Comments about ‘Fathers' rights in custody, adoption get lawmakers' focus’

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Published: Monday, Feb. 20 2012 6:18 p.m. MST

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Oatmeal
Woods Cross, UT

It's an issue that needs to be addressed. Utah men have been taking hits in divorce and custody proceedings for far too long.

Sqweebie
Salt Lake City, UT

I'm a step-parent adopted person. My birthfather knew of me and because he and my mom weren't married when stepdad adopted me he had no rights. He was however on the sidelines watching me grow up and when I was 18 I learned my somewhat true identity.

On the matter of letting the other parent know when the custodial parent is planning to move out of state or more than 75 miles away there is at least one state that I know that does this. My friend was made to wait a year before moving with the children to another state which meant putting off schooling. But you know what I agree with this to have to have the other parents okay with the move and waiting period.

The adoption laws have got to change. A new mom's body is still raging with a hormonal over load after giving birth even 24 hours later and should be allowed to wait at least a week and when possible given the opportunity to "mother' the child. Also the persons who are hoping to adopt the child should not be in the labor/delivery room. This is a form of coercion. The new mom needs to have that private time with HER child. It makes the adopters look greedy and it pressures the mom into giving the child away.

Gemma, UK
Leighton Buzzard, UK

Lawmakers won't get this right until they stop thinking of rights of the parents and think wholly in terms of the rights of the child. Children are not a right, they are a responsibility, and access to children is not a right, it is a privilege. As Durtschi said - children thrive best with happily married parents but if that fails the default situation shold be that the children have the right be shared and cared for by both parents equally. But the children's rights to a safe and enriching upbringing might sometimes mean access to one parent has to be curtailed. Thinking in terms of the children's rights would have helped the poor little car crash victim who certainly had the right to reside with the drug-free parent.

TheWalker
Saratoga Springs, UT

I spent 5 years and $30,000 to get custody of my three children, something my ex did in a day for free. Although I eventually did get custody, the damage had been done and now two of those children are addicted to drugs and alcohol.

The discrimination that men receive in divorce court is horrific. We have our children, our homes, and our income taken by the state, and no one seems to be concerned about our rights as parents and citizens.

raybies
Layton, UT

I have a hard time believing that a man who fathers a child out of wedlock should have any sort of special privileges. But I agree that children of parents of divorce often end up with the wrong parents more because of gender bias than for any fault of the father.

Honest Abe
Salt Lake City, UT

A few years ago when my brother was going through a terrible divorce after his wife was having an adulterous relationship with another man, an LDS social worker told him, do not expect to get custody of your childrenI have seen drug users and even prostitutes get custody of children in this state because they happen to be their mothers.
My brother had lived out of state for a time, and had his divorce taken place out of state, he would have had a much easier time getting complete custody of his children. Instead, here in Utah he has custody of his children every weekend. He pays his adulterous wife a thousand dollars a month, who has now lived with three different men including her first affair which has been within the span of about five years. She is supported by a myriad of support groups. Including the support of her childrens educators who by policy only send her the information relating to their childrens education, including back to school nights, progress notes, etc.

Honest Abe
Salt Lake City, UT

My brothers wife, without any penalty, and at her own discretion, can (and did) generate an audit which withholds payment from an employer even when my brother has never ever missed a payment for child support. It is embarrassing to him, because it makes him look like a dead-beat dad to his employers.
My brother is the ideal parent. Not once did he ever abandon his wife or children.

After my brothers experience, I once wrote the attorney generals office about this problem. Their office responded, basically saying we cant do anything, but contact your state representatives. We need to address these perpetual flaws in our child custody laws and protect families. I hope we will support that needed change.

POD
Salt Lake City, UT

âI have a hard time believing that a man who fathers a child out of wedlock should have any sort of special privilegesâ You have no trouble, however, giving special privileges to a woman who has a child out of wedlock. Your comment represents the exact discrimination being discussed.

That the Judiciary of the State of Utah has permitted this to continue, along with its programmed tables and built-in discrimination, is an even bigger scandal. The D-News should look into exactly how this was created and why.

Rifleman
Salt Lake City, Utah

My sympathies are with young children who are used as pawns in the power struggle between their parents. They get jerked around from one home to another which makes it tough if they want to spend a fun afternoon with their friends.

In order to make themselves feel better adults have coined the phrase "quality time" ..... which it usually isn't.

Sqweebie
Salt Lake City, UT

Honest Abe- my brother was raising his kids and his ex was getting child support from him every week as the state he lived in was garnishing his pay. He told the state the kids were living with him, had the proof and he still got taken to the cleaners. His ex refused to sign the divorce papers until the kids were grown.

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