Comments about ‘Letters: Children need love’

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Published: Friday, April 5 2013 12:00 a.m. MDT

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Dietrich, ID

Widowhood is unavoidable and some divorces are. However children are always better off with a Mother and FAther in the home still.

Lebanon, TN

Good for you, Megan!

More people need to understand that children grow up to be healthy, well-adjusted adults in all sorts of families -- not just in supposedly "ideal" situations.

In fact, the argument about where kids might be better off is irrelevant to the whole gay marriage debate. In reality, thousands of kids are **already** being raised by gay couples -- with or without gay marriage. That isn't going to change, even if marriage rights are denied to those gay couples.

Nobody is going to take those kids away from the gay couples and somehow magically give them to straight couples to raise -- and the gay couples aren't somehow stealing kids from stable straight families, either. So the whole "which is better" argument is irrelevant. Those kids are going to stay where they are, regardless.

Since kids are **already** being raised by gay couples, the best thing we can do for them is to give those couples the tools they need to make their families more stable. And that means allowing them to marry legally.

Marriage creates more stable families. Stable families are good for kids. Everyone who is concerned about children should SUPPORT gay marriage.

one old man
Ogden, UT

ALWAYS better off with a father and mother in the home?

What about those with alcoholic or abusive fathers?

But I do agree that MARRIAGE should be between a man and woman. Why not simply allow civil unions and let the churches decide if they want to hold ceremonies? After all, church marriages now are actually a civil union conducted in a church building. Doesn't the minister, rabbi, or bishop always say something like, "And so by the authority invested in me by the state of . . . . . "

salt lake city, utah

higv..and just how does the mere presence of a male and a female in a home trump the love, commitment, and caring of a single parent or parents of the same gender?

Burke, VA

You hit the nail on the head, Megan. Above all else, love is what makes the difference in the life of a child, regardless of who gives that love. Thank you for reminding us of that and thank you for loving your daughter and giving her the security that comes with your love.

george of the jungle
goshen, UT

I like the serenity prayer. I would like to know that wisdom to know the things that I can change or can't.

Everett, 00

Dietrich, ID

However children are always better off with a Mother and FAther in the home still.

7:08 a.m. April 5, 2013


Always? Really? higv

Agains, wrong with the all-or-nothing, black and white Pleasantville....

I'll bet little 4 year old Ethan Stacy didn't think so.

Ernest T. Bass
Bountiful, UT

Well said. Opponents to same sex marriage have no valid arguments based in reality.
It will happen and like those who opposed the civil rights movement, they will just look foolish when it's all said and done.

Provo, UT

I wouldn't base children's emotional well-being on exceptions. Single mothers raising children have been around long enough to know that statistically the children do not fare as well as those raised in a home with a mother and a father.

Gay parenting has no track record as of yet--too new to declare it a healthy alternative.

Congratulations to you, Megan, for having raised an emotionally healthy daughter. You are an exceptional single mother.

American Fork, UT

Nicely put, Megan. I'd bet it would be even better for kids in those situations if their families weren't denigrated just for being what they are.

Everett, 00

Provo, UT

Gay parenting has no track record as of yet--too new to declare it a healthy alternative.


Gay parenting has been around since the dawn of time.

and FYI - most gay kids were raised by straight parents.

Deep Space 9, Ut

To "Megan Ribson" the question is what do you want for your children, and what do they deserve. Do you want the best or second best?

If you want the best for your children, then they need a caring mother and father in the home. Second best is an involved single parent, third best is a gay couple.

The studies are out there showing that it is best if a child has a caring mother and father.

Gay couples can give children a good environment, but the research shows that it results in the kids getting involved in risky sexual behavior when they are teens and adults.

So again, do you want the best for your child, or are you willing to settle for a lesser substitute?

South Jordan, UT

"Second best is an involved single parent, third best is a gay couple."
You can't be serious? So you think my family would be better off if I was raising children as a Single parent than if I was in a loving, committed, stable marriage to someone else of my same-sex?

There is absolutely no basis for such an absurd claim.

West Jordan, UT

"...but the research shows that it results in the kids getting involved in risky sexual behavior when they are teens and adults."
I would be most interested to see the "research" you are basing your opinions on. Could you please provide some links? Attributing your comments to "research" without providing that "research" leaves one to wonder if you actually know what your talking about or if you are making it up out of whole cloth.

USS Enterprise, UT

To "Utahtex" read "Adolescents of the U.S. national longitudinal lesbian family study: Sexual orientation, sexual behavior, and sexual risk exposure" Archives of Sexual Behavior. That study found that the children raised by gay couples were more likely to think of themselves as bisexual or gay than their counterparts.

There are other articles, but I don't want to stop you from learning how to use Google. While you are learning to use Google, look at the pro-gay marriage studies they typically do 1 of 2 things. They either compare gay marriage to single parents or else only deal with financial outcomes and don't discuss sexual behaviors of those kids once they reach adulthood.

Lebanon, TN

@Redshirt --

"The studies are out there showing that it is best if a child has a caring mother and father...."

This is simply not true. In fact, the groups of medical and scientific professionals who know the MOST about the development of children -- like the American Academy of Pediatrics, the Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, and the American Academy of Family Physicians -- have come out in FAVOR of gay marriage, because they know that children grow up just fine in loving, stable homes with parents of **either** gender.

I challenge you to find **any** group of child development experts who have come out against gay marriage.

I know of **one** study which claims that children do better in straight homes than in gay ones. In that study, the "researcher" compared kids in UNSTABLE gay homes -- homes that mostly had single or divorced parents -- with kids in STABLE straight homes. Naturally, the kids in the stable homes did better. It had nothing to do with orientation, and **everything** to do with stability.

Marriage improves family stability. Family stability is important for kids. If you think that kids are important, then you should SUPPORT gay marriage.

Lebanon, TN

@Redshirt --

"Adolescents of the U.S. national longitudinal lesbian family study..."

This study actually found -- and I'm quoting directly from that paper:

1. "adolescents reared in lesbian families are less likely than their peers to be victimized by a parent or other caregiver", and it also states: " the sexual abuse of children that occurs within the home is largely perpetrated by adult heterosexual males" -- in other words, the kids were SAFER in lesbian families than in straight families;


2. "0% of girls and 5.4% of boys self-rated as predominantly-to-exclusively homosexual." and "the NLLFS (lesbian-raised) adolescent boys were no more likely to have engaged in same-sex behavior than were the boys in the NSFG (straight-raised) sample."

**Zero** percent of the girls self-rated as lesbian, and the boys were NO more likely to show same-sex behavior than straight-raised kids.

That paper also states: "Research has established that there are no significant differences in psychological well-being between the children of lesbian and heterosexual parents".

NO significant differences. And that paper includes a LONG list of references to back it up.

Keep trying, Red.

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