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Joshua Weed: Why I love the LDS Church's new MormonsandGays.org website

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  • theidma New York City, NY
    Jan. 17, 2013 12:18 p.m.

    To panamadesnews: Exactly my point. Most people face challenges when it comes to chastity. In the example you provided about being attracted to women, I did not see you describe yourself as an "adulterer married to a woman!" My understanding is that you consider yourself a married man, period. Why does Josh see the need to identify as a gay man married to a woman? In my opinion, well, based on self fulfilling prophecy, if he keeps identifying as a homosexual man, it will become true for him. At some point, the idea of being with a woman will have to give way to his need to be with a man. I still do not get the need for homosexual men to be married (probably in the temple!) to women. It also seems fraudulent to me, but that's just my opinion. No disrespect intended to Josh and his family. We all have the right to make our choices. Not my cup of tea anyways :)

  • kvnsmnsn Springville, UT
    Jan. 14, 2013 4:48 p.m.

    =However, I cannot go back to full activity until the church accepts me as I am.
    =I do love a man and together we adopted and raised a daughter who is going to
    =college next year. Would I destroy my family for the Church? NO!

    Baccus0902, I thank God that there are people like you.

    For all the noise that the Pro-Lifers make about every unwanted fetus having the right to be born, they don't follow through and adopt the baby when s/he is born. Well, they may adopt some of them, but not all; often when the Pro-Lifers adopt it's healthy white newborns. On the other hand, if I have understood what I've read in the media correctly, the disparity is made up by gay couples adopting the rest, which often includes special needs children.

    I consider myself a moderate Latter-day Saint. Currently the policy in Texas is; when a child needs foster parents, to look for a straight couple first, and to look for a gay couple if they can't find a straight couple; and similarly for adoptive parents. I like that policy.

  • kvnsmnsn Springville, UT
    Jan. 14, 2013 3:34 p.m.

    =Instead of trying to encourage people to live a lie by marrying someone they
    =aren't attracted too why not let them just be themselves?

    What lie is Josh living? He clearly loves Lolly; he clearly loves his three children. Why shouldn't he be part of a family with four people he loves? Why does sexual attraction have to define who someone ends up spending his life (or eternity) with?

  • kvnsmnsn Springville, UT
    Jan. 14, 2013 3:20 p.m.

    =However, my understanding is that being a gay man means you are sexually
    =attracted to men. How do these 'wives' handle that? Why would they say they are
    ='happily married'?

    Maybe these 'wives' realize that there's more to a good marriage than just sexual attraction. I think sexual attraction is a huge part of most successful marriages, and should be. But I don't think that it's so huge that its lack necessarily dooms a marriage to failure. Josh and Lolly clearly have something great going for them, and I'm certainly not going to say that their marriage is wrong or bad just because they lack that one ingredient.

  • SuziQ Springville, UT
    Dec. 28, 2012 11:02 p.m.

    It seems to me that this is a complex issue that the LDS church is willing to address. It says that we don't have all the answers to people's challenges. We need to be willing to love one another as Christ did no matter what. The LDS church also isn't budging on the fact that it doesn't condone sexual relations outside of a man and woman being married to each other. I think that this reaffirms what the LDS doctrine has always been. Mortality is a brief moment in our eternal existence. Each one of us has challenges. Obviously being attracted to someone of the same gender is one of them if part of the purpose of sexuality is to create children. (Obviously that is not going to happen from a same gender union.) I have no doubt that people might think that they are happier acting upon those urges in life. I just wonder what happens to them after they die. All the same, each person needs to make their own choice. Love one another no matter how different we are.

  • Baccus0902 Leesburg, VA
    Dec. 26, 2012 7:59 p.m.

    @ Southernmiss

    Thank you for your questions,
    I rarely attend services at the LDS Church. I usually do it to accompany family members who are visiting the U.S.
    Individual members have been quite open minded ( I live very close to the Washington DC area in Northern Virginia, which is very liberal, may be that have something to do with it, I don't know).
    Some members of my family had a hard time accepting it. But in a short time all of them came around to me and my nuclear family.
    I love the LDS Church, I think my perspective in life has been shaped by mormonism. However, I cannot go back to full activity until the church accepts me as I am. I do love a man and together we adopted and raised a daughter who is going to college next year. Would I destroy my family for the Church? NO!
    As a family we pray, read the scriptures, and study all religious ideas that cross our path, I can humbly say that God has always been with us.
    I hope this answer your questions.

  • Southernmiss kaysville, UT
    Dec. 22, 2012 9:41 a.m.

    To: Baccus0902,

    Are you still a practicing LDS? Just curious...and if so, have you found yourself being accepted all these years? If not, will you consider coming back into full activity? Also, how accepting has your family been? Sorry for all the questions, but 30 years ago was a different time and much more closed minded toward these issues...Thanks for any enlightenment!

  • wilsclanmom Alexandria, VA
    Dec. 22, 2012 4:41 a.m.

    I have thought for so many years that the church needed people willing to stand up and say they are gay and LDS too--people willing to give their names and talk about it on record. There are young people growing up in the church who are afraid of what they're feeling and they need role model besides the ones the world offers. Thank heavens that people like the Weeds are opening this up to discussion. Blessings on you!

  • RanchHand Huntsville, UT
    Dec. 21, 2012 5:00 p.m.

    @ulvegaard;

    Fortunately for you, you don't need to "master" the need to have someone in your life to love. As for keeping your "personal issues" to yourself, you advertise your sexuality every single day of your life. You absolutely do. Your wedding ring says "Hey, I'm heterosexual and married". Pictures of your spouse and kids says: "Hey, I'm heterosexual and married". Holding your spouse's hand, says "Hey, I'm heterosexual and married - or dating".

    You really need to examine your original premise. We're not broken and don't need fixing.

  • ulvegaard Medical Lake, Washington
    Dec. 21, 2012 3:07 p.m.

    No doubt there are some who feel that The Weeds have chosen to suppress rather than to accept and to pretend rather than to live honestly as the majority of the LGBT community would prefer.

    Everyone on this planet has some sort of an 'inborn' trait that is not 'normal' or causes some distress in life in one way or another. And so, everyone on this planet has an opportunity to seek for self mastery - to what ever degree they are capable of doing. By the same token, most of us in society go day to day keeping our personal issues to ourselves without feeling a need to advertise them. Personally, I prefer to work on my personal issues - as much as I can, personally; without community involvement.

    One faction of society seems convinced that the way to overcome challenges is to simply alter the laws or customs of society so that they are no longer considered problematic. I'm not sure this is a long lasting solution.

    I appreciated the article and a voice to suggest that there are other options than simply surrendering to our tendencies and compelling others to accept it.

  • RanchHand Huntsville, UT
    Dec. 21, 2012 1:55 p.m.

    EnglishAlan says:

    "To those who have left the Church over this issue, please come back."

    ---

    Why? To continue to be treated as second class and be required to give up the ones we love? Those of you who are lauding "the church" for this, are the very ones who are making our relationships out as "all about sex". Relationships are complicated, as you well know from your own, and there is far more to them than just sex. Yours, ours, the others, with only that one small difference are otherwise identical.

  • EnglishAlan Rugeley, Staffs
    Dec. 21, 2012 2:12 a.m.

    This is good news for many members of the Church, and also for the Church itself. Many good people have been lost to the Church because they have not been treated as well by some folks in the Church as they might be.

    I have two friends that both have two gay sons. My family and I have known these boys since birth, and have always loved them. We love them because of the people they are. Their sexual orientation has never bothered us, even though we are "straight." People either are, or they are not, nice people because of the people they are. I like being around nice people because they are nice, not because they are gay, straight, black, white, Baptist, Catholic, atheists, agnostics or even if they flew in from Mars. Nice people are nice people, and unpleasant people are unpleasant people because of who they are, and not because of what their ethnic background or orientations are.

    I wish Josh and his family all that they deserve. A long and happy life together. To those who have left the Church over this issue, please come back. We love you, and we need you.

  • atl134 Salt Lake City, UT
    Dec. 21, 2012 1:32 a.m.

    I cannot see a circumstance where i would want to be in a sexual relationship with someone of the same gender. Because I'm straight. I don't care how much I like those friends, I just wouldn't be attracted to them in that way. So for someone with attractions to one gender to be in a healthy sexual relationship with someone of the other gender... there has to be some level of attraction to both. That's what the Kinsey scale shows.

  • O'really Idaho Falls, ID
    Dec. 20, 2012 8:02 p.m.

    There actually is more to life than sex. It's highly possible for a may who has same gender attractions to love and be married to a woman and for both of them to be completely content. To those who don't believe that, it requires charity from you to just live and let live. Perhaps as much as is required of heterosexuals to be accepting of those who choose the gay lifestyle. Why must you insist they are being untrue to their genuine selves? They are simply putting other things above sex and that's OK!!

  • gigi_gorgeous New York, NY
    Dec. 20, 2012 7:25 p.m.

    So, if I am consumed by thoughts which are questionable/evil, it is okay as long as I don't act on those thoughts???? Absolutely not.

  • RanchHand Huntsville, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 5:12 p.m.

    @procuradorfiscal;

    I'm gay and I really couldn't care less if someone like Josh is gay and wants to marry a woman. We don't hate him and people like him (we know way too many of them).

    That said, using men like Josh to try and FORCE the rest of us to live a "heterosexual lifestyle" or be celibate is offensive and disgusting.

    BTW: We are more than willing to leave you alone, you're the ones voting on our lives though, we're not voting on yours.

    @Baccus0902 & Wendell;

    My story is almost the same as yours. Once I finally prayed that I was going to stop trying to change and accept myself, all the guilt, all the self-hate, all the agony vanished and has never come back. That was over 30 years ago.

    Most of the people comparing us to men/woman who are attracted to *many* of the opposite sex who manage to *control* their urges are forgetting one thing: Those men/women HAVE AN OUTLET in the person they've married.

  • Julie R. Kearns, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 4:55 p.m.

    There is no where in the church doctrine that says that a member of the church must be married in this life or they are damned to hell never to live in the Celestial Kingdom with God. There are tons of members who identify as heterosexual who never get married in this life for one reason or another. That does not mean that they will not get the full blessings that Heavenly Father promises to all who follow Jesus Christ's commandments. Why should it be different for those who identify as homosexual? They are not forced to get married. If they cannot build a relationship like the Weed family, they aren't expected to get married. They are expected to follow all of Jesus Christ's commandments just as non-homosexuals are expected to live all of Jesus Christ's commandments. I have no idea why people experience homosexuality. I am not God and do not have His understanding, therefore I cannot fully understand. Yet. I know that after this life all things will be made right. All pains, all hurts, all wrongs, all things. I do not believe that there will be homosexuality in heaven. (continued.....)

  • Julie R. Kearns, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 4:50 p.m.

    (continuing as I ran out of space) I DO believe that all of us who struggle in life, which is everyone, will be made whole. Homosexuals and heterosexuals who follow Jesus Christ's commandments are expected to not have ANY sexual relationship that is not between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully married. That means no sexual acts for a straight man that is not with his legal wife, as well, people. No pre-marital sex, no extra-marital sex. It is the same for homosexuals. If a person cannot be married, they should not be having sex with anyone. EVERYONE is expected to overcome the base nature's of our bodies and live a higher law so that we can have what God has. Why would we not want to have everything? Follow Jesus Christ will all your heart, might, mind, and strength. Show love and service to everyone. Make yourself better than you are. You will come out happier than anything the world can do for you. Merry Christmas!

  • procuradorfiscal Tooele, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 4:47 p.m.

    Re: "My biggest concern is for when Mr Weed realizes he is living a lie . . . ."

    As I said, grow up, live your life, let others do the same. Real people are more concerned for people like you than we are for him.

    It's not a lie for Josh to love God and his wife, any more than it is for a hetero husband. Each should be committed to the one he loves and resist temptation to sleep with others.

    You'll learn that when you grow up -- hopefully, before you get married.

  • Just Jargon Orem, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 4:25 p.m.

    It seems to me, and I may be wrong, but I see no difference in being attracted to the same sex, or being a man or woman--attracted to many members of the opposite sex. The point that remains, what you do about it. If you ACT on either one, you will need to repent. IF you exercise self-control, take up your cross and do NOT act on the attractions, you are on the correct path. Having SEX is not, as I understand, essential to happiness, nor necessary. Only God can figure the rest on that, but experiences, childhood exposure to sexuality, and maybe in rare cases--from earliest memories...all play a part in the ensuing sexual directions we take.
    If you are plain old heterosexual, and have NO sexual temptations, I guarantee you DO have temptations that YOU must deal with. Best deal with those and love everyone else, and have compassion and say, "There but for God, go I." And darn well be glad you aren't walking in the tough shoes of another!!!! Thank-you God for my trials, and thank-you for sparing me others I might not be able to contend with!

  • moniker lewinsky Taylorsville, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 4:21 p.m.

    Wrong side of history.

  • Baccus0902 Leesburg, VA
    Dec. 20, 2012 4:20 p.m.

    Procurador Fiscal

    You wrote: "Why do LGBT activists insist that everyone who identifies him/herself as same-sex attracted is required to live the life they live?"

    How did you reach that conclusion? Never heard anything like that.
    I think you are missing the point.

    If Mr. Weed and his wife have found true happiness and true fulfillment in their lives, I think we all feel happy for them.

    There is not threat to them or hate, on the contrary, because we can imagine how challenging that can be I'm sure that most gay people feel love and send our prayers for their happiness.

    Yes, many of us gay people, pray, read the scriptures, examine our daily lives, and do many things that heterosexual people do. The biggest difference is in the privacy of our bedrooms.

    We really don't hate heterosexuals, actually we love many people who are heterosexuals, mother, father, brothers and sisters, uncles, aunts, co-workers, etc.

    My dear Procurador Fiscal those who feel negativity toward a different sexual orientation are usually heterosexuals. We gays are used to you people (like we had a choice :-) more than that, we love you as our friends and family.

  • Built2Last Provo, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 4:15 p.m.

    To SoCalChris:

    "I can't imagine what it's like to have to choose between what you believe and what your sex drive tells you."

    Yes you can if you had a sex drive at all. The natural tendencies (natural man?) in all of us would dictate that we have sexual relations with any willing partner as often as we are inclined to do so. That aspect of this is no different between hetero- and homosexuals. But that is one of the main purposes of life is to control those natural tendencies and not let them rule our lives so we can become more like our Father.

    With regards to a homosexual man living in a heterosexual marriage, based on conversations with friends and siblings, there are lots of men, I dare say the majority, whose marital relations are no where near the elaborate fantasies portrayed by Hollywood and/or envisioned in school boy fantasies of what marriage would one day be like. I bet the relationship of a homosexual man married to a woman is probably real similar to that of a 15-year married couple. And the woman, depending on her nature, is probably much happier.

  • Noodlekaboodle Millcreek, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 3:58 p.m.

    @procuradorfiscal
    Who forced the Weeds to put their life out there on display for the public too look at? Not me. I would guess it was their choice. My biggest concern is for when Mr Weed realizes he is living a lie, has a gay affair and devastates his wife and kids. My ex brother in law and my sister did this exact same thing. 10 years and 4 kids later he and my sister decided that living a lie and being miserable couldn't be gods plan. Face it, if this man is gay and trying to pretend he is straight it won't work. Eventually the truth comes out. No matter how hard you try. You can't fit a square peg into a round hole without breaking the peg. Maybe Mr. Weed is confused and not really gay, maybe he is bisexual, I hope that it works. I just have seen from personal experience that a truly gay man isn't going to be happy in a straight relationship. Just like you or I wouldn't be happy in a gay relationship, because we aren't gay.

  • PA Gardener Towanda, PA
    Dec. 20, 2012 3:23 p.m.

    All I could think after reading Josh's article was the words/music: "Kindly Heaven smiles above ... "

    This was an awesome article. Thanks for sharing. I felt the power and spirit of your message.

  • procuradorfiscal Tooele, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 3:06 p.m.

    Re: "I personally wouldn't sentence myself to that life of pain and martyrdom."

    Neither would Josh and Lolly.

    And, if you can't understand why two people who love one another and their God find those a stronger attraction than wild sex, and why they would make adjustments in their lives to please God and one another, and to be together for eternity, I suggest you're not ready for marriage to your girlfriend, even if she is attracted to short, Irish men.

    Grow up, live whatever life you think will make you happy, and let Josh and Lolly do the same.

  • Noodlekaboodle Millcreek, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 2:43 p.m.

    @LDSrChristians
    I was reversing what the Bible says because i'm straight, and was trying to think about what it would be like to marry someone i'm not attracted to because it's what i'm supposed to do.

  • Noodlekaboodle Millcreek, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 2:43 p.m.

    @procuradorfiscal
    I don't care what Mr Weed and his wife do. It's their life not mine. But I am allowed to says that I don't get it. If you are gay it means you are attracted to men, not women correct? So why would his wife marry him and have three kids if she knows that he will never be attracted to her? If my girlfriend was to tell me that she was only attracted to women I wouldn't have had my child with her and I wouldn't still be in a relationship. However, being gay isn't the only reason that I wouldn't understand why someone would stay in a relationship. If my girlfriend told me she ONLY like tall, dark hairy men I wouldn't be dating her either(I'm short and Irish). I just don't understand why you would date someone who will never be attracted to you. I personally wouldn't sentence myself to that life of pain and martyrdom.

  • wendell provo, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 2:36 p.m.

    @Baccus0902
    I could not agree more. I knew I was gay by the time I was 5 or 6 years old. I also knew, because of the teachings of the church, that it was shameful, wrong, and pretty much perverted to have those feelings. So...I spent nearly every moment of my life doing EVERYTHING the Lord required of me in order to "fix" me.

    I prayed, fasted, studied the scriptures, attended the temple, begged and pleaded with God, and went through all sorts of therapy to get fixed. I was a terrible emotional mess and had reached the very end of my rope. Finally, when I was approaching 40 years old, I had had more than enough. I was desperate for a resolution, was absolutely miserable with myself, and simply could do no more.
    So...I came to see that there were only two possible options for me:
    Either God was not who he said he was because he refused to "Fix me"
    or
    God did not believe being gay was something that needed to be changed.

    I chose the latter, do not regret that choice, and have never been happier in my entire life.

  • procuradorfiscal Tooele, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 2:17 p.m.

    Re: ". . . why not let them just be themselves?"

    Yeah -- why not?

    Why do LGBT activists insist that everyone who identifies him/herself as same-sex attracted is required to live the life they live?

    Why not just let Josh be Josh? And Lolly be Lolly? And not try to tell them what is or is not a lie in their lives, or what they should or shouldn't do?

    Who died and elected you Pope?

  • LDSareChristians Anchorage, AK
    Dec. 20, 2012 2:18 p.m.

    Re: "As a straight guy I can't imagine marrying a man just because a 2000 year old book says to."

    Noodlekaboodle,

    Either you or I am missing something here. I assume by 2000 year old book you are referring to the Bible. I am not aware that the Bible says a man must marry a man.

  • Noodlekaboodle Millcreek, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 1:48 p.m.

    As a straight guy I can't imagine marrying a man just because a 2000 year old book says to. I also can't imagine sleeping with a man(this dude has 3 kids so he's done it at least that many times) because my parents and "god" told me too. Plus, I can't imagine how his wife feels, because if Mr. Weed is truly gay he wouldn't be attracted to his wife, which has to be difficult for her. Instead of trying to encourage people to live a lie by marrying someone they aren't attracted too why not let them just be themselves?

  • SoCalChris Riverside, CA
    Dec. 20, 2012 1:44 p.m.

    panamadesnews,

    Thanks for saying what I meant to say. I don't want to equate my challenges a straight male with the law of chastity with a gay individual's challenge. For what it's worth, I can recall that as a missionary I was able to completely tune out sexual thoughts for 2 years at a time when hormones are raging. But I understand the huge difference. It certainly helped to know that one day my longings could be satisfied.

    I have profound respect for someone like Josh Weed who is able to channel his feeling and live the way his faith tells him he should.

  • panamadesnews Lindon, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 1:10 p.m.

    To Theidma: What is the difference of having a gay husband have feelings for a man and a straight husband having feelings for another woman. In both instances, the husband would need to control those feelings - feelings for a very manly looking man and feelings for a very beautiful, well endowed woman. I have to remind myself sometimes that "she is one of heavenly father's daughters" and I should not and do not want to have thoughts about her that I should not have. Same goes for a gay man who, seeing a man that is "interesting to him", generates thoughts. Not being gay, I do not know what generates "thoughts" in a gay man - whether it is a man's physique, or some other quality of that person - but he has to control those thoughts just as I do. It would probably be much more difficult for a coach, a trainer, a doctor or nurse, or someone that has close physical contact with others, to control those thoughts, but they have to learn to control them. When we do not control those thought, whether straight or gay/lesbian, that is when we are asking for trouble.

  • luv2organize Gainesville, VA
    Dec. 20, 2012 12:44 p.m.

    I guess I'm torn on this whole website and focus that the church is putting on gay people that are members of the church. Obviously I need to sustain my leaders because they have a greater understanding then I do in these circumstances. I just find it interesting that the percentage of gay people is a very small minority and yet the focus is so large and consuming. Not all people fit into the church perfectly - just ask a single woman with or without children or a married couple without children. Do we really need all of this "education?"

  • ImaCaMan Oceanside, CA
    Dec. 20, 2012 12:33 p.m.

    Having public pressure to influence a homosexual to enter into a faux marriage is not the Church's accepting homosexuality and being accepting to gays. I fail to see all of the excitement over this website. These "marriages" seem rather sick to me.

  • American First Merced, CA
    Dec. 20, 2012 12:22 p.m.

    Joshua Weed mentions being worried about how members of the Church would react to his blog post, the real threat he should've considered is the one from the LGBT/Progressive Community when they found out he was a gay man trying to recover from his 'condition'...again a progressive Mormon aims his frustration inward and goes after the easy target..."other Mormons" and in doing so casts judgement and insults the intelligence of the silent Mormon minority who have never had a problem with gay people.

  • SoCalChris Riverside, CA
    Dec. 20, 2012 12:03 p.m.

    cjb, I've followed Josh Weed's blog for a while. It is all about the fulfillment they feel in their marriage.

    My heart goes out to gay people, and particularly to LDS gays. I can't imagine what it's like to have to choose between what you believe and what your sex drive tells you. Actually I can--to some degree.

  • Runner Chandler, AZ
    Dec. 20, 2012 11:59 a.m.

    Chris B. We should get together We'd drive each other crazy talking about college football but on important issues like this I have to say I agree with you.

    Being kind and compassionate to others in the truest sense of the word, is the important thing.

    And I am mormon.

  • cjb Bountiful, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 11:47 a.m.

    The LDS church teaches that Gays shouldn't fulfill themselves in the way they would want. Many believe this enough to follow this. If this isn't actually true it is a crime to tell people this and rob them of so much happiness. Churches I assume will be held accountable by God for the needless damage they do to peoples lives.

    I am curious, is there any fulfillment when a Gay marries a person of the opposite sex? Or is it just going through the motions for the sake of obedience? Are people who marry these gays being fulfilled? Or do they find in their spouse a great lack of excitement and passion, which then deprives them of a normal marriage.

    If anyone out there knows, would you mind answering these questions?

  • AveragePerson WEST JORDAN, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 11:44 a.m.

    @theidama -- You should read his post that is linked in this article. It answers some of your questions.

    I have been a member of the church for 50 years. When I was in high school, I pretty much thought gay meant happy. It was right after that when AIDS came to the forefront. I've always felt that gay or straight, LDS, other denomination, whatever else is different than "me", it was my job to be a friend and to be kind and compassionate to others. What a wonderful article. Thank you for publishing your story, Josh, and to your sweet wife and family.

  • Aleks16 South Weber, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 11:39 a.m.

    It is not acceptance when you focus on a fraction of the community that marries an opposite sex partner. That inturn makes them not gay, bisexual more likely. This is just another attempt, that is completely wrong and offensive. We accept you as long as you marry, have kids and probably hurt your spouse in the end.

  • Baccus0902 Leesburg, VA
    Dec. 20, 2012 11:37 a.m.

    I support the Weed family and I wish them the best.

    However, I agree with "Wendell's comment", I worry and claim confusion about the church position and question the wisdom of a homosexual person entering into a heterosexual relationship.

    As a boy,I always knew I was different, I prayed to God every night to change me or to take me with him.I served my mission and I dedicated every second of those two years hoping for God to cure me. I dated girls. I wanted to get married because that I thought "God" expected of me.

    I promised to myself I wouldn't marry until I knew I was cured.I couldn't bear the thougt of deceiving my wife and future children.

    I talked to church leaders,went through reparative therapy to no avail.

    Many years ago I kneeled and I told God that I was giving up my search for a cure. God answered my prayer with love and the understanding that he didn't expect for me to change, I was his son and he loved me just the way I was.

    My partner of 30 years, our daughter and God, form my happy family.

  • Feliz Kaysville, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 11:09 a.m.

    @Utes Fan,

    You amusingly forgot to mention that the homosexual community will also hate Joshua for his message.

  • theidma New York City, NY
    Dec. 20, 2012 10:45 a.m.

    Wow! Why would any woman know that a man is gay, and then proceed with the marriage? If she found out later in the marriage, why would she not work with him to change that lifestyle, and identify as a HETEROSEXUAL married man?! If he can't change his homosexual lifestyle or thought process, because 'he was born like that' should his significant other not be a man?
    Seems like the LDS church has made marriage almost become an idol for some, that they would do anything, and marry just anyone, just be called married! In my opinion, so that they can have children, mostly for LDS bragging rights! Just to put things in perspective, I am an LDS woman, who is married to a wonderful, loving man. I know marriage is ordained of God.

    I have several gay friends, and I know that they should be treated with love and respect. However, my understanding is that being a gay man means you are sexually attracted to men. How do these 'wives' handle that? Why would they say they are 'happily married'?

    Well, kudos to the church for creating a platform where ALL members of the church can feel welcomed.

  • kmcoats Redding, CA
    Dec. 20, 2012 9:53 a.m.

    I am LDS, and I am happily married to a man who is gay. This website is a god sent, and I think it reaches out to a population that has suffered so much and struggles. I know that he felt loved and accepted by this website.

    It is possible for someone who has same gender attraction, or someone who is bi sexual to be in a heterosexual relationship, and be happy, but it requires work, prayer, love and understanding.

    Kudos to you Joshua for sharing your story, and know that you are not alone! I think as a church we need to talk about this!

  • chelseam bountiful, ut
    Dec. 20, 2012 9:41 a.m.

    Go Josh! I hope he and his family, and all the LGBT community, know how much love there is for them within the church - the same as we have for all people. Everyone is a Child of God. We all have our struggles and challenges we must face in this life. I admire those who choose not to lose their faith and values in the face of challenges, whatever they may be.

    And I love the Church's official statement, "The experience of same-sex attraction is a complex reality for many people. The attraction itself is not a sin, but acting on it is. Even though individuals do not choose to have such attractions, they do choose how to respond to them. With love and understanding, the Church reaches out to all God’s children, including our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters."

  • roswell Saint George, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 9:40 a.m.

    A good article and a Christlike approach to a controversial issue. Wish I could have been at the meeting. However, I still believe there is a lot of misinformation and dishonesty by the gay lobby. First is the coopted term "gay", which is non-descriptor coined to make homosexuality more palatable to the public. What doesit really mean? A same-sex attraction? The homosexual community is diverse group of people, some of whom their whole identity is tied up in their sexuality and flaunt it, others who have attraction to those of their same gender, but perhaps attraction to the opposite as well. Many homosexuals are so adamant that their attraction is purely genetic so as to eliminate any role of volition in our sexuality...a position that is scientifically untenable, yet it is rarely challenged. I will be interested to see the responses to my comments from the more rabid part of the spectrum. But if we are to have an honest discussion about homosexuality let's be honest, and discuss the several ways homosexuality has a negative influence on traditional marriage and society.

  • Chris B Salt Lake City, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 9:19 a.m.

    Why I like the website:

    1. It reminds us all to be kind to others.

    2. It stands firm on right being right and wrong being wrong. And marriage and sexual relationships are only right between one man and one woman.

    And I'm not even a Mormon

  • procuradorfiscal Tooele, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 9:11 a.m.

    Re: "The LDS church needs to let other people live their lives without interference."

    So does the LGBT community.

  • Utes Fan Salt Lake City, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 8:57 a.m.

    Keep talking and posting, Joshua. The world needs your message. Though there are people who will deliberately choose to hate you, the Church, church members, etc. you are helping the good roll forward, and you have plenty of supporters.

    I know it must require tremendous courage to come forward with your message. It sometimes takes courage to just post an opinion anonymously on a message board like this. I can't imagine the courage it took to post your blog. I admire that.

  • Born that Way Layton, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 8:52 a.m.

    The church website serves many people:

    1. It fosters understanding between the membership and those who experience same-gender attraction.

    2. It encourages members of the church to empathy even when those who experience same gender attraction choose not to follow church covenants.

    3. It provides an alternative voice to the world's position that the only happy gay is one that is openly gay living the openly gay lifestyle in all its most cliche'd and stereotypical ways. In a way the church's alternative offers gays more freedom.

    4. It enables them to know they are not alone if they choose to do something other than what the world tells them to do.

    5. It heals families that have been divided on this issue or don't know how to show love without the fear they will somehow corrupt their other family members. It pleads for patience and connection.

    6. It has real testimonials of those who have endured and still have testimonies.

    7. It does a lot more than just represent one perspective. It's a needed resource to those walking a path of faith and feel forces that could pull them off that path.

  • SLC gal Salt Lake City, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 8:38 a.m.

    I'm glad to see the church get a little louder with the message that LDS people DO NOT hate gay/homosexuals! Props to the Weeds. I think you are an incredibly brave family, as are the people who are sharing their stories on the new website. I admire your strength!

  • wendell provo, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 8:20 a.m.

    While I respect Mr. Weed, and even support him in doing what he chooses to do, I would like to point out that when I had been married ten years, I was 100% committed to living a heterosexual lifestyle, living as an active Latter-Day-Saint for the rest of my life, and never giving in to my homosexual feelings. However, there came a point in life, where I simply could not pretend anymore, and after 20 years of marriage I finallly accepted my sexuality. I am now living what I feel is a genuine lifestyle, and for the first time in my life I am truly content and happy with who I am. For the first time ever, I can honestly say that I know God loves me. I sincerely hope that Joshua will be able to maintain his chosen lifestyle as he says he intends to. Good luck to him, and also to his lovely wife.

  • Ranch Here, UT
    Dec. 20, 2012 6:30 a.m.

    To each his own. The LDS church needs to let other people live their lives without interference. That includes marrying the person you love, whether the opposite sex or the same.

  • JoeBlow Far East USA, SC
    Dec. 20, 2012 6:04 a.m.

    These mormonsandgays articles all seem to be about homosexuals who decided to marry and have children and lived happily ever after.

    I don't know the numbers, but I would bet that they are focusing on the minority.

  • lookup Selah, WA
    Dec. 20, 2012 3:52 a.m.

    To Joshua and your wife, thank you for your bravery and for being in tune with the Spirit. My experience with homosexuality has been limited and the one close friend I have that is gay won't talk to me about it and has left the church. It does my heart good to know there are people like you, living heterosexual lifestyles and not giving up the fight to live the gospel. Thank you for your example!

  • poyman Lincoln City, OR
    Dec. 20, 2012 1:12 a.m.

    I'm sorry, but I don't get it... The math doesn't work for me...

    I don't beieve that being gay is genetic and until someone can prove that it is to me, all of this just adds up to being a "show" or an exercise in "Political Correctness"... All God's children deserve love and respect but that doesn't mean it's "okay"... How are their kids being raised? What are they being taught? The Bible seems pretty clear to me on this issue... I don't even want to get into the detail of how this managed everyday...

    It's wrong and the Church needs to hold to that position unless they want to discount scritural teachings or put a spin on it that probably would make little sense to me... Again, someone show me irrefutable evidence that it is genetic and then I'll be quiet but until then, it's not alright in my book... I will teach my children and grandchildren tollerance, but I will not teach them that it is an acceptable practice.

  • Chris B Salt Lake City, UT
    Dec. 19, 2012 8:24 p.m.

    Why I like it.. It reminds us to be nice to all but reminds us that at the end of the day wrong is wrong. And homosexual relations are wrong. And I am not even a Mormon!

  • Hutterite American Fork, UT
    Dec. 19, 2012 8:12 p.m.

    I bet you can find some gay folks that are singularly unimpressed...

  • John Brown 1000 Laketown, UT
    Dec. 19, 2012 8:03 p.m.

    Thanks for this article!

  • Ricardo Carvalho Provo, UT
    Dec. 19, 2012 5:53 p.m.

    As a member of the same faith, I am pleased to see the progress being made in accepting our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters. We know at least two families like the Weeds and have been impressed with their faith in the face of a church and its membership that have to date not always been understanding of the challenge and, in may cases, even hostile. To be able to look beyond that response and stay with that which you believe to be true is an extremely difficulty challenge I imagine. May God bless you and others in similar circumstances. Equally important, may God bless the rest of us to act with Christ-like love to those who have not always felt welcome under the umbrella of the LDS church.