Comments about ‘Joshua Weed: Why I love the LDS Church's new MormonsandGays.org website’

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Published: Wednesday, Dec. 19 2012 3:00 p.m. MST

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Aleks16
South Weber, UT

It is not acceptance when you focus on a fraction of the community that marries an opposite sex partner. That inturn makes them not gay, bisexual more likely. This is just another attempt, that is completely wrong and offensive. We accept you as long as you marry, have kids and probably hurt your spouse in the end.

AveragePerson
WEST JORDAN, UT

@theidama -- You should read his post that is linked in this article. It answers some of your questions.

I have been a member of the church for 50 years. When I was in high school, I pretty much thought gay meant happy. It was right after that when AIDS came to the forefront. I've always felt that gay or straight, LDS, other denomination, whatever else is different than "me", it was my job to be a friend and to be kind and compassionate to others. What a wonderful article. Thank you for publishing your story, Josh, and to your sweet wife and family.

cjb
Bountiful, UT

The LDS church teaches that Gays shouldn't fulfill themselves in the way they would want. Many believe this enough to follow this. If this isn't actually true it is a crime to tell people this and rob them of so much happiness. Churches I assume will be held accountable by God for the needless damage they do to peoples lives.

I am curious, is there any fulfillment when a Gay marries a person of the opposite sex? Or is it just going through the motions for the sake of obedience? Are people who marry these gays being fulfilled? Or do they find in their spouse a great lack of excitement and passion, which then deprives them of a normal marriage.

If anyone out there knows, would you mind answering these questions?

Runner
Chandler, AZ

Chris B. We should get together We'd drive each other crazy talking about college football but on important issues like this I have to say I agree with you.

Being kind and compassionate to others in the truest sense of the word, is the important thing.

And I am mormon.

SoCalChris
Riverside, CA

cjb, I've followed Josh Weed's blog for a while. It is all about the fulfillment they feel in their marriage.

My heart goes out to gay people, and particularly to LDS gays. I can't imagine what it's like to have to choose between what you believe and what your sex drive tells you. Actually I can--to some degree.

American First
Merced, CA

Joshua Weed mentions being worried about how members of the Church would react to his blog post, the real threat he should've considered is the one from the LGBT/Progressive Community when they found out he was a gay man trying to recover from his 'condition'...again a progressive Mormon aims his frustration inward and goes after the easy target..."other Mormons" and in doing so casts judgement and insults the intelligence of the silent Mormon minority who have never had a problem with gay people.

ImaCaMan
Oceanside, CA

Having public pressure to influence a homosexual to enter into a faux marriage is not the Church's accepting homosexuality and being accepting to gays. I fail to see all of the excitement over this website. These "marriages" seem rather sick to me.

luv2organize
Gainesville, VA

I guess I'm torn on this whole website and focus that the church is putting on gay people that are members of the church. Obviously I need to sustain my leaders because they have a greater understanding then I do in these circumstances. I just find it interesting that the percentage of gay people is a very small minority and yet the focus is so large and consuming. Not all people fit into the church perfectly - just ask a single woman with or without children or a married couple without children. Do we really need all of this "education?"

panamadesnews
Lindon, UT

To Theidma: What is the difference of having a gay husband have feelings for a man and a straight husband having feelings for another woman. In both instances, the husband would need to control those feelings - feelings for a very manly looking man and feelings for a very beautiful, well endowed woman. I have to remind myself sometimes that "she is one of heavenly father's daughters" and I should not and do not want to have thoughts about her that I should not have. Same goes for a gay man who, seeing a man that is "interesting to him", generates thoughts. Not being gay, I do not know what generates "thoughts" in a gay man - whether it is a man's physique, or some other quality of that person - but he has to control those thoughts just as I do. It would probably be much more difficult for a coach, a trainer, a doctor or nurse, or someone that has close physical contact with others, to control those thoughts, but they have to learn to control them. When we do not control those thought, whether straight or gay/lesbian, that is when we are asking for trouble.

SoCalChris
Riverside, CA

panamadesnews,

Thanks for saying what I meant to say. I don't want to equate my challenges a straight male with the law of chastity with a gay individual's challenge. For what it's worth, I can recall that as a missionary I was able to completely tune out sexual thoughts for 2 years at a time when hormones are raging. But I understand the huge difference. It certainly helped to know that one day my longings could be satisfied.

I have profound respect for someone like Josh Weed who is able to channel his feeling and live the way his faith tells him he should.

Noodlekaboodle
Millcreek, UT

As a straight guy I can't imagine marrying a man just because a 2000 year old book says to. I also can't imagine sleeping with a man(this dude has 3 kids so he's done it at least that many times) because my parents and "god" told me too. Plus, I can't imagine how his wife feels, because if Mr. Weed is truly gay he wouldn't be attracted to his wife, which has to be difficult for her. Instead of trying to encourage people to live a lie by marrying someone they aren't attracted too why not let them just be themselves?

LDSareChristians
Anchorage, AK

Re: "As a straight guy I can't imagine marrying a man just because a 2000 year old book says to."

Noodlekaboodle,

Either you or I am missing something here. I assume by 2000 year old book you are referring to the Bible. I am not aware that the Bible says a man must marry a man.

procuradorfiscal
Tooele, UT

Re: ". . . why not let them just be themselves?"

Yeah -- why not?

Why do LGBT activists insist that everyone who identifies him/herself as same-sex attracted is required to live the life they live?

Why not just let Josh be Josh? And Lolly be Lolly? And not try to tell them what is or is not a lie in their lives, or what they should or shouldn't do?

Who died and elected you Pope?

wendell
provo, UT

@Baccus0902
I could not agree more. I knew I was gay by the time I was 5 or 6 years old. I also knew, because of the teachings of the church, that it was shameful, wrong, and pretty much perverted to have those feelings. So...I spent nearly every moment of my life doing EVERYTHING the Lord required of me in order to "fix" me.

I prayed, fasted, studied the scriptures, attended the temple, begged and pleaded with God, and went through all sorts of therapy to get fixed. I was a terrible emotional mess and had reached the very end of my rope. Finally, when I was approaching 40 years old, I had had more than enough. I was desperate for a resolution, was absolutely miserable with myself, and simply could do no more.
So...I came to see that there were only two possible options for me:
Either God was not who he said he was because he refused to "Fix me"
or
God did not believe being gay was something that needed to be changed.

I chose the latter, do not regret that choice, and have never been happier in my entire life.

Noodlekaboodle
Millcreek, UT

@procuradorfiscal
I don't care what Mr Weed and his wife do. It's their life not mine. But I am allowed to says that I don't get it. If you are gay it means you are attracted to men, not women correct? So why would his wife marry him and have three kids if she knows that he will never be attracted to her? If my girlfriend was to tell me that she was only attracted to women I wouldn't have had my child with her and I wouldn't still be in a relationship. However, being gay isn't the only reason that I wouldn't understand why someone would stay in a relationship. If my girlfriend told me she ONLY like tall, dark hairy men I wouldn't be dating her either(I'm short and Irish). I just don't understand why you would date someone who will never be attracted to you. I personally wouldn't sentence myself to that life of pain and martyrdom.

Noodlekaboodle
Millcreek, UT

@LDSrChristians
I was reversing what the Bible says because i'm straight, and was trying to think about what it would be like to marry someone i'm not attracted to because it's what i'm supposed to do.

procuradorfiscal
Tooele, UT

Re: "I personally wouldn't sentence myself to that life of pain and martyrdom."

Neither would Josh and Lolly.

And, if you can't understand why two people who love one another and their God find those a stronger attraction than wild sex, and why they would make adjustments in their lives to please God and one another, and to be together for eternity, I suggest you're not ready for marriage to your girlfriend, even if she is attracted to short, Irish men.

Grow up, live whatever life you think will make you happy, and let Josh and Lolly do the same.

PA Gardener
Towanda, PA

All I could think after reading Josh's article was the words/music: "Kindly Heaven smiles above ... "

This was an awesome article. Thanks for sharing. I felt the power and spirit of your message.

Noodlekaboodle
Millcreek, UT

@procuradorfiscal
Who forced the Weeds to put their life out there on display for the public too look at? Not me. I would guess it was their choice. My biggest concern is for when Mr Weed realizes he is living a lie, has a gay affair and devastates his wife and kids. My ex brother in law and my sister did this exact same thing. 10 years and 4 kids later he and my sister decided that living a lie and being miserable couldn't be gods plan. Face it, if this man is gay and trying to pretend he is straight it won't work. Eventually the truth comes out. No matter how hard you try. You can't fit a square peg into a round hole without breaking the peg. Maybe Mr. Weed is confused and not really gay, maybe he is bisexual, I hope that it works. I just have seen from personal experience that a truly gay man isn't going to be happy in a straight relationship. Just like you or I wouldn't be happy in a gay relationship, because we aren't gay.

Built2Last
Provo, UT

To SoCalChris:

"I can't imagine what it's like to have to choose between what you believe and what your sex drive tells you."

Yes you can if you had a sex drive at all. The natural tendencies (natural man?) in all of us would dictate that we have sexual relations with any willing partner as often as we are inclined to do so. That aspect of this is no different between hetero- and homosexuals. But that is one of the main purposes of life is to control those natural tendencies and not let them rule our lives so we can become more like our Father.

With regards to a homosexual man living in a heterosexual marriage, based on conversations with friends and siblings, there are lots of men, I dare say the majority, whose marital relations are no where near the elaborate fantasies portrayed by Hollywood and/or envisioned in school boy fantasies of what marriage would one day be like. I bet the relationship of a homosexual man married to a woman is probably real similar to that of a 15-year married couple. And the woman, depending on her nature, is probably much happier.

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