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The number 1 way to gain and keep happiness is when we...
Realize that happiness depends on no one except the one in the mirror. Your spouse, or ex-spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, child nor anyone, INCLUDING GOD, can't make you happy. Only YOU have the power to decide to be happy.
I've heard that many many times, yet I can't come to agree with it. It's true to a point, if you decide to be unhappy you're generally going to be unhappy. But sometimes there are things in life that just make it impossible to be happy, note the part on grieving. God can indeed make you happy, but you have to let him. This is probably where that statement comes from. I don't think it's that you have to decide to be happy as much as it is you have to let outside influences help you be happy. Prayer and scriptures are essential. Follow him and you will know joy. Being close to him is the only thing keeping me going at the moment anyhoo.
I've always thought of happiness as similar to a thermostat. Some of us have our settings higher than others. If we set ourselves for happiness, then when the storms of life hit, our "home" doesn't become as "cold/unhappy" as when we set ourselves for unhappiness. Yes, things in life can definitely affect our happiness level, but we have a lot of power to overcomes what life throws at us...especially if we focus on our relationship with God.
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