to become a pilot, I took him to the airport for training
(age 14) because I wanted him to learn using conventional aircraft with trained
instructors so he would at least not just go fly an ultra-light without having
some good background first. It actually worked. He developed a love for those
'planes at general aviation, and survived his accident in one.
Sometimes asking a crush out in a date is risky. If you think there is little
interest on their end-- it gets very risky. Taking risks-- ever heard of
Richard brandson. He had a childhood full of taking risks. I think he is
driven by risk. He talks about taking risks as a child in his autobiography. Look at helicopter parents who try to shield their kids from any risk or
failure. The kids turn out messed up. Healthy risk taking is good.
I've known several of these types, most never make it to their next
birthday. Risky behavior is just that "risky."
Yet again the "experts' are nothing more than expert in declaring
themselves to be expert. Common sense is the missing ingredient and seemingly
that cannot be taught except by example in a true mother and father family home
and environment that in too many cases is ancient history.
Yes, this is to me the usual kind of spurious social "Science" research
with pop impact for the researcher and no lasting consequence becuase the
conclusions from the study are so inferior to common sense and analytical
asessment from empirical "studies" .MASTERY is the joy and
delight for ALL children irrespctive of age. there would be no drop-out problem
in our nation if building kids' capacities instead of their learned
helplessness and failure, is what is learned in school.Calculating
risks and being courageous (not risky) is what helpes young people, at any age
develop the self-confidence that they need ti become autonomous.So
much of this article is frustratingly close to some real understanding of the
process of a child and a teen anvigating adulthood, but some of it is grossly
wrong.AS a young teen kids need to experience the outside world
under the tutelage of healthy adults, just as much as they can benefit from
netowrking with otehrs in their sphere. The fact that concerned
adults outside a child's family basically abandon teens to their own
devices accounts a great deal for the mess the world is in.Yet we prolong
adolescence lifelong. Geh!
Exactly conservative scientist! Thank you
The title is misleading and poor. "Healthy Risks" (substance of
article) are very very different from "Reckless behavior" (title).
Trying to equate the two and stating that reckless behavior leads to success in
life is ludicrous. I have seen, for example, the lives of many youths
completely ruined by getting addicted to drugs (reckless behavior) and this in
no way prepares them for future success. Other examples abound. Asking a crush
out on a date or doing something hard is not "reckless behavior". The
title would be much better as "Helping youths learn to take healthy risks
and learn from them can prepare them for future life".