Comments about ‘'The President's Marriage Agenda': How to reduce suffering for children and strengthen families’

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Published: Sunday, Dec. 16 2012 12:05 a.m. MST

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bandersen
Saint George, UT

At the very minimum, the federal government must be contained by consitutional restraints, which is to allow the states to come up with their own plans to deal with not just this issue, but every related issue that is not the Federal Government's business. Penalizing marraige, and encouraging men and women to live together without it, is just one of them. The irony of all this is watching both political parties scramble to 'solve' the problem by means of compulsion, something that will only make things worse. Any person who believes that compulsion is the best way to deal with this is delusional at best. Until enough citizens realize that the best way to solve a problem is by teaching and living correct principles within the familly, we will continue to have a government that spends more and solves less. Right now our federal government promotes welfare, promotes living together without marraige (via tax policy and a host of other anti-family measures), and has abandoned its primary role of guranteeing rights and abiding by constitutional law.

Hutterite
American Fork, UT

Allow gays to marry. Implement a single payer health care system to remove the burden and worry of health care from so many families. Create a broader social safety net.Make post secondary education more affordable. There are lots of things we can do as a society to help marriage and family besides just trying to force them into some mould a church imposes.

very concerned
Sandy, UT

There is a national interest in having strong families. 60%, as quoted in the article, is a huge number which will have significant national consequences. However, some of the liberal solutions - perhaps unintentionally - place a bigger burden on families through higher taxes for some, if not all.

It is sobering that family researchers are learning things that have long been taught by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints and other organizations. Please see *The Family, A Proclamation to the World*; by going to LDS.org, then RESOURCES, then HOME AND FAMILY, and finally, the proclamation.

*WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.*

Never more timely and necessary teachings

Thinkman
Provo, UT

Take away no fault divorce laws and limit alimony to 3 years maximum and you will see divorce drop in half. You would then see a much more favorable view from couples who are living together to get married.

Easy divorce had led to a crumbling of the state of marriage.

Sponge Bob
Rockwall, TX

I know the mood of this country right now is "we've got to do something " for every problem we have. Funny how we never had to "do" anything 50 years ago to avoid these calamities that have arisen in recent years. Is it because we have forgotten God? We allowed people to push God out of our public life and we allowed it to carry over to our personal life also. Creating a larger social safety net and providing free health care and gays to marry will not change this trend. The only way to change this tsunami is to put God back in our personal lives. Teach kids morals at home and at school. Teach them ethics at home and school. Otherwise...the problems will only continue to get worse!

BYU Track Star
Los Angeles, CA

I would like to remarry. But the aftermath of my long-term marriage is plainly: She was financially rewarded for quitting the marriage, She got Half my pension. Half my 401k Plus she gets Spousal support (about 30% of my gross) until I reach retirement age. She has a dis-incentive to remarry or cohabit as she would lose the Spousal Support which doubled her annual income. Its a real challenge to have to choose between paying a full tithe or making my house payment. Stories of miracalous financial events tied from paying a full tithe make me winch and fearful

oldschool
Farmington, UT

Ms. Carbone says the problem is not family values. It's the chief problem. People nowadays condone, accept and even promote cohabitation and even having children before marriage. Divorce used to be strongly discouraged and people who had divorced were seen negatively by society and in some circles even shunned. Nowadays many people see divorce as a solution to problems. I'm certainly not in favor of judging a person based on his or her marriage record because nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. But society should do everything reasonable to support marriage and discourage divorce. There should be tax incentives FOR married couples rather than tax penalties against them. As for Carbone's claim that income inequality is to blame, she can't have it both ways. She complains that the Donald Trumps of the world make too much money, and then she complains there are too many women (vs. men) who are college educated and well paid.

atl134
Salt Lake City, UT

There are tax incentives for married couples. That's why Obama had long been saying that he wanted to get rid of the bush tax cuts for individuals making over 200k and couples making over 250k.

UtahDemocrat
Salt Lake City, UT

I applaud the Center for Marriage and Families for focusing on real threats to marriage. I've participated in countless forums, debates, and speeches where the issue of marriage for gay and lesbian couples is framed as "Gay Marriage v. Defending Marriage." There are real threats to marriage in society, but it's not the two men who live together down the street. Let's focus on systemic disincentives to entering marriage and staying married. Gay and lesbian couples are scapegoats and keeping 5% of the population from getting a marriage license won't protect your families. Let's talk about what will.

Opinionated
Sandy, UT

Decreasing the wage gap will NOT help fsmilies...it will further driver parents out of the home in search of the "almighty buck". Want to fix families and raise well-balanced children? Then, Mom, stay home and teach them. Yes, I realize people will respond to my comment about keeping the women bare foot and pregnant. That is not my stance at all. It actually takes a very smart mother to raise well-balanced children. But don't abandon your children by entering the workforce.

Jeff
Temple City, CA

Both Hutterite and UtahDemocrat advocate same-gender marriage as a possible help for the reported decline in marriage.

This is an old argument used by bureaucrats for generations: When the statistics show that "something" is failing, redefine the "something." It's done in the schools all the time: when schools fail to meet their projected standards, they simply redefine the standards.

I don't buy that redefinition scheme. Redefining marriage to include same-gender marriage will not give society what it needs. In fact, it will cause more problems than it could possibly solve. True, many of those problems will not show up immediately, but when they do show up the disaster will be awful to behold.

Turtles Run
Missouri City, TX

One thing the author of this article could do to strengthen families in this country is to stop lying about families. The believe that a man and woman are the best parental pairing.

"That is, lesbian and gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive and healthy environments for their children. This body of research has shown that the adjustment, development, and psychological well-being of children are unrelated to parental sexual orientation and that the children of lesbian and gay parents are as likely as those of heterosexual parents to flourish."

A person cannot argue for strengthening families but refuse recognize all families. When all families are valued then families will become more valued.

Turtles Run
Missouri City, TX

Sponge Bob wrote: Funny how we never had to "do" anything 50 years ago to avoid these calamities that have arisen in recent years. Is it because we have forgotten God?

Fifty years ago we forced people to live as second class citizens in many parts of the nation, homosexuals were forced to live in denial of their true nature, inter-racial marriage was illegal in many states, women were forced to remain in abusive marriage due to the difficulty and social stigma associated with divorce, and religious intolerance were the rule of the day.

No, our society have greatly improved were more people are free to participate openly in society and women have greater freedom to determine the course of their lives and bodies.

Marriage should be strengthened but not by forcing bad marriages to continue and denying the rights of homosexuals.

Opinionated
Sandy, UT

RE: Turtles Run. You're wrong. Truly gay and lesbian couple are not capable of having children.

Turtles Run
Missouri City, TX

Jeff

How is same-sex marriage "redefining marriage"? Marriage has evolved throughout time and will continue to evolve. If two consenting adults wish to marry then let them It does not affect your marriage or mine. It does however provide a level of legitimacy that will strengthen families overall.

Ender
Salt Lake City, UT

@Hutterite
Demonizing religion and promoting an even bigger, more unsustainable government is simply not the right answer.

Regarding your religious "mould" comment, I can only assume you mean the predominant religious: LDS... Have you seen the "I'm a Mormon" campaign? Even I was shocked (and pleased) by the diverse representatives of the faith in the campaign.

Bigger government (e.g. single payer healthcare, increased welfare programs, cheaper education, etc.) is what got us in this debt mess to begin with! Every liberal should be required to take a basic economics course. Scarcity of resources is a principle tenet. And without some major rethinking, each of the objectives you mention costs money.

atl134
Salt Lake City, UT

@Ender
"Every liberal should be required to take a basic economics course. "

Republicans should take that course too. Then they would learn that tax cuts don't increase revenue (if they did then we could lower taxes to 0, balance the budget, pay off the deficit, and surely we'd have enough money left over to buy everyone a pony).

Big J
Bountiful, UT

Turtles Run

Last time I checked, it takes a male and a female to procreate and it is through procreation a family can be formed. Adam and Steve cannot make it happen just as Abby and Eve cannot do it either. Accept it.

The best family environment for children begins with a loving, supportive heterosexual marriage. Please let us stop kidding ourselves about this. With that said, yes it is possible to have a functional family environment with other configurations but they will never be ideal and we should do all we can to strengthen traditional marriage and families.

kargirl
Sacramento, CA

More should have been said about older people marrying. Some would gladly do so but don't, if they can't get medical care, or if the income won't be sufficient, in their view, to live on, especially depending on the place they live. But they are often overlooked since having children is not an issue and no one thinks it means that much to them any more...but I'm here to tell you, it does. And it does matter to people that they be able to marry the person they love. It does matter whether the couple raising a child loves one another, whether they are the biological parents or not, same gender, grandparents, extended family, or not. What children need is the example before them, a family. And sometimes, just mom or just dad, is all there is, and we have to not make that parent feel inadequate for doing the best he or she can with all they've got.. So let's do the best we can with what we have, and help one another in the spirit of brotherly love. Can we do that?

patriot
Cedar Hills, UT

Some suggestions for Barack on how to strengthen families...

1. Stop all federally funded abortions from Obamacare. Families are strengthened when children actually live and get to join a family - the biological or adopted family.
2. Stop gay marriage and allow a safe and healthy place for adopted children to be taught and nurtured.
3. Stop raising taxes on families making it all but impossible to make ends meet. Try cutting taxes for once.
4. Stop raising taxes on small business so people can find jobs to support their families.
5. Stop legalizing drugs such as Marijuana so that families don't die on the highway from a pot smoker who has lost touch with reality.
6. Stop trying to ban guns so that families can protect themselves from evil killers.
7. Stop borrowing trillions from China so that future Americans will actually have a future.
8. Start cutting government programs before all of America goes bankrupt. Families can't function under bankruptcy.

There are more.... but these will get you started Barack!!!

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