I read through a hundred or so posts once, recently, on a debate over whether
"the kids" or your spouse was most important in a marriage. The popular
"wisdom" was that "the kids" were and no two ways about it. I
felt that was a great shame.That was not a Church discussion, yet I
find the same immediate response seems to prevail there too - and it shows. In
one class at Church, on the subject of creating solid families, I ventured to
say that we might profitably dismiss the attitude of "the kids are the most
important thing in our marriage" (a view so entrenched that it typically
meets with immediate "mmm-hmm's" and "Absolutelies"). They
might have been surprised if they had realized I was quoting from Spencer W
Kimball, but instead my comments got the cold shoulder. Ah well!! One day soon
I hope that they realize that their children will be more blessed if Mom and Dad
would love one another first. It would, I should think, quickly enliven a few
dying relationships in our congregation and raise the happiness quotient a
@Mainly MeThere's so much wrong here on so many levels.When your wife met you, before she could learn to love your humor, wit,
intelligence, or intellect, she needed a reason to start a conversation in the
first place. It was probably because she liked the way you looked.It is not the "wisdom of the world" to admit that it's OK to be
physically attracted to someone. To say that it is, is in direct contradiction
to what has been said by prophets for over a hundred years.Oh, and
that "physical covering" of hers that apparently you don't care one
way or another about, is a gift from God. Like all gifts from God, there is
wisdom in caring for it.
It is so sad to read the comments above. I have been married to my wonderful
husband for almost 21 years. I believe that a good marriage takes both parties
giving it 100%. Neither my self or my husband look like we did when we were
first married, but I love my husband more now than ever. I feel that he is my
perfect mate in every way. I believe the best way to keep a marriage going
strong is through intimacy, and not just the physical type. When our kids were
little, we would put them to bed and have our dates at home just talking about
life, and spending precious time together. Now that our family is growing up, I
love spending time with just the two of us. My mom, who also has a great
marriage gave me the best piece of advice when she said that kids will come and
go, but you will have your spouse forever. If you treat your spouse like your
greatest possession, and the both of you treat each other the same way, your
marriage will always be strong.
@Mr. Bean"How? Stay feminine, sexy, and in good physical
shape."Sorry, but this is so wrong on so many levels. This is
spouting nothing more than wisdom of the world. I didn't marry my wife for
her to look "sexy" or be "in good physical shape." I married my wife because of who she is inside, not because of the physical
covering of what she is.
OK, so -- Men need to keep "dating" their wives, Got it.However-- it goes both ways.Where is the quip about Women needing
to keep being kind, sweet, dolling up once in awhile, and biding their
tongues?Quite frankly, If my wife treated me when we were
dating like she does now...we never would've gotta past the 3rd
date.Sincerely, 29 married years later - and enduring
'til the end.
Try this cure: AM instead of PM.
@Shane333:"And while I think Mr. Bean was being too heavy handed in
how he said it..."I'm a man of few words. Sometimes it
gets me in trouble. But, I think I spoke the truth. And you're right,
guys also must keep themselves in shape for their ladies.
I'll try to summarize the article: Keep dating and courting each other.This IS very important.One specific problem is when physical
intimacy is pushed to the back burner and falls by the wayside. Make it a
priority, on a fairly regular basis. When the physical intimacy declines the
emotional attachment tends to dissipate with it.Men, tell your wife
that you love her. Write her a note. Bring her flowers. Try something
creative now and then to show her that you're still courting her. If she
is feeling neglected emotionally it could accelerate the decline of the physical
intimacy.And while I think Mr. Bean was being too heavy handed in
how he said it, when either a man or a woman stops trying to take care of
themselves, it manifests a lack of courtesy and care for the partner.
Doesn't mean joining cross-fit or running marathons. It's just good
courtesy to make a decent effort.
How? Stay feminine, sexy, and in good physical shape.Sometimes
females will let their feminine physical appearance go to pot after having
children. Probably because they think sex is a thing of the past.