Bullying has always been a part of life. It comes from children, teens, and even
adults, and it's very harmful. For anyone out there who participates in any
form of bullying, please check yourself and make this lesson applicable (that is
the sadness and loss of life/David Phan).
Bullying is terrible. We all need to counteract it by being kind and taking
interest in others. And stop or at least report bullying. I'm
so sorry for the family.
The kids who bullied MUST be held accountable. No excuses of "they're
young," or "that's just the way junior high is." Children who
are bullies often grown up to be adults who are bullies, abusers, and all-around
thugs. This is where it begins, and this is where it MUST end.Find
these kids. Get them psychological help. Make them face the consequences of
their bullying. Show them the grave. Show them the grieving family. Then find
out what's going on the bullies' lives. Kids who bully often have
parents who bully them. Let's get to work on them, too!Yes,
this happens all the time, everywhere. So when do we get fed up enough to take
the drastic measures needed to stop the bullying cycle? Yes, it will
be painful. Yes, it will cost money. But isn't all of that
worth it to save a child's life?
@Mom of 8Most everybody wants bullying to stop. Be fair and
realistic with your comments though. How does this rounding up of kids and
parents start and end? I mean accusations fly. There are different degrees of
what can be seen as bullying. Yes, you are right, this idea of yours
would cost money, but a huge concern for me would be those in charge (flawed
individuals) stepping in and infringing into families' homes to counsel
kids and their parents about bullying after their kid got into some minor
scuffle with multiple sides of the story at the playground. I think
kids need to be encouraged to speak up if bullied, or if they witness someone
being bullied. If there is a definite issue there, stepping in and taking
appropriate action is needed. But as sad as these stories are (David Phan here),
we can't stop the struggles of our youth by turning our schools into a
police state. I absolutely don't want that.Mistakes are
sometimes made when suspecting bullies. Last year a teen sent a video and bully
story to the news. The other side of the story was later viewed as justified
(innocent teen hurt).
Are these bullies going to be made to be accountable? What about school
officials? Thes bullies should not be allowed in public school. They should be
fined heavily and made to spend time locked up.
A few questions: One, why did this boy have access to the gun in the house? Two,
Why did the parents, who were just sent home with the boy, allow him to return
unsupervised to school?
Such a tragedy! I'm so sorry for David's family and friends and the
grief and loss they are suffering. I hope and pray that bullying will stop and
that students will have the courage to report bullying when they are aware of it
and adults will respond and protect the victims. Let David's suffering and
sad premature death be a reminder that he did not receive the help and support
How can the school be held accountable for something that they did not know?
Schools have bullying procedures in place, but cannot deal with things they know
nothing about. This is a terrible tragedy. I would also be unwilling to hold
this family accountable for anything. To the bullies....how do you feel now?
I feel for the family. From one who was bullied alot I can only pray that
something is done to help lessen the effect of bullying so something this sad
does not happen again
Bullying exists in various forms, methods and techniques in familiy, community
and within organizations such as school. The school system, especially public
schools, are more vulnerable to bullying due to the large number of students,
parents, and teachers in a variety of settings. Students walk or ride to
school. When on the bus, bullying exists, even when there is a bus driver and
in some cases even a supervisor or aid. However, when walking in an
unsupervised condition for a mile or two, there is only personal, family or
group self-policing. However, when students go to a counselor for matters
relating to student performance and social problems, bullying should be a part
of that discussion and documented. Student performance, whether as the
perpetrator or victim, is affected by the attitude that comes from bullying.
The impact of finding the vulnerable student the perpetrator hunts for and the
vulnerable being the victim and impact of their schooling efforts is horrendous
for them and their families.School districts need to read between
the line with students that come in to a counselor, teacher and administrator
about problems. Students knew about this student being bullied. His life and
schooling impacted severely.
I don't know that any of my children were bullies, although they
encountered bullies. It is a sad story.
@catcrazedDoes anyone really know if the school knew of the
bullying? All we have is their statement to that but it isn't always the
truth. I have a friend in FL who reported the bullying of his son to
administrators several times and they did nothing. Finally, he told the
principal that if the bullying continued then he was going to allow his son to
defend himself. Of course the bullying didn't stop so his son punched the
kid and that ended the bullying. However, the principal then suspended my
friend's son for three days for fighting. This after they were repeatedly
told that there was a problem and they didn't put a stop to it, so he took
care of it himself. He ended up being the one administratively punished and all
the bully got was a bloody nose. That is ridiculous and more needs to be done by
administrators early on in the process.
I think both sides are well expressed here.I saw alot of bullying in Jr
High in a small eastern Utah town.Lots of the guys were rough and tough
farm boys with the typical bully attitudes.I hated it when they would push
me around or taunt me, but the thought of taking my life never crossed my
mind.So another question is where the notion of suicide comes from in this
generation.Especially in this case where this boy seemed to have a large
loving and supportive family.All questions for people who understand
today's youth better than I.But putting all of the liability on
the schools is a dangerous reaction and will not solve the problem.God bless this family.
DN you should have not shown those pictures on paper which was very persnonal to
them. So sorry that they have to go through this."The best
safety and security system we have is the eyes and ears of our students,"
You really think any kids would text or go to the office of what they witness?
They FEAR to become a victim. Bully will continue to young kids AND
ADULTS as well. Sorry to say this which is true.
I wonder if it might help if students were trained that when they witness
bullying they should report it to administration, and that those students would
have no fear of getting in trouble or any kind of retaliation. It seems that the
one who is bullied doesn't always speak up. I know when I was bullied, I
didn't tell anyone out of fear and embarassment. And, of course, we know
the bullies themselves won't turn themselves in. Teach kids to stick up for
their fellow students. And, if it could work, it would be great to create a
buddy system for kids that have been identified as being bullied, so that others
could watch out for them. I'm not saying like the movie "My
Bodyguard", but why can't we enlist others kids to help?
There are still plenty of great kids around. But a society of children that are
all about entertainment, entitlement and self-indulgence is much less likely to
get involved when they see bullying. Kids need to be better educated and given
safety plans on how to deal with it. It is true that kids will be kids however
we need to distinguish between what are sometimes very serious issues.
Junior High School is a tough time.I was bullied.Most of my
fellow "geek" friends were bullied too.One day, of them
finally shot himself with his dad's hunting rifle, so this story has
personal meaning to me.The truth is there really isn't much a
victim can do.Hopelessness can lead to acts of despairation.My
Dad told me to "stick up" for myself.That didn't work, I just
got in trouble for fighting.Teachers wouldn't do anything.Pricipals only looked out for the popular kids.BTW- I was a
White Mormon kid.I can't even imagine being "different" in
ignorant hickville Kearns.[Like a sad Little House on the Prarie
episode].I can only hope, little David did it in front of his
"Bullies" so they can live with it the rest of their lives.
I just want to say I work in Jr. High and see bulling going on alot. Part of the
problem I see is often times students will not tell people in authority they are
being bullied. They are to afraid of the retailiation that will happen if they
do tell. They also don't want to be looked at as a tattle tail, which would
bring on more problems. If bulling is to be stop in our schools, the punishment
that goes along with the act of bulling should be much more strict. Students
today who bully others do not respect nor fear those in authority because the
consiqueses for their actions have know teeth. Its like a slap on the wrist and
that is it. In my opion when a student is found bulling they should be
susppended for a week and not allowed back in school until they write a 500 word
essay on why it is bad to bully others. And lastly appolgize to the individual
for what he or she said or did in front of every one that was present during the
incident. If it happened again the the student is expelled. No tollerance
Bullies should be named as is done in most countries. I realize kids make
mistakes but at what point should the kids that continue down this path be
allowed to be protected as kids? Parents of these kids (that bully)
need to be more involved in their kids' lives.I feel horrible
for the family of this boy and his friends as well. This is so tragic.
Everyone keeps saying it was bullying. I wonder if it wasn't sexual
harassment. Sexual harassment is a federal crime and if it was harassment then
the student perpetrators, the school, and the school district are going to have
a lot more questions to answer than if it was merely "bullying."
If someone committs suicide as a direct result of bullying, could those
responsible for the bullying be charged with manslaughter?
As a father of a bullied child, I feel saddened by this tragedy and my prayers
go out to the family.What makes this more sad is that this happens
in LDS neighborhoods. You might ask why this matters at all. If people want to
see change, children need to be taught that not participating in the bullying is
not good enough, the bullied child needs a place of refuge. All of our
children, but especially LDS children who have been taught these principles need
to step up and create that refuge. Will they have to sacrifice some of their
own social equity, maybe; but isn't that what following Christ and starting
your mission prep even earlier is all about-- do unto others as I have done unto
you -- love one another as I have loved you. I wish some of the other youth in
my sons ward would have done that for him. I loved that story about the
football player in Arizona helping the bullied special needs girl. If that
spirit really caught on here we would see great change. It wouldn't all go
away, but what a difference it would make.
Schools should and are doing more to stop bullying. There was an article just
last week in the trib about a nationally recognized program that shows great
results being implemented in Utahs schools. With that said, schools only show
us a reflection of our society as a whole. Families must be willing to accept
their fair share of the responsibility. How many parents really have a
relationship with their child where they really know their child. What's
his/her fears, thoughts, dreams, etc are?. Most parents are so busy providing
the ever growing list of materials needs and wants they forget about the
emotional. The consequence is a school full of frustrated young people looking
for acceptance and intimacy. Those striking out physically are as troubled as
those receiving the bullying. Many Youth today lack the seciurity of a solid
emotional foundation that is required for healthy coping skills. In addition,
bullying is now defined as everything from Billy didn't want to play with
me today to Billy hit me again today. It's time parents refocused their
priorities. Be the change in your child's life your hoping for!
@JimYou asked - "If someone committs suicide as a direct result
of bullying, could those responsible for the bullying be charged with
manslaughter?"Depends on the background of the kid who committed
suicide is gay. Remember Tyler Clementi, the gay student at Rutgers who
committed suicide about two years ago? Several students were charged with a wide
variety of crimes, including hate crimes, due to his suicide. But
trust me, if Clementi had been a straight student and the exact same thing
happened, no one would have been charged and no one would have even known his
name. The fact of the matter is, schools, universities, the press
and Hollywood have made it more than quite clear that certain kids are not to
ever, ever be bullied, while others kids deserve to be bullied.
@ jeffallen786 "Everyone keeps saying it was bullying. I wonder if it
wasn't sexual harassment. Sexual harassment is a federal crime and if it
was harassment then the student perpetrators, the school, and the school
district are going to have a lot more questions to answer than if it was merely
"bullying."I know of a young sexual predator who is
suspected by her three therapists and adoptive parent of being a sociopath,who
has no fear of punishment and no feeling of right and wrong, and yet nothing can
be done about her until she is "caught again" by someone other than
family members. Why is this?? It is feared that her sexual assaults continue on
those within her influence, as she cannot be monitored 24 hours a day. If this
kind of extreme social illness is known by adults and DHS and yet those
vulnerable to her are not able to be protected, how can we expect
"bullying" to be dealt with??
The children who bullied this young man are not better than vicious, predatory
animals.And for the gentleman who said the rules are different when
the victim is gay, you have no idea what you are talking about. It is NEVER
I am a retired high school teacher. Most of my students were great, but with the
minority of kids, I saw backtalk, lying, cheating, etc. Bullying upset me the
most of the negative behaviors with which I dealt. Unfortunately, my meager
attempts to "talk" to the bully-er resulted in him/her turning his
bullying to me. I could handle that, but weaker students cannot. I hope that
theGraniteSchool District implements some serious strategies to let students
know bullying is not ok and that the consequences will be severe and swift. We
cannot afford to lose one more student to suicide.
@news.john2The bully factor is not an issue for kids relative to
being LDS or not. It happens everywhere and it is as disgusting rather one is
LSD or not. If you suggest talking about it in church then that is a discussion
in your circle I guess, but acting like bullying that exists in LDS
neighborhoods is anymore of an issue within one faith or another is a slippery
slope. Tread lightly.