Comments about ‘Single for life? The social costs of fewer families’

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Published: Saturday, Feb. 2 2013 6:00 a.m. MST

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Arizona Rocks
Phoenix, AZ

Not one of the 18 comments mentioned God. God told us in the Bible to be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth. Families are the foundation of God's plan of happiness and why this world would be created so that His spirit children can come to earth to gain experience and be tested and to learn to walk in God's light and having faith in Him by keeping His commandments. He knew that we would make mistakes as we experience life. Some are big mistakes. That is why there needs to be a Savior to atone for our sins. His name is Jesus Christ. The Son of God. Not only has he atoned for our sins if we would repent and not repeat them but he also wants us to give Him our sorrows and hurts through no fault of our own. Jesus suffered all these things for us so we could walk with Him and talk with Him. Our Father in Heaven is the answer to these problems discussed in this article. Ask Him personally what each of us should do. If we do these things He tells us it will be a better world.

Brave Sir Robin
San Diego, CA

@Arizona Rocks

The word "replenish" means "to make full or complete again, as by supplying that which is used up." In other words, replenish means to restore the level of something to the level at which is was before. Unfortunately, too many Christians believe replenish means to restore to a level above what it was before.

My wife and I are active LDS and we have two kids. There are two of us. We have done our part to "replenish the earth." Replenishing does not mean two people having eight kids in any way, shape, or form.


I have a 29 year old sister who has dated many different men over the years and never found the right one. We as siblings have been supportive of whatever path she chooses, but I can see her fading more and more into the contented single life rather than pursue a life with marriage and kids. She says she is happy, but we can all tell that she is finding temporary placeholders to fill her time and existence.

I honestly hope she can stay happy as a single person, but I honestly believe that it cannot be lasting happiness and eventually she will feel lonely and depressed if she chooses the single life over the married life. I know that for me, 13 years of marriage and 4 kids have been my greatest adventure and I can't imagine living my life without those 5 people surrounding me and supporting me everyday. It is hard and its a sacrifice, but when I'm 60 I'm going to look back and remember my 4 year old watching the super bowl and cheering with me...what will Seth have to look back upon that will fill him with joy?

Far East USA, SC

There is no right or wrong way to go thru life. Having kids or not, or getting married or not is a personal choice.

And for many, being single or being childless is the right choice.

It is rather presumptuous for anyone to tell others how they should live their lives.

Do what is right for you. Leave others alone.

Salt Lake City, UT

Raise the retirement age. Problem solved.

Nan BW
ELder, CO

A cousin and I have agonized for many years about a childless uncle and aunt (unable to have children). The bio-uncle is a difficult man and after 59 years of marriage Aunt R. bailed out (with the help of a niece). We are relieved we don't have her care to consider, but when she left the uncle didn't know how to write checks, clean house, prepare meals, etc. Each of us spent significant time last year trying to help him determine his course. The cousin arranged for his care in assisted living, but we still have to deal with his personal property, try to give him emotional support and there are many other details to address. Of course there are finances too. He was a professional with investments and preparations, but they are inadequate. I am so glad I have children, and though I don't want to be a burden on them, we have helped them so I hope they will be willing to help us when we need it. Children are a blessing in countless ways.

Salt Lake City, UT

@Arizona Rocks
He issued that commandment when there were only 2 people. Now we have what... 7 billion? Ever notice all those articles about Utah and Nevada water disputes? There's a limit to how many people we can fit on this planet with the resources it has. I will not attempt to say what the limit is, merely to suggest that there is such a limit.

Patrick Henry
West Jordan, UT


You said "They will be faced with the care of 12 parents and grandparents. This is an impossible tasks." You are right it is an impossible task, but also an unrealistic expectation that you hold. You are responsible to fund your retirement and that includes any medical care that you may need.

Sandy, UT

@Mountanman -- Good for you. Some of us would like the opportunity, but aren't about to jump into something with the wrong person just because they're available... as if it were some kind of merit badge we were earning. "Get a wife". Check. Now I can be happy.

@Californian -- Irresponsible comment. Not everyone who is single thought their lives would turn out this way. Sometimes it's not a choice. I don't consider the 'available women' much of a choice at this point. Hoping for a miracle, but as faith has failed me over and over again in this regard, I'd rather spend my life doing constructive things than sitting around moping about why God hasn't sent a miracle to my door.

BYU Track Star
Los Angeles, CA

Being single without children, while paying taxes and for schools and what not is such a bad thing as this article suggests?

After WW II the Soviet Union, now Russia, after losing so many men and to a lesser extent women wanted to repopulate its country. The Soviets provided economic incentives for Soviet Women to have babies with or without husbands. Well Soviet Males took advantage of this policy and many practiced a secular form of Polygamy. New Russia is still suffering from this replenishment program. The author shouldn't wish too hard for something without considering the unintended consequences

Henry Drummond
San Jose, CA

I think the real number to look at is the dependency rate. That is what sharp changes in the fertility rate tend to cause. We have seen this with the Baby Boom Generation who overcrowded classrooms in the early years. Then they made it possible to provide generous pensions for the World War II generation when they went to work. But now they are entering retirement themselves. This would argue for a stable birthrate.

BYU Track Star
Los Angeles, CA

@AZ Rocks.

Why should a Deity be involved in whether a person remains single or not? Unless the Deity actively provides potential spouses to the Singletons out there. Personally, if the Singletons out there are actively looking for spouses they will find them . Its all a numbers game.

Eugene, OR

I have to agree with Hutterite here. As much as I love being a parent, it isn't remotely for everybody and we shouldn't be guilted into trying to live up to the DN's norms. I have the greatest daughter a man could ever hope for and that's all I want to have. It's odd that the same people who like to go about about living within one's means and taking personal responsibility are the ones who want to pressure people into having the biggest families they can as soon as possible.

Plano, TX

As wonderful, albeit challenging as my life has been - I cannot fathom being of the mind to NOT have had children knowing they would have great experiences like my own parents provided me. Beyond my parent's sacrifice, the kindness and great interactions I've had with people high and low.... I Just can't imagine myself making a choice that would end or highly limit the continuity of life and experiences for generations of other who could follow; who knows what solutions they might provide, what amazing people they might be and serve and the value they might add to culture and history? I find choosing to end the chain to be perhaps the most judgmental and pessimistic act available, given the potential of a child.

John C. C.
Payson, UT

Unfortunately, we already have pressure in Utah to make parents more responsible for the cost of educating their children, as if they were a burden to society instead of our future. Representative Briscoe, (R-House District ) is right now sponsoring Utah's H.B. 55, which would reduce the future tax deductions parents now receive for their children--a virtual reverse head tax. If anything, government should be increasing the personal deductions. By raising children parents are building the future of our society.

American Fork, UT

I used to work with a lot of single women at an LDS owned company in Salt Lake City. These type of editorials published by the Deseret News (now on a daily basis) have the tendency to make single people feel really bad about themselves. However, as a person who has done it both ways (married and single), I know that life is awesome in either situation. So, don't listen to these people with narrow-minded views on life. You can be extremely happy in any situation in life.

Ernest T. Bass
Bountiful, UT

Staying single and waiting to have kids would do the world a lot of good.

Far East USA, SC

"Utah's H.B. 55, which would reduce the future tax deductions parents now receive for their children--a virtual reverse head tax."

So, let me see if I understand this logic.

If you don't get a tax deduction for your children, that constitutes a head tax?

In Utah, it costs over $6000 per school kid per year. That will be over $70,000 to educate one kid thru high school.

While I agree that we all benefit when kids get an education, I find it hard to fathom that some think that those without kids should pay more then you do to educate your children.

CHS 85
Sandy, UT

@John C.C.

That's right. That's the personal responsibility Utah is famous for. Have all the kids you want - pay not taxes. Those of us who haven't been fortunate enough to have more than one will carry your load. That sounds fair.

Liberal Ted
Salt Lake City, UT

There is HOPE for CHANGE in a few generations afterall. The far left wing and the mentality and selfishness of people will deplete the population. Leaving those that actually care of and for little ones in the future. Let me explain about caring before people become upset. The democrat party is hijacked by those that feel the woman has a right to extinguish another human life, even when she willingly engages in a behavior and made a choice that wasn't forced upon her. She feels that it is her body rather than another human being that she is carrying. So with that sad definition she feels she can flush that life away as though it was a cancer or disease to have to deal with.

A book and lenghty discussion could be written about this. But, since we're limited I'll leave it at that. How sad to think that one can choose to sleep around, create a human life and then legally murder the defensless child. Yet the democrats cry when there is a school shooting and claim to take the high road in defending the defensless.

I guess when the victim isn't seen itdoesn'tmatter

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