Comments about ‘Dear mom on the iPhone: Let me tell you what you don’t see’

This is a heavenly judgmental article. Did the author follow the subject around all day to see how this mother was with her kids? No. She took one experience and extrapolated it.

Maybe this mom is finally taking a moment to herself and calling a close girlfriend for some words of encouragement. Maybe her husband just cheated on her (sound familiar?) and she took her kids to the park to distract them while she made an important phone call. Shame on you for passing judgment on this mother. You have no idea what is in her heart.

This applies to all of us. Fine that you directed it to Moms, but I intend to have the grandparents and kids read it too. It is a lesson that I, Dad, and my wife already know....

Wow, this mom must be perfect! Nice generalization of all moms on iPhones. I for one just recently left a corporate job where I worked 5 days a week and didn't get to see my daughter much at all during the week. I now work part-time from home and yes, a lot of my business is run from (you guessed it) and iPhone! Does this make me a Mom who is missing out on more if I could never take my daughter to the park before because I was stuck in an office? Yes, I pick up my iPhone now and then, even at times when we are playing, but please, you don't know what we have been doing all day long and please, if you are going to generalize other moms you better be perfect yourself! Sure, I will put my iPhone down when I feel it is most important, but if I ever pick it up for a few minutes, please don't assume I am playing games, playing on Facebook or something similar. I am working to support my family and guess what...sometimes I can do that from the park!

And please don't talk while you're driving your little ones around.

I am very sorry to hear so much judgment passed, with only a brief encounter as the basis of judgment. Motherhood is hard and exhausting. Although the author may have good intentions, she comes off as judgmental and ignorant. I hope compassion will be considered before her next encounter with a mother.

If something were more important than your children, you are aware that you can wait to have kids? Or even not have kids?

Reimagine this article to be about any other adult relationship and, while there are always critics, I would wager that there were less people feeling guilty, after all, a relationship with anyone else can afford to know that your world doesn't revolve around them.

But when you start having kids, I believe that they need the foundational love that an appropriately involved parent can give.

It's a shame that the unchallenged retort is that the poster is being judgmental. Of course she is, just as you were, just as I am of you. Get over it.

I think that what steams people the most about being "judged" is that it questions their commitment to their decisions. Having kids is and should be a life commitment. I don't need to feel guilty for something I'm giving 100% toward, so the poster doesn't need me tearing her down.

And plus, nobody else really cares about your kids. Nor can they, at least not as much as you should.

Moderation in all things.

Perhaps she convinced her boss that she could telecommute - so now she can write emails AND spend time with her kids rather than leave them with a sitter. Perhaps she was up all night with the youngest of her kids, and she needs to decompress with Angry Birds. Perhaps she's writing her husband who is serving in Afghanistan, and this was her only free moment to do so today. Perhaps she has a dying relative and this is the moment she had time to make arrangements with her family.

The point is: why are you avoiding your children to stare at this other mom. Mind your own business. You don't know her because you glanced at her on an adjacent park bend and made a quick assumption, and now you're encouraging your audience to feel righteous doing the same.

I really don't think this write is trying to be judgemental of other writers, but observing a trend happening in society today. I see it as we go to restaurants, parents on their phones and not even having a real conversations with their kids. I do it myself as I'm on my phone or computer when the kids get home from school and I miss that window of time where they will have a conversation with me. Technology will take over if we let it!

This article has inspired me to deactivate my Facebook account as this is my biggest time sucker and sometimes other people's comments and status updates take precedence over my kids and husband and that is wrong.

Maybe we all need to take an inventory of the time we are spending online/on the phone etc and see if it is impeding on our most important relationships!

This is a silly article. Alternate titles could be:

- Dear mom sitting with your friend: Let me tell you what you don't see.
- Dear mom sitting with your book: Let me tell you what you don't see.
- Dear mom petting your dog: Let me tell you what you don't see.
- Dear mom talking to her husband: Let me tell you what you don't see.
- Dear mom talking to her mom: Let me tell you what you don't see.
- Dear mom daydreaming: Let me tell you what you don't see.
- Dear mom writing in your journal: Let me tell you what you don't see.
- Dear mom talking with your eldest child: Let me tell you what you don't see.

@ kcs studio -

Struck a nerve huh?? I love how you are just as quick to judge Tonya's intentions. Yea, sure there is a .5% chance that the mother is finding a cure for cancer while her kids play at the park, but in today's society, there is an extremely much higher likelihood that she is just chatting and Facebooking. Let's be honest. The whole point is . . . . put down the technology and be invested in the moment. Jeesh!

Huh. I actually make it a point to let my daughter (soon to be daughterS) know that they are NOT the center of my life. I love them, care for them, spend time with them, snuggle them, play with them, read to them...but I also work, read, think, write, exercise, and socialize such that they understand that I have my own thoughts, my own world, my own personhood to attend to.

They know they're loved, safe, and wanted. They also know that it is up to them to make their life something special -- no one's gonna do it for them -- because a) I couldn't anyway, even if I tried, and b) that's what they see Mommy do. I think this whole, "YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS A SECOND" theme has merits, but it can actually create helicopter parenting and become overbearing for children. All things in moderation, even the attention we lavish on our kids.

As a mom, grandma & foster mom, I agree that kids grow & change too much,far too fast. It's a fact that soon we find ourselves way down the list of their priorities. However, as every child is unique, so too is every life situation. One cannot judge another's situation at a glance. Are u not taking time from your family to blog in judgement of another?

You gotta be kidding, someone that writes a blog complaining about the time others spend on tech. This blog entry just came across as nasty.

First: electronics are addicting & these days people need to put them down A LOT. But to say that a mom taking time for her self is robbing her kids seems harsh. Moms judge other moms way to harshly. We already weight ourselves down with guilt. Having other moms giving stink eyes to each other isn't helpful. We have no idea people's situation. If that mom was just making cookies with her kids, did she still deserve judgment? Does she get credit that she didnt plop them in front of the tv instead? If she was reading a book on her phone still bad? On the phone talking, doing her calling bad? I get this article is trying to state the people are sucked into their phones too much & it's true, but please don't paint a picture that a bad/ selfish mom is one at the park not glowing over every park moment, because she is not. She's with her kids, right? She brought them to the park, right? They are fed & happy, right? Then I say that is good mom that is trying... Perfect? No. But trying & that is what is important.

Cancelled the phones to pay for a missionary. While there have been some frustrations when I have felt I really needed to contact someone (usually DH) I have spent a lot more time talking to the 2 yr old and 9 mth old. Kids really do say the darndest things if you are LISTENING. Thanks for the reminder Tonya. When the kids are gone are we going to regret the texts we didn't read or the funny video we missed?! Think about it.

While I see the writer's point to this and yes, some times mother's may not be spending quality time with their kids, but I also don't think there is anything wrong with a mother taking a moment out for herself either. this mother was taking her kid to the park, and was spending time with her. sure maybe not every breathing second was spent in undivided attention to her child but she was doing more than some mom's would. taking her to the park to play. Maybe she also just spent quality time taking a walk with her too.. but I don't think it is your right to judge another mother. She could be talking to her mother who is dying of cancer. Or simply need a 5minute break. you just don't know. Easy to judge another when you aren't in their shoes.

I nice article with a timely reminder. I think we all see people who are on their cell phones way too much. Oblivious to their kids, the traffic they are driving in, all the things happening around them. This seems to be the point of the article, not the mom taking 2 minutes for herself after a busy day or a life's calamity. This article isn't judging a specific person or incident it is commenting on a problem in society as a whole, and as such it is a point well taken. Off to see what my kids are up too.

This article was not addressing one particular mother the author was supposedly watching, but to all mothers out there who know who they are. Nothing judgmental here.