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Comments about ‘Can women 'have it all' when it comes to work and family life?’

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Published: Monday, June 25 2012 6:29 p.m. MDT

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JeffE
Grantsville, UT

I am a father of six, and am the sole income provider for our family. I agree that the discussion should be around both fathers and mothers. I've had to make some very difficult decisions with my career path.

I've turned down opportunities to get on the "fast track" because I've seen firsthand the stress and wrecked families that most business executives have. I was not willing to disproportionately sacrifice time with family to further my career, so family choices have limited my career as well. Women don't and shouldn't have a monopoly on this issue!

Trying to "have it all" is a stress inducing myth. You must prioritize and make sacrifices. Anyone who feels like they can go through life without sacrificing anything is delusional. I have sacrificed career opportunities, but feel very happy with where we are as a family. The opportunity cost of the missed income is more than offset by the benefits of focusing on my family, where life really happens!

jeanie
orem, UT

My husband also gave up opportunities in his career to be an involved father of our 5 kids. Instead of ambitiously climbing the corporate ladder where his career began, a few years ago he was hired as a physics teacher at our kid's high school. He had to come to a peace that striving to "have it all" really took away from "all that matters". He loves his job now, loves his summers off to be with the family and while we have a smaller income we are so much happier.

ps One son was nervous to have his dad teach at his high school at first but quickly discovered that the students really liked his dad. He said having him there improved his social life and let him come to know his dad better than he ever would of had my husband stayed in his former career.

utahboni
Ogden, UT

In many cultures, a boy of 14 is considered a man. They choose their career and enter into an apprenticeship program. The young man in this story pitched a fit because he missed his mommy. I think the greater problem exposed here is that our young people are not being taught to contribute to the success of their families and thus to the success of society. My mother has always suffered from recurring episodes of mental illness. When I was 12, she was in the hospital. I took over most of the household chores simply because it needed to be done and I could do it. No one told me to or even asked me to. The most competent, mature boy in my graduating class took over managing his household at 14 when his father died.
Even though it is difficult to live in our current economy without both parents working, we are expected to spend more time catering to our children than any other generation. Sacrificing your life for your children, however, does not make them strong, responsible adults. It's why they're still living in your basement when they're in their 20's.

Kitenoa
Salt Lake City, UT

So what is new? Some women and men take a longer path to be convinced that "you cannot have it all" at the same time. There has to be an honest healthy dynamic balance between career and family life; lots of unexpected "gives and takes" to keep moving forward... living life.

SLC gal
Salt Lake City, UT

Finally, SOMEONE gets that getting to be a stay at home parent is about more than committment!!!! (I can commit to stay home all I want but that isnt going to increase my husbands paycheck or lower the expenses of living an already extremely modest lifestyle. My pay is still needed).

For the longest time that has been a major craw for me vs. the stay at home moms (and even some men)who say "oh, you cut this and sacrafice that, and you can do it". NOT always the case, and I want to give a standing ovation to the woman who wrote the original article (no offense to Lois, I alwasy love reading her stuff).

county mom
Monroe, UT

No one can have it all. We all have to make choices. The struggle to balance providing food, shelter and clothing verses, providing love, support, and constant care have been a struggle since there have been people on the earth. This is one of the reasons children need two parents.
It is up to each family what they do to meet the needs of their family. There is no absolutes in this, no blanket solutions and no way to do or have it all.

Kami
Bountiful, Utah

What does "having it all" really mean anyway? Can you be happy in your life, no matter what choices you need to make? Of course! Can you raise happy and productive children no matter what choices you need to make? Of course! Considering that more than 50% of the nation's children are living in single parent homes, I'd say either gender can "have it all" so long as they are careful about their priorities and recognizing that sometimes priorities need to be shifted around a bit (and that happens to anyone from time to time).

cjb
Bountiful, UT

‘Can women 'have it all' when it comes to work and family life?’

Nobody (in this world at least) can have it all. Thats what choices are about and life is a series of choices.

Howard Beal
Provo, UT

Maybe the women can have it all, but what about the children?

Gildas
LOGAN, UT

If women have it all then the rest of us are left with nothing.

Hank Pym
SLC, UT

How pertinet is the allegory of Icarus here?

John C. C.
Payson, UT

Modern society has made two fundamental errors. The first is the fault of men and our pride for not properly respecting and supporting women in their traditional roles. The second was when women unfortunately took their cue from us and began to abandon those roles that we failed to honor. They sought the power we men abused. Now who's building the nation?

There is a reason for traditional gender roles. We are certainly rich enough to give up our supposed modern necessities in return for allowing our next generation be nurtured most by those who do it best--their own mothers. Our dividend in future social stability, intelligence and productivity will justify the investment.

Lasvegaspam
Henderson, NV

The phrase "Having It All" reminds me of the phrase "The Middle Class". Nobody can really accurately define either, which is why both are the subject of endless debate.

raybies
Layton, UT

Amazing. I could sum up the story this way.

Highly educated woman declares children require a time commitment.

Does that really need saying? Kinda sad that this is a "discovery".

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