Comments about ‘Woman who had lived lesbian lifestyle brings hope to Mormons with same-sex attraction through LDS Church's new website’

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Published: Saturday, Dec. 8 2012 8:00 p.m. MST

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JoeBlow
Far East USA, SC

"One thing that you and so many others forget is the simple fact that God will not allow us to be tempted more than our ability to resist."

Since when is anything having to do with God, become fact?

O'really
Idaho Falls, ID

Faithinfacts...Did you read the article? She says that the way she chose may not be for everyone. Neither the Church, nor this website encourage gays and lesbians to marry at all. It was her personal choice. Marrying the opposite gender IS an option but not one mandated by the Church.

Rather than bashing someone with same gender attraction for chosing to marry the opposite gender, why not cheer them on for following their hearts desire rather than their base instincts. "...see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love..." Alma 38:12

Counter Intelligence
Salt Lake City, UT

@Mint Julip
"Pretending to be something does not make you that thing."

You have a point, but missed the larger point

Thinking/pretending to be white does not make a ethnic person white
Thinking/pretending like a man does not make a woman a man
Physical attributes are not defined by either thought or behavior
Being gay may be inspired by thoughts - but is defined by behavior
Thoughts are not truth
Feelings are not reality
I may feel like kicking my neighbors barking dog - but have never done so. I can pretend to like the dog, or not, but I am not an animal abuser because my behavior does not play out my feelings.

I have known men who where introduced into homosexuality through violent homosexual abuse as children, leaving them confused about their sexuality; yet when they began to question their feelings, they came to question whether they were really gay. They still may have good or bad memories of homosexual feelings, but they moved on. The belief that feelings inherently and permanently equals identify, is rigid and limiting gay fundamentalist dogma. Feelings change.

Feeling tolerant does not make you that thing, behavior does - even in pretense.

canyonwalker
Reno, NV

WHAT is a "lesbian lifestyle"? If people intend to say "having sex with a person of the same-sex" then THAT is what they should say. To assume that ALL gay people have the same "lifestyle" is absurd. Our icky-meter goes up when we say ANYTHING about sex and that in itself is a problem.
Next, there are actually bisexual people who are attracted at some level to both sexes. The subject can indeed be one such person. The scale runs 0 to 6. Six being fully and solely attracted to the opposite sex. People at a 5 can certainly be attracted to the opposite sex. The subject even states that her husband is a rare person that she could have married. She was attracted to HIM.
Lastly, the Bishops in LDS are in conversation with the MOST NOTED researcher on LGBT youth and rejection/acceptance issues. They invited her in years ago to closed meeting and immediately extended her time after the first presentation. She has gone back yearly. The leadership KNOWS this issue if FAR more complex than the church policies show. Sexual orientation is not sinful, it is just another normal variation of human sexuality.

cachondeo
OCEANSIDE, CA

Not meaning to be smug or insensitive, but this whole topic is really quite cut and dry/black and white. The bottom line is God has made and set commandments for his children and these commandments are to bring eternal joy and peace to his children (all of humanity). He loves all of us despite our sins and our weaknesses, but he has sent us here to learn to overcome all of our sins and our weaknesses through his help, which is mainly given by Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost, but also in many other ways.

The basic foundation must be a belief in the Godhead. If you don't have that to start with then this topic will NEVER be able to be justified for you because you will only be influenced by science, philosophy, and doctrines of men which are limited and constantly changing wherever the wind blows. But if you believe in God then you can come to know one of his primary commandments is for men and women to be lawfully married, and in addition to be chaste (ie, not have ANY sexual relations outside of marriage).

Sneaky Jimmy
Bay Area, CA

Nice try by the LDS church but they still can't get to the point where "its ok to be Gay" These are stories of bisexual people and people that have become celibate in their middle age when they have pretty much lived their life. These stories continue reinforcing the concept that you can alter your sexuality if you only try hard enough. The rank and file take this as more ammunition they can use against gay people. It is well done from a production standpoint but the content is still quite biased.

SLC gal
Salt Lake City, UT

I don't identify as gay or ex-gay, heterosexual or bisexual. I identify as a daughter of God - That is a VERY profound quote!!!

Craig Clark
Boulder, CO

cachondeo,

".....this whole topic is really quite cut and dry/black and white. The bottom line is God has made and set commandments for his children and these commandments are to bring eternal joy and peace to his children (all of humanity)....."
______________________________

As I'm sure you recall, Jesus encountered similar arguments from the Pharisees who adhered to a strict legalistic interpretation of the Hebrew Bible. Was Jesus breaking the commandments by healing on the Sabbath? The Pharisees said he was. But in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus told those gathered to listen that except their righteousness exceeded the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees they would not enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

Give Me A Break
Pullman, WA

I am deeply sorry if the LDS stance on homosexual relationships is a trial to you, but look for the good in it. See past the restriction to understand the principle, if you can. Free Agency has never meant that we are free to find our own way, and no matter what choice we make we will be rewarded equally. That is simply not true. What kind of a test is that? Can you imagine a professor allowing any answer on the exam to translate to an "A" for the course? What if the Marines welcomed anyone to their ranks regardless of performance on their difficult assessment tests? I have many desires and appetites that I have to consciously suppress to be a faithful member of this faith, but I cherish the opportunity to grow. Be faithful. Reach. May God bless.

canyonwalker
Reno, NV

Re my above comment--I intended to say a "6" is solely attracted to the SAME SEX. Oops!!

cachondeo
OCEANSIDE, CA

@Craig Clark, No he was not breaking commandments by healing on the sabbath. He was actually demonstrating to the Pharisees and Sadducees that the law that he was Lord over (in other words he was the one who instituted it in the first place so he had a perfect understanding of it) had been perverted over the course of time.

I say this is black and white it is because the commandment is to abstain from actions of unchastity. There is nothing wrong with someone who inherently has desires toward the opposite sex as long as they don't act on those desires. This is the same with anyone who struggles with "natural man" or "ungodly" desires of the flesh. We all have the agency to choose how we act. Holy scripture teaches us, "...cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves—to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life."

Those who act in obedience to God's commandments will be prepared to receive eternal life. Those who choose sin wil receive everlasting death (aka spiritual death/separation from God). Which will produce unhappiness. "Wickedness never was happiness".

cachondeo
OCEANSIDE, CA

So according to God homosexual practice is sin and is wickedness! This topic is not up for debate just because someone might not believe it or believe in God does not make this any less true. God is the one who makes the rules not us. This principle will NEVER change and the LDS church is the church of Jesus Christ and will promote his teachings and his commandments. Therefore the church will never capitulate due to precepts of men.

On the flip side God has commanded all of us to "love one another; as I have loved you". So we also need to love one another and treat each other with kindness and respect despite the sins and weaknesses we all have. We shouldn't judge one another unrighteously.

Those who practice homosexual behavior and those who judge others unrighteously or do not show love are all guilty of sin and unless repented of will be in a state of wickedness before God.

Bottom line the church will teach us to love and respect one another, but also that homosexual behavior is wrong and God will not tolerate any wickedness in whatever form.

One Human Family
Philadelphia, PA

I read the book "Born That Way" when it first came out. Sadly, it was the only book about homosexuality available at BYU at the time. This book sent me on a path of nearly a decade of therapy to overcome my sexual orientation (on top of my years of begging God daily to change me).

Maybe this woman changed, but it is extremely rare and only in cases of bisexuality. In all my years of therapy I did not meet ONE person that had changed their sexual orientation. Not one! What I met were a lot of gay people in heterosexual relationships that were cheating on their spouses. They were very good of looking the part of a good Mormon, but both them and their spouses were miserable. How is that a good thing?! Is God really that cruel?

If the church is truly changing, they will put people like me and my partner of 15 years and the millions like us on the website. Sadly, I don't think that is going to happen anytime soon.

wrz
Ogden, UT

@nightbeacon:
"I left Mormonism... because I knew my sexual preference was never going to be reconciled to LDS dogma."

We all have crosses to bear. Some heavier than others. People shouldn't let their crosses get the better of them. Crosses are there whether we can see them or not.

"And I strongly disagree with the stance that it's OK to struggle as long as you don't act."

Struggling should not be anyone's goal. Resolution should be the aim. Never say 'never' is the motto.

"At most, I expect to hear 'let me help you see where your choices didn't serve you.'And that's enough.'

I'm sure a serial rapist would sympathize.

@Way of the Warrior:
"That phrasing makes it sound like a condition, even a sickness."

A check of the plumbing differences between male/female might illicit a conclusion that, at least, it's not normal or natural.

@RanchHand:
"A one-sided article with a one-sided agenda. That's what I read."

This is a story about someone who dealt with their situation. We know the story line of those who don't.

Craig Clark
Boulder, CO

cachondeo,

".....God has commanded all of us to "love one another; as I have loved you". So we also need to love one another and treat each other with kindness and respect despite the sins and weaknesses we all have...."
____________________

We might disagree on many points we've discussed here, but on that note we're in complete agreement. Best wishes and happy holidays.

Craig Clark

MDM-I
Beverton, OR

In the mental health field I find people too often seek some external explanation or compulsion for behavior - unfortunately they disempower themselves when they blame behavior solely on circumstances, biology, religion etc. Alcoholics for example can still be sober alcoholics. Or a drunk alcoholic blaming others/biology/life/religion etc. Many alcoholics still want a drink but they decide to be sober, they call a friend in the tough times or get away to avoid temptation etc. They may not choose to be an alcoholic, but they choose what to do about it. So it is with anything we struggle with. To some degree the cause of the problem isn't so much an issue as what someone decides to do about the problem. If they aren't going to do anything about it - then the cause doesn't matter. But also, whether someone else is dishonest or struggles doesn't matter to us either - what matters is what we do about our struggles whatever they may be. Ultimately it boils down to, some people struggle with this, and others struggle to be kind to people who struggle with this and both of those need to be fixed.

TruthTalker
Crystal River, FL

This website is really great! For years, the LGBT community only shows one side of the story and denies that there are alternative ways to happiness. It is a welcome breath of fresh air to hear candid perspectives about this subject rather than just denials that it exists at all.

LaurieC
Las Vegas, NV

I'm just so grateful the Church did this website. It will help so many people!

RFLASH
Salt Lake City, UT

I have not visited the website yet. It is good that people are thinking about this issue. I can tell you that my experience was the opposite. I married a woman first. She was my best friend. As a matter of fact she called me one days years after we separated to ask me if I felt we could have stayed together. I could tell her no without hesitation. We cared deeply for each other. We grew up 3 blocks apart. Her last words to me that day were " I will love you forever." and I was able to tell her the same. She died two days later. There will always be something missing. I sometimes dream that she is still here. How I wish I could talk to her.
I have had a partner for 15 years. This relationship has always felt right and I wouldn't change it, except one thing. If I knew then what I know now, I would have had kids. It is to hard to ask us to be alone!

patriot
Cedar Hills, UT

re:Blue

Actually Blue the LDS Church IS accepting of homosexuals - read Elder Hollands conference talk a few years back. I think what I read in your comments is someone who is angry with the fact that someone who WAS living a Lesbian lifestyle could actually change. The fact that this woman could and did change and eventually find love and happiness with a man sort of blows your entire false politically correct theory about homosexuality. I guess in your opinion this woman should have simply keep silent and told no one. Right? Very sad from your stand point. You ought to be happy for this woman and the fact that she was able to find love and happiness with her husband as well as her children. My guess is there are many who struggle with same sex attraction who will find great hope with this story.

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