Comments about ‘My view: Same-sex marriage is not inevitable’

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Published: Tuesday, Sept. 3 2013 12:00 a.m. MDT

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atl134
Salt Lake City, UT

" If I am able to convey a message that softens even one heart towards the benefits and blessings of family life"

Uh... people seeking same-sex marriages ARE looking for the benefits and blessings of family life so get out of the way.

OHBU
Columbus, OH

I find it funny that these people are so concerned about the children, but fail to fight causes that have actually been demonstrated to have a negative impact on children: child abuse, poor sex education leading to unwanted pregnancies and single parents, skyrocketing divorce rates, etc. No, they're going to fight gay marriage. If you don't like it, blame the straight parents--they're the ones having all the gay children!

By the way, it is absolutely an inevitability. An ever-larger portion of the population, especially amongst the youth, have recognized that such discrimination is unconstitutional. While they may not believe it is right, they recognize it is not their place to legislate their beliefs on others.

Blue
Salt Lake City, UT

"If I am able to convey a message that softens even one heart towards the benefits and blessings of family life..."

Ms. Roylance, that is the argument _for_ marriage equality.

Maudine
SLC, UT

This is the exact same story that ran five days ago.

There is no body of evidence that supports heterosexual parents over homosexual parents. There are some studies (the Australian one, for instance) that indicate children raised by same-sex parents actually excel over children raised by heterosexual parents in some areas, are even with them in other areas, and fall behind them in no areas.

What every study does show is that children do better with committed - preferably married - parents who are involved, regardless of the genders of those parents.

No one has ever been able to provide a legally acceptable reason for prohibiting same-sex marriage nor for denying children being raised by same-sex parents the benefits of married parents.

This article was specious on August 29th and, since nothing has changed, it is specious today.

Hutterite
American Fork, UT

It's not inevitable but it's a good idea who's time has come. So let's make it inevitable.

happy2bhere
clearfield, UT

Thinking about same sex marriage I came to the realization that the successes for the same sex crowd are coming at a time in American life when marriage itself is becoming less and less important in general. Ironic that so many opposite sex couples are just forgoing marriage and living together and doing the domestic partnership thing while the same sex crowd is so anxious to get married. What a mixed up country we are living in. Signs of the times I guess.

Susan Roylance

First, let my qualify what I am about to say by acknowledging that a good homosexual parent is usually better than a bad heterosexual parent, married or unmarried. Additionally, a good homosexual parent is undoubtedly better than no parent.

I know of a young gay man who accepted a boy from an orphanage in the Ukraine (I’m not sure if it was an official U.S. adoption). The orphanage was definitely a bad place for the boy, and his opportunities and care will be much better with a caring parent in America. This young man’s mother has assumed the female role, to help this boy grow up with both a man and a woman in his life, and the opportunity to know a good mother.

But, both of these examples are exceptions to the better rule, in my opinion. Without going into specific studies, I generally believe children have a greater opportunity to thrive in a home with a married mother and father. It is in society’s best interest to encourage that relationship, because children are our future.

Cora Gene Anderson
South Jordan, Utah

I have lived a long life and have observed many things, good and bad. What is our goal in life, to make the world a better place for our children or a place where they merely exist? I say unequivocally that both boys and girls are much better off raised in a home with a female nurturing mother and a steadfast worthy masculine father. That is what we really should be working hard to accomplish, not justifying our own selfish desires.

Kei
,

Same-sex marriage has only been legal in the entire world since 2001, and in the U.S. since 2004. In social science terms, that’s pretty new. So new that there hasn’t been enough time to show how it affects children in the long run. On the other hand, decades of research show that children do best with a married Father and Mother in the home.

While it's true that not every couple has children, every child does have a Mother and a Father. That's how they came to be. Same-sex marriage automatically “divorces” children from one of the natural parents who created them.

GZE
SALT LAKE CITY, UT

"Same sex marriage is not inevitable."

Yes. It is.

Irony Guy
Bountiful, Utah

The IRS will now accept ss couples with a marriage certificate as married filing jointly. That means Utah faces a real quandary. The ss couple who move from California to Utah will file federal taxes jointly. That means Utah tax authority will have to recognize that status. That is LEGAL recognition, folks. Utah's position on this issue is already a dead letter.

amazondoc
mid-state, TN

@Susan Roylance --

"...children have a greater opportunity to thrive in a home with a married mother and father. ..."

You can't go into "specific studies", because there ARE no real studies showing that children do better in straight homes than in gay homes. Yes, I'm familiar with Regnerus' "study" -- which was a laughable and obvious attempt to bolster existing biases.

Every reputable professional group of child-development experts in this country SUPPORTS gay marriage. They support it because they recognize that children grow up just fine in gay-led homes.

These groups include:

American Academy of Pediatrics
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
American Academy of Family Physicians
American Psychiatric Association
American Psychological Association
National Association of Social Workers

They all SUPPORT gay marriage.

From the AAP's position statement: “There is an emerging consensus, based on extensive review of the scientific literature, that children growing up in households headed by gay men or lesbians are not disadvantaged in any significant respect relative to children of heterosexual parents" and "“ ‘Marriage strengthens families and benefits child development".

Everyone who thinks children are important should SUPPORT gay marriage. Marriage encourages stable families -- and stable families help children!

Contrariuser
mid-state, TN

@Kei --
,
"Same-sex marriage has only been legal in the entire world since 2001"

False..

-- Gay marriages have been recognized in various societies for thousands of years.

"decades of research show... "

False.

-- Research has shown that children do best in stable homes with two parents. Research has NEVER shown that the genders of those two parents makes a difference.

"Same-sex marriage automatically “divorces” children...."

False.

-- Gay couples are not stealing children from happy heterosexual homes.

1. Adopting children -- Thousands of children in the US spend years in the foster system, simply because there aren't enough homes available for them. Their parents are already gone. Adoption by gay couples HELPS these children.

2. Using surrogacy or in vitro fertilization -- These children wouldn't even EXIST without the gay couple, so it's meaningless to claim that they are being stolen from straight homes.

3. raising children from previous relationships -- The parents of these children were already separated. Once again, there is no happy straight home to go back to.

4. gay couples raise children with or without marriage. Denying marriage to those couples won't stop them from raising children.

Marriage encourages stable families. Gay marriage helps children!

OHBU
Columbus, OH

Kei: " On the other hand, decades of research show that children do best with a married Father and Mother in the home."

That's a faulty conclusion. The studies you are looking at only assumed the possibility of single parent, or mother-father homes. The more recent research has found that the positive advantages laid out in those studies is not because of heterosexuality, but the presence of two parents and a stable home. Gay marriage fulfills both of those requirements.

Tekakaromatagi
Dammam, Saudi Arabia

@Kei:
"While it's true that not every couple has children, every child does have a Mother and a Father. That's how they came to be. Same-sex marriage automatically “divorces” children from one of the natural parents who created them."

That is a good point.. Technically, a child living with one parent and the parent's gay partner has probably not been 'taken' by force from the other parent, that child is in a state where he/she has been divorced from a birth parent.

And I would like to add that blessing a friendship, long-term living relationship, etc between two or more people is all fine and dandy. But people's friendships does not deserve the sanction of the government. The reason for giving marriage between a man and a woman a special status is society's way to state that children should be raised by their father and their mother in a stable household.

It is a powerful tool to fight poverty.

spring street
SALT LAKE CITY, UT

@ Susan Roylance: Your beliefs are not valid reasons for making laws. There is not a single fact that supports your opinion - in fact, all the facts indicate that your actions are harmful to children.

Additionally, as your comment on the story acknowledges in a very backhand way, your column is based on a false dichotomy.

The choice is not heterosexual parents or homosexual parents. The choice is whether or not children being raised by homosexual parents deserve the same advantages of married parents that children being raised by heterosexual parents have.

No one has ever presented a reason why children being raised by homosexual parents should not have married parents.
No one has ever presented a reason why it is better for a child to be raised by a single straight parent than a single gay parent.

You may claim a concern for children, but your actions belie your words and show what your real priorities are. The fact that you cannot make a reality based case to support both beliefs shows the falsity of your position.

There are no legally valid reasons to prohibit same-sex marriage and harm children being raised by same-sex parents.

MapleDon
Springville, UT

Contrary to your view, it is now considered hate speech to say anything adverse towards the GLBT community. Further, the media has taken a very strong anti-Christian stance.

Those two situations, to me, provide sufficient support to the belief that same-sex marriage is inevitable. The good, but easily swayed people of Utah will soon embrace and endorse it as well. Even the LDS Church's leadership has shown weak knees on the issue of special rights and privileges for the GLBT community. As I said before, the day is coming when the gay lifestyle will be endorsed by the people of Utah.

spring street
SALT LAKE CITY, UT

@ MapleDon: Contrary to your statement, the media - this paper and many others included - very frequently have pro-Christian articles and still have a very strong public following. Additionally, I noticed that your comment was posted even though hate speech is disallowed by the rules of this paper.

Nothing in your statement resembles reality.

And the fact that posters such as yourself have to result to blatant misrepresentation of the facts is the number one reason why equal right for LGBT individuals are inevitable - no one can give a logical, valid, factually correct reason why they shouldn't.

Contrariuser
mid-state, TN

@Tekaka --

"The reason for giving marriage between a man and a woman a special status is society's way to state that children should be raised by their father and their mother in a stable household. "

If this were true, then infertile couples would not be allowed to marry.

If this were true, then couples who chose not to have children would not be allowed to marry.

Neither of those things happens.

Guess why.

"It is a powerful tool to fight poverty."

Marriage is a powerful tool to fight poverty. I agree. And that principle applies to gay marriages just as much as it does to straight marriages.

Truthseeker
SLO, CA

re:SusanRoylance
" I generally believe children have a greater opportunity to thrive in a home with a married mother and father. It is in society’s best interest to encourage that relationship, because children are our future.

Great.

Let's start with reducing/preventing unplanned pregnancies through education and contraceptives. Can we agree on that?

Secondly, what to do with the 400,000 children growing up in foster care temporarily or permanently--some of whom age out of the system? There are many young people in the foster care system because they self-identify as LGBT.

I would like to see conservatives launch major initiatives toward these problems.

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