Comments about ‘Joshua Weed: Why I love the LDS Church's new MormonsandGays.org website’

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Published: Wednesday, Dec. 19 2012 3:00 p.m. MST

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Baccus0902
Leesburg, VA

Procurador Fiscal

You wrote: "Why do LGBT activists insist that everyone who identifies him/herself as same-sex attracted is required to live the life they live?"

How did you reach that conclusion? Never heard anything like that.
I think you are missing the point.

If Mr. Weed and his wife have found true happiness and true fulfillment in their lives, I think we all feel happy for them.

There is not threat to them or hate, on the contrary, because we can imagine how challenging that can be I'm sure that most gay people feel love and send our prayers for their happiness.

Yes, many of us gay people, pray, read the scriptures, examine our daily lives, and do many things that heterosexual people do. The biggest difference is in the privacy of our bedrooms.

We really don't hate heterosexuals, actually we love many people who are heterosexuals, mother, father, brothers and sisters, uncles, aunts, co-workers, etc.

My dear Procurador Fiscal those who feel negativity toward a different sexual orientation are usually heterosexuals. We gays are used to you people (like we had a choice :-) more than that, we love you as our friends and family.

moniker lewinsky
Taylorsville, UT

Wrong side of history.

Just Jargon
Orem, UT

It seems to me, and I may be wrong, but I see no difference in being attracted to the same sex, or being a man or woman--attracted to many members of the opposite sex. The point that remains, what you do about it. If you ACT on either one, you will need to repent. IF you exercise self-control, take up your cross and do NOT act on the attractions, you are on the correct path. Having SEX is not, as I understand, essential to happiness, nor necessary. Only God can figure the rest on that, but experiences, childhood exposure to sexuality, and maybe in rare cases--from earliest memories...all play a part in the ensuing sexual directions we take.
If you are plain old heterosexual, and have NO sexual temptations, I guarantee you DO have temptations that YOU must deal with. Best deal with those and love everyone else, and have compassion and say, "There but for God, go I." And darn well be glad you aren't walking in the tough shoes of another!!!! Thank-you God for my trials, and thank-you for sparing me others I might not be able to contend with!

procuradorfiscal
Tooele, UT

Re: "My biggest concern is for when Mr Weed realizes he is living a lie . . . ."

As I said, grow up, live your life, let others do the same. Real people are more concerned for people like you than we are for him.

It's not a lie for Josh to love God and his wife, any more than it is for a hetero husband. Each should be committed to the one he loves and resist temptation to sleep with others.

You'll learn that when you grow up -- hopefully, before you get married.

Julie R.
Kearns, UT

(continuing as I ran out of space) I DO believe that all of us who struggle in life, which is everyone, will be made whole. Homosexuals and heterosexuals who follow Jesus Christ's commandments are expected to not have ANY sexual relationship that is not between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully married. That means no sexual acts for a straight man that is not with his legal wife, as well, people. No pre-marital sex, no extra-marital sex. It is the same for homosexuals. If a person cannot be married, they should not be having sex with anyone. EVERYONE is expected to overcome the base nature's of our bodies and live a higher law so that we can have what God has. Why would we not want to have everything? Follow Jesus Christ will all your heart, might, mind, and strength. Show love and service to everyone. Make yourself better than you are. You will come out happier than anything the world can do for you. Merry Christmas!

Julie R.
Kearns, UT

There is no where in the church doctrine that says that a member of the church must be married in this life or they are damned to hell never to live in the Celestial Kingdom with God. There are tons of members who identify as heterosexual who never get married in this life for one reason or another. That does not mean that they will not get the full blessings that Heavenly Father promises to all who follow Jesus Christ's commandments. Why should it be different for those who identify as homosexual? They are not forced to get married. If they cannot build a relationship like the Weed family, they aren't expected to get married. They are expected to follow all of Jesus Christ's commandments just as non-homosexuals are expected to live all of Jesus Christ's commandments. I have no idea why people experience homosexuality. I am not God and do not have His understanding, therefore I cannot fully understand. Yet. I know that after this life all things will be made right. All pains, all hurts, all wrongs, all things. I do not believe that there will be homosexuality in heaven. (continued.....)

RanchHand
Huntsville, UT

@procuradorfiscal;

I'm gay and I really couldn't care less if someone like Josh is gay and wants to marry a woman. We don't hate him and people like him (we know way too many of them).

That said, using men like Josh to try and FORCE the rest of us to live a "heterosexual lifestyle" or be celibate is offensive and disgusting.

BTW: We are more than willing to leave you alone, you're the ones voting on our lives though, we're not voting on yours.

@Baccus0902 & Wendell;

My story is almost the same as yours. Once I finally prayed that I was going to stop trying to change and accept myself, all the guilt, all the self-hate, all the agony vanished and has never come back. That was over 30 years ago.

Most of the people comparing us to men/woman who are attracted to *many* of the opposite sex who manage to *control* their urges are forgetting one thing: Those men/women HAVE AN OUTLET in the person they've married.

gigi_gorgeous
New York, NY

So, if I am consumed by thoughts which are questionable/evil, it is okay as long as I don't act on those thoughts???? Absolutely not.

O'really
Idaho Falls, ID

There actually is more to life than sex. It's highly possible for a may who has same gender attractions to love and be married to a woman and for both of them to be completely content. To those who don't believe that, it requires charity from you to just live and let live. Perhaps as much as is required of heterosexuals to be accepting of those who choose the gay lifestyle. Why must you insist they are being untrue to their genuine selves? They are simply putting other things above sex and that's OK!!

atl134
Salt Lake City, UT

I cannot see a circumstance where i would want to be in a sexual relationship with someone of the same gender. Because I'm straight. I don't care how much I like those friends, I just wouldn't be attracted to them in that way. So for someone with attractions to one gender to be in a healthy sexual relationship with someone of the other gender... there has to be some level of attraction to both. That's what the Kinsey scale shows.

EnglishAlan
Rugeley, Staffs

This is good news for many members of the Church, and also for the Church itself. Many good people have been lost to the Church because they have not been treated as well by some folks in the Church as they might be.

I have two friends that both have two gay sons. My family and I have known these boys since birth, and have always loved them. We love them because of the people they are. Their sexual orientation has never bothered us, even though we are "straight." People either are, or they are not, nice people because of the people they are. I like being around nice people because they are nice, not because they are gay, straight, black, white, Baptist, Catholic, atheists, agnostics or even if they flew in from Mars. Nice people are nice people, and unpleasant people are unpleasant people because of who they are, and not because of what their ethnic background or orientations are.

I wish Josh and his family all that they deserve. A long and happy life together. To those who have left the Church over this issue, please come back. We love you, and we need you.

RanchHand
Huntsville, UT

EnglishAlan says:

"To those who have left the Church over this issue, please come back."

---

Why? To continue to be treated as second class and be required to give up the ones we love? Those of you who are lauding "the church" for this, are the very ones who are making our relationships out as "all about sex". Relationships are complicated, as you well know from your own, and there is far more to them than just sex. Yours, ours, the others, with only that one small difference are otherwise identical.

ulvegaard
Medical Lake, Washington

No doubt there are some who feel that The Weeds have chosen to suppress rather than to accept and to pretend rather than to live honestly as the majority of the LGBT community would prefer.

Everyone on this planet has some sort of an 'inborn' trait that is not 'normal' or causes some distress in life in one way or another. And so, everyone on this planet has an opportunity to seek for self mastery - to what ever degree they are capable of doing. By the same token, most of us in society go day to day keeping our personal issues to ourselves without feeling a need to advertise them. Personally, I prefer to work on my personal issues - as much as I can, personally; without community involvement.

One faction of society seems convinced that the way to overcome challenges is to simply alter the laws or customs of society so that they are no longer considered problematic. I'm not sure this is a long lasting solution.

I appreciated the article and a voice to suggest that there are other options than simply surrendering to our tendencies and compelling others to accept it.

RanchHand
Huntsville, UT

@ulvegaard;

Fortunately for you, you don't need to "master" the need to have someone in your life to love. As for keeping your "personal issues" to yourself, you advertise your sexuality every single day of your life. You absolutely do. Your wedding ring says "Hey, I'm heterosexual and married". Pictures of your spouse and kids says: "Hey, I'm heterosexual and married". Holding your spouse's hand, says "Hey, I'm heterosexual and married - or dating".

You really need to examine your original premise. We're not broken and don't need fixing.

wilsclanmom
Alexandria, VA

I have thought for so many years that the church needed people willing to stand up and say they are gay and LDS too--people willing to give their names and talk about it on record. There are young people growing up in the church who are afraid of what they're feeling and they need role model besides the ones the world offers. Thank heavens that people like the Weeds are opening this up to discussion. Blessings on you!

Southernmiss
kaysville, UT

To: Baccus0902,

Are you still a practicing LDS? Just curious...and if so, have you found yourself being accepted all these years? If not, will you consider coming back into full activity? Also, how accepting has your family been? Sorry for all the questions, but 30 years ago was a different time and much more closed minded toward these issues...Thanks for any enlightenment!

Baccus0902
Leesburg, VA

@ Southernmiss

Thank you for your questions,
I rarely attend services at the LDS Church. I usually do it to accompany family members who are visiting the U.S.
Individual members have been quite open minded ( I live very close to the Washington DC area in Northern Virginia, which is very liberal, may be that have something to do with it, I don't know).
Some members of my family had a hard time accepting it. But in a short time all of them came around to me and my nuclear family.
I love the LDS Church, I think my perspective in life has been shaped by mormonism. However, I cannot go back to full activity until the church accepts me as I am. I do love a man and together we adopted and raised a daughter who is going to college next year. Would I destroy my family for the Church? NO!
As a family we pray, read the scriptures, and study all religious ideas that cross our path, I can humbly say that God has always been with us.
I hope this answer your questions.

SuziQ
Springville, UT

It seems to me that this is a complex issue that the LDS church is willing to address. It says that we don't have all the answers to people's challenges. We need to be willing to love one another as Christ did no matter what. The LDS church also isn't budging on the fact that it doesn't condone sexual relations outside of a man and woman being married to each other. I think that this reaffirms what the LDS doctrine has always been. Mortality is a brief moment in our eternal existence. Each one of us has challenges. Obviously being attracted to someone of the same gender is one of them if part of the purpose of sexuality is to create children. (Obviously that is not going to happen from a same gender union.) I have no doubt that people might think that they are happier acting upon those urges in life. I just wonder what happens to them after they die. All the same, each person needs to make their own choice. Love one another no matter how different we are.

kvnsmnsn
Springville, UT

=However, my understanding is that being a gay man means you are sexually
=attracted to men. How do these 'wives' handle that? Why would they say they are
='happily married'?

Maybe these 'wives' realize that there's more to a good marriage than just sexual attraction. I think sexual attraction is a huge part of most successful marriages, and should be. But I don't think that it's so huge that its lack necessarily dooms a marriage to failure. Josh and Lolly clearly have something great going for them, and I'm certainly not going to say that their marriage is wrong or bad just because they lack that one ingredient.

kvnsmnsn
Springville, UT

=Instead of trying to encourage people to live a lie by marrying someone they
=aren't attracted too why not let them just be themselves?

What lie is Josh living? He clearly loves Lolly; he clearly loves his three children. Why shouldn't he be part of a family with four people he loves? Why does sexual attraction have to define who someone ends up spending his life (or eternity) with?

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