Comments about ‘Del. man sues Boy Scouts, Mormons over sex abuse’

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Published: Wednesday, Dec. 12 2012 4:20 p.m. MST

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War dog
Taylorsville, UT

I had experienced child abuse, it did'nt make me a loser

Kalindra
Salt Lake City, Utah

@ War dog: Let me see if I understand your position: Someone committed a crime against you and you took no action to hold them or those who knew about the crime and enabled its occurrence accountable and now you are advocating that no victims of similar crimes should be able to hold involved parties accountable, is that correct? Additionally, you feel victims if crimes who hold the criminals accountable are losers, right?

Does this only apply to crimes against children or crimes that involve sexual assault, or do you feel that way about all crimes? Are people who are injured by drunk drivers and file insurance claims and/or lawsuits losers? What about the guy whose store is robbed? What about the families if murder victims?

Kalindra
Salt Lake City, Utah

Or maybe it is the mental health issues he suffered that make you think he is a loser. Do you consider vets with PTSD losers?

War dog
Taylorsville, UT

Kalindra

You are right, you don't understand, and based on your response, you never could

Kalindra
Salt Lake City, Utah

Actually, War Dog, I understand all too well. But I am also able to see beyond myself and know that not all victims of crimes and not all those exposed to extreme trauma react the same - and to denigrate a crime victim or a trauma survivor because their response was different than mine downplays the severity of what we both went through and/or are going through and can cause new trauma and victimization.

I am glad you survived your abuse so well. It is too bad you have to cheapen that survival by acting like what you went through was no big deal and calling those who do suffer long-lasting ill effects losers.

Did you know many perpetrators claim sexually abusing young children isn't a big deal and shouldn't be treated so harshly because, hey - the kid didn't really suffer any harmful effects.

Comments like yours make it easier for abusers to justify their actions - that is where the harm in your statement comes in.

War dog
Taylorsville, UT

When did I say it wasn't big deal, you don't see beyond yourself, all you see is yourself. You comment on statements and inject your own position , and don't have clue as to what happened in their case, but you make stuff up. Like PTSD you have no clue as to what it's like

George
Bronx, NY

@Wardog
The very fact that you think it is alright to blame the victim rebders your first comment suspect at best.

George
Bronx, NY

Sorry renders not rebders.

Redshirt1701
Deep Space 9, Ut

To "Kalindra" there are many cases where people were abused in terrible ways, yet they were able to overcome the abuse and become productive lives. The guy in this story is blaming the Scouts and the LDS church for his inability to do something with his life.

Take a look at Elizabeth Smart. She was abused for a long time. Now, she is a returned missionary, news contributor, spokesperson for missing and endangered children, and a wife. She has made herself highly succesful. Why can't this guy?

War dog
Taylorsville, UT

All this guy is about is the money

lost in DC
West Jordan, UT

Redshirt1701,
some people look for excuses, others look to overcome - Elizabeth is one of the latter, this guy is one of the former. I don't know where Kalindra sits in the spectrum.

To point out that some overcome and some wallow is not to justify or make light of the abuse or personal tragedies, but points to admirable qualities in others.

I have a colleague who has suffered some horrendous set-backs in his personal life, yet he is upbeat and as giving a person as you could want to find. Some can deal with things, others choose not to.

Tolstoy
salt lake, UT

@lost and redshirt
So based on your narrow information on this situation you have determined that this man is "wallowing" I am sorry but you can try to justify it in anyway you want you are making light of this situation and laying the blame on the victim who you seem to think needs to just get over it.

Redshirt1701
Deep Space 9, Ut

To "Tolstoy" I am not saying that he "needs to just get over it", but am saying that he has allowed the trauma to be an excuse for personal failures. I doubt that Elizabeth Smart has been able to "get over" her ordeal. She has not allowed her ordeal to confine her or limit her in any way.

This man is using the excuse that what he went through has prevented him from doing anything with his life. Yes he was hurt, and yes he has some emotinal scars. However, he doesn't have to let those limit his life. He has chosen to allow the abuse to limit his life.

George
Bronx, NY

@lost in dc
So once again how do you justify such a sweeping judgement of this victim based on the limited information in this one article and why is it wrong for him to hold those that failed to act responsibly for their actions if they did so?

lost in DC
West Jordan, UT

George,
See Redshirt's response at 3:11.
Are you REALLY saying what this guy suffered (yes, he suffered) is worse than what Elizabeth Smart overcame?

George
Bronx, NY

@lost
Sorry that comment was directed at redshirt but to answer your question Ian saying you not I have any idea what this person may have gone through or what type of support or resources that he may have had so maybe we should suspend judgement of this persp. That was the victim of a hideous crime.

Redshirt1701
Deep Space 9, Ut

To "George" so what you are saying is that once a victim, always a victim.

I am not worried about justice for the victim, that is being carried out through the courts. What I am talking about is victimhood mentality that was adopted and was never let go of.

The point that I have made, and will stand by is very simple, and not complicated like you are trying to make it.

What prevented this man from doing something with his life? The evidence is out there that people have suffered more, and have gone on to do great things. Why couldn't he do the same?

lost in DC
West Jordan, UT

George,
you are right, you and I do not know what he suffered, and I do grant that he suffered. Hopefully he can take Elizabeth's example and move on with his life.

Kalindra
Salt Lake City, Utah

@redshirt
How nice that you have a such a clear view of this man that you do not even know's life history.

Mister J
Salt Lake City, UT

@ War dog 12:43 p.m. Dec. 13, 2012

"All this guy is about is the money"

So? He's a Republican?

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