Comments about ‘Dress controversy: Girls turned away from homecoming dance’

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Published: Monday, Oct. 1 2012 6:08 p.m. MDT

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No One Of Consequence
West Jordan, UT

I believe modesty is important but standards need to be applied fairly. If they are going to be strict in enforcement there needs to be a pre-approval event in the gym a week or so before the dance. A snapshot of the approved outfit would protect against anyone switching to a less appropriate outfit just because their name is on the list.

Makes me wonder where the boys are in all this. Any standards they have to live up to?

Truthseeker
SLO, CA

Perhaps the next dance theme should be "Pioneer Day" so all the girls will come wearing prairie dresses and bonnets.

The dresses looked fine.

Lighten up people.

Shaun
Sandy, UT

None of those dresses were inappropriate.

BYU Track Star
Los Angeles, CA

Its nice that the religious (school) police are out in force in Tooele. Burkas anyone?

MormonDem
Provo, UT

Presumably they enforced these draconian rules to discourage teen promiscuity? Which begs the question: if these supposedly scantily-clad teens were turned away from a chaperoned school dance, where did they go and what did they do when they got there?

Winglish
Lehi, UT

High school teacher here- These girls look lovely and it is a crying shame that someone turned them away. The administrator in this situation should be ashamed of what happened on his watch. Unbelievable.

UNLV
HENDERSON, NV

Umm... really? I am an LDS father of two daughters, and even I think this was ridiculous. Lighten up, folks.

Brave Sir Robin
San Diego, CA

@BYU Track Star

Your comment is more than a little ironic considering you're a BYU fan.

From Ted's Head
Orem, UT

Isn't is nice that one us arm chair quarterbacks can opine that "them thar dresses is ok" or something along that line. Well, Golly Gomer! They need you at that edumacation facility. Imagine...in just a minute you were able to determine what the teachers couldn't. You are such the expert!

Come on. The story is about miscommunication and power, not naked knees. Why not just let the children decide what to wear on their own? And who needs chaperones? These teens always make prudent decisions. Alcohol? Hey if it was good enough for Jesus then why not at the school dance? Lighten up folks!

What? Oh...you DO understand the need for rules and standards when dealing with teens that teachers see 180 days out of the year and for more time than most of their parents see them. Every year this story plays out somewhere that this or that girl wasn't allowed into the dance because of her choice in a dress. To the degree that the school poorly applied their own standards an apology was issued. But there is no need to apologize for the existence of standards.

A voice of Reason
Salt Lake City, UT

The less modest the clothing, the more tempting sexual desires are for males. This is a fact. The fashion industry makes a living off this fact so I do not feel the need to dispute or argue it with anyone on here. People who think dangling meat in front of a lion is perfectly safe are in NO way ignorant. They are in denial! And when that denial gets bitten those who dangle are just as accountable as those who wanted the meat to begin with. Think I'm horrible for comparing women to meat? I'm doing to argue for their protection while others voicing their beliefs online do it for humor, reality, and to further their own justifications to feed their desires.

The truth is, it is inappropriate and risky business and the entirety of the human race (meaning everyone with a sex drive) knows this to be true.

Ridicule the modest and call them pioneers all you want, but upright LDS High School males still know that dresses which 'technically cover up' can still be immodest . Those who mock moral standards are defending what helps to ruin lives. That isn't overly harsh, it's reality.

KJB1
Eugene, OR

"The less modest the clothing, the more tempting sexual desires are for males." That's right, Voice. Why should men take responsibility for their own feelings and actions? Blame the women instead, with their shoulder and knees showing...

Want to know why the rest of the country thinks Utah is a punchline? Look no further.

Hutterite
American Fork, UT

Wow. A new low, and we're not talking hemline here. I hope some of these young people get this stuff online nation wide. We're hyping all the good things associated with this state these days; let's not forget the utahliban. The world needs to know about them, too, and what motivates them.

A voice of Reason
Salt Lake City, UT

KJB1,

Perhaps the country things Oregon is trendy, hip, appealing, or down to Earth. Maybe the popular opinion of the rest of this country and all your peers matters to you. There are more truthful and uplifting things that matter more to me.

I will clarify something, but primarily for the sake of anyone else who may read my comment, not to argue it with you.

I've never said that women control men's actions, nor was it implied in my statement. You inferred your own idea into my statement. Women have full control over what they wear and adorn their body with. Men make their own choices. But both can contribute to cause and effect. Denial of this is irrational. Otherwise, you would be justified putting your children in a lion's cage SOLELY based on being able to blame the lion and not yourself.

No amount of social beliefs, trends, peer pressure, or perversion will negate the truth. I am a man. I have very real experience regarding how clothing can attract males. No other opinions or personal backgrounds lacking such experiences will ever negate my own experience. I have spoken the truth.

-with respect

Wonder
Provo, UT

@A Voice of Reason -- Yes, and that's the reason that women are required to wear burquas in some countries. At what point do we say that the responsibility is the boy's not to attack (your analogy is a lion going after meat) a woman because she's showing her knees. Should we require girls to wear dresses to their ankles because a boy may be tempted by a calf? I am all for dress standards at dances, but at a public high school, the standards do not need to be For the Strength of Youth standards. Those dresses shouldn't (and honestly most likely wouldn't) overly excite any boy and if they do, I can't imagine what that poor young man does when he goes to a swimming pool (or for that matter, walks down the street). Boys need to be held responsible for their own behavior and not treated as if they are helpless.

Caprice
PROVIDENCE, UT

From the pictures I have seen, I do not think any of the dresses appear too short or immodest. It would be different if they showed the girls' panties as they walked away from you. I honestly think this situation is far too extreme. I am actually pleased that shorter dresses are appropriate for school dances because they are a great deal less expensive. I do approve, however, of having a modest dress standard that is fairly enforced. Perhaps a pre-screening would be helpful. Above all, a written statement of the dress code to be followed needs to be sent to every parent so that their daughters are not put through this unnecessary humiliation. I personally think that a dress that is three inches or less above or the top of the knee is about right.

Meckofahess
Salt Lake City, UT

Modest standards for a dance in a public school is what I would expect from the administration (as a parent). That said, a standard that says "near the knee" is clearly too vague. I think the Principle at the high school is trying to improve the process and is handling it in a reasonable fashion. Everyone is learning something from the experience to help make the future better. Anyone who has ever made a mistake, hopefully has learned something from it and will try to not repeat the mistake going forward. Lets move on!

A voice of Reason
Salt Lake City, UT

Wonder,

I already clarified (more than amicably) that I was not blaming young women for actions of young men.

Although it still remains true that adorning yourself in certain attire is still not appropriate or justified by social acceptance. All I'm saying is that young women SHOULDN'T ENCOURAGE such attraction by feeding it. If you can't even give the very basic amount of credit that my statement deserves then your own argument (as was KJB1s) is logically fallacious and a 'straw-man' argument.

By your argument we should also adopt the trends. Were those dresses appropriate by the standards of modesty society accepted 100 years ago? No. Does that mean that modesty changed all the sudden? Again, a clear and definite 'No'. If we allow 'above the knee' then it will only rise further (and already has really).

'Above the knee' isn't unreasonable or overly harsh. Only those who are guilty of accepting what is immoral right find the truth to be hard. The truth is that priesthood authorities (and the spirit also) speak to everyone, not just LDS youth.

The only way to challenge a standard of modesty is by having a lower one.

Hutterite
American Fork, UT

I guess my first post was too long. Anyway, it's time to punt the vice and virtue police and claim the freedom we put lip service to.

rmk
South Jordan, UT

They could wear any of these dresses to church and nobody would say anything. The school officials should be ashamed

sportsfan21
OREM, UT

At first I was sympathetic toward the girls who were turned away. Then I read the dress code. It says "at or near the knee," which seems subjective until you read the next line. "Slits should be no higher than the top of the knee." I think it's pretty obvious that since slits shouldn't be above the top of the knee, the length of any dress shouldn't either. I'm not saying they were immodest and I would probably support a change to the dress code, but it's not like this snuck up on anyone.

They could have saved themselves the heartache if they had simply read and followed the rules rather than assume they wouldn't be enforced.

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