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Comments about ‘2 charged in Fla. after bullied girl's suicide’

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Published: Wednesday, Oct. 16 2013 12:00 a.m. MDT

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Red
San Antonia, TX

We have a miley cyress generation of haters out there.

Can everyone please stop the hate and start finding the good in everyone.

So sad to see this happen.

gmlewis
Houston, TX

Lots of kids have been bullied through the centuries. Bullying was rampant in my young years (1950's and 1960's), but we just endured the misery and hoped for eventual relief.

Only a small percentage commit suicide, but this number seems to be rising over the last few years. Could this be because we are giving our kids the message that they cannot survive low self-esteem? This could easily be the message we give when we insist that "everyone must be a winner."

If so, then when kids become hopeless of any improvement from their low self-esteem, they give up on life. We should put our best efforts to curtail bullying, but we also need to "immunize" our children against this emotional trap when it does occur. Somehow, we need to convey the message that it is okay to have low self-esteem; this too shall pass.

GZE
SALT LAKE CITY, UT

It's okay to have low self esteem?

That is an oxymoron. You need to be able to accept yourself (esteem yourself) in order to decide it's okay to be different (or think you're different).

JMHO
Southern, UT

To gmlewis: The bullying is different now because the kids can't or won't get away from the bully. With technology, someone can bully from miles away. Schools used to be able to separate bullies from the students they bullied and it worked ok (not great). Now most of the bullying happens outside the school, outside the home and in the cyber world.

Mom of 8
Hyrum, UT

gmlewis,

I'm afraid we have here a case of "Back in MY day we were so much better . . ." I was a kid in the 70s, and some bullying I endured still has left some lasting scars. Today's bullying? Ramp it up by a factor of 10. Maybe your bullying wasn't so bad, or not to the extreme levels children can inflict and endure now.

We simply can't compare the good old days to today. Everything is different, harder, and tougher. What my kids have to sift through is nothing any of us had to deal with.

Be grateful your life was easier, then be helpful to the rising generation who's facing nothing like you did.

gmlewis
Houston, TX

Well, my comment is taking a beating. I was told that "surviving low-esteem" is an oxymoron, which precisely proves my point. If children think that they can't survive humiliating experiences, they are going to give up on life when hugely humiliating experiences occur.

I concur that the impact of humiliation is greatly amplified by social media. However, we must teach our children that humiliation, for whatever cause, is not worth dying for. Give them hope that this can be endured, and resolved with time. I'm suggesting that parents and teachers address this with children proactively.

We must be proactive, because despite our best efforts, some bullying will occur. If we've taught our children to prepare mentally for it when it occurs, they will have something to support them through the ordeal.

Nan BW
ELder, CO

I attended a school of rampant bullying of all kinds, but when I left school, I went home to a ranch where we had no tv, and certainly no chance of cyber-bullying. I knew that when I went home, I had my horses, cats and all sorts of wonderful outdoor experiences. I looked forward to those hours and that made the horrors at school seem less personally invasive. Also, I knew I was not alone. I think my grandchildren are in an entirely different world, and I pray for their strength and endurance all the time. I also try to be there if they want to text, email or go on an outing. Still, I worry a lot because I have be a substitute in schools where bullying was frightening beyond description, and I didn't know what was going on at home in the social media. I feel terrible for people of any age who are bullied and abused. We all need to do more to address this problem that belongs to all of us.

SS
MiddleofNowhere, Utah

@dwayne, did you read the article? Her mother began homeschooling her and eventually placed her in another school. There is only so much you can do. The problem was the cyber bullying. And being a bully for arresting the girls? Please . . .

@gmlewis, I totally agree with you and I have grown up in this technological generation. Simply put, kids are not taught that they can do hard things. Everything is handed to them and everyone is given trophies and everyone is the best. They don't realize that they can overcome bullying and rise above hardship and become something better. They think that "if this person thinks this way about me it must be true, and it's not going to get any better, so I may as well end it." That said, I believe it is the responsibility of parents to instill in their children a sense of resilience against the world. They should build up their self-esteem, but it shouldn't always be by making everything easy and telling them how great they are. It should be by pushing them and helping them realize their potential.

Archie1954
Vancouver, BC

The trailer park and the barking Pit Bull caught my attention. The neighbours comments about lack of supervision also. Why is it so difficult for parents to understand that they have a duty and responsibility to their children and to their community, to bring up good kids as a credit to their school, their city, their state and their country?

idablu
Idaho Falls, ID

Dwayne
I think your sentiment is part of the problem--"no one should have to

GreatScot
Eagle Mountain, UT

If we start with "let's blame the parents" then the next step is "let's blame the school and the teachers" for failing to intervene. Then we can "blame the police" for not acting soon enough. I'm sure we can blame Congress if we think about it long enough.

If the two girls committed a crime, keeping in mind that almost all children bully at some point - just ask any teacher - then maybe an intervention by the police is warranted. But remember they are age 12 and 14. Do we want the cops involved every time our children call someone a name at school? Or is it only a crime if someone commits suicide as a result?

Are we going to have the police prosecute only select cases? Based on what criteria?

idablu
Idaho Falls, ID

Let's try that again
Dwayne
I think your sentiment is part of the problem. No one should be responsible except the kid who committed suicide? Really?!
This unrepentant bully is a bad kid, period. She should suffer the consequences of her actions. It cost a life. And if her parents knew she was bullying a weaker kid, then yes, they too should be held responsible. That's not bullying. That is justice.

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