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Comments about ‘Disciplining children: Confused about what works?’

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Published: Friday, Dec. 28 2012 1:25 p.m. MST

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three11stu
Saratoga Springs, UT

Very easy: I treat my child the way that I wish to be treated, and I don't do to them things that I say we shouldn't do to people.
What is confusing is when you tell your children it is not okay to hit others, yet when they are bad, they get hit by you. It is confusing when they get in trouble for yelling, and you yell at them when they are in trouble.

Pete1215
Lafayette, IN

I think these studies should ask the larger question, "What types of child rearing produce the best people for society". Happy children that become expert manipulators don't do society any favors.

Albert Maslar CPA (Retired)
Absecon, NJ

"Experts suggest trying tactics professionals use, including consequences for misbehavior." Keeping God and the Ten Commandments out of the equation is a major part of the problem. If God is left out of the picture, there is only mayhem on a broad scale.

Walt Nicholes
Orem, UT

Honey Boo Boo is a case in point - but maybe not the point the author intended.

Midvaliean
MIDVALE, UT

@Albert Maslar CPA (Retired)
It's an interesting statistic, but there really are not too many atheists in jail.
Also note that most criminals that make the news were brought up religiously. This only means that you can lead a horse to water, but you can not make them drink.

SportzFan
Salt Lake City, UT

Honestly, there are more ignorant commenters here than on the sports articles.

Miss Know-it-all
Miss Assume-it-all
Mr. Preacher
Mr. Judge
Mr. No-proof-of-his-claims

SS
MiddleofNowhere, Utah

"Spare the rod spoil the child." It's worked for thousands of years regardless of what new age studies on children tell us.

SomeClarityPlease
Quiet Neighborhood, UT

I am kind of with the crowd that says "spare the rod, spoil the child" occasionally for younger children that refuse or don't understand reasoning.

Kalindra
Salt Lake City, Utah

@S
there is absolutely no evidence to support the idea the corporal punishment is a safe and reasonable solution. 1,770 children die every year due to child abuse. Even if you manage to avoid physical scares the emotional trauma had effects well beyond the punishment and well beyond that one child.

OlderGreg
USA, CA

The first child was crushed by a mild disappointed look --- I had this parenting/ discipline thing all figured out. Then the others came, each playing a different game ---

They are all grown up now, some with kids of their own. They each took different paths in life, but I am proud of them all.

J-TX
Allen, TX

@SportzFan;

Don't forget: Mr. Name-caller.....

J-TX
Allen, TX

There is no one-size-fits-all where disciplining children is concerned, no magic formula. That's why the thousands of books and videos on the subject exist.

As a father of four wonderful young adults, I would offer the following guidelines:

1. Learn to say no. Say it early, say it often, and explain to their level of understanding why the answer is no.
2. Learn to see them through God's eyes. They are His children first, only entrusted to you for this short, crucial time in their development. You have a responsibility to them and to Him.
3. Be adaptable, flexible and merciful. It's OK to apologize.
4. Guide yourselves by D&C 121. Unrighteous dominion occurs more in the home than anywhere else on earth. "Reproving sometimes with sharpness" is sometimes necessary, but don't forget the other part - "showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;"

I was mercilessly beaten as a child by a drunken father, but only twice ever gave a single swat to one of my children's backside. The cycle of abuse CAN be broken, but it is difficult.

SS
MiddleofNowhere, Utah

@ Kalindra,
I'm not advocating child abuse. I see child abuse and corporal punishment as two totally different things. Corporal punishment is just that, punishment for wrong actions. In MANY cases that is the only way young children understand the punishment. Trust me, your child's boss isn't just going to put them in time out when they mess up. Children need to learn respect and consequences early in life. I was spanked as a kid and now, in my early 20's I'm best friends with my parents. Emotional scars come from abuse, "emotional scars" for a spanking is just a bunch of stuff and an excuse to take away personal responsibility.

TruthTalker
Crystal River, FL

Very strange that an article on this subject does not even mention spanking.

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. (Proverbs 22:15)

TruthTalker
Crystal River, FL

I neglected to see that there was a second page to the article, so my first comment questioned why spanking was not mentioned. The article said spanking was something not to do. So I guess wise Solomon of the Bible had it wrong?

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. (Proverbs 22:15)

I think most of the problems in child rearing stem from not spanking. I was spanked, not only at home, but also in school by teachers with paddles that hung on the wall of the classroom. Spanking was very effective and made me less aggressive, unlike what this article suggests. I have five children and have spanked them all from time to time when they were small. None of them have been made aggressive from it.

I think time outs make children rebellious. I never use time out as discipline. I think some children put in time out use that time to devise plans concerning how to work around the authority rather than realizing that they were wrong.

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