We will ALWAYS have thoughts come into our minds. I no longer feel guilty for
when a bad thought comes into my mind. Our brain is just a computer that sends
information to our conscious for reasons we can't always know. I'm
frankly tired of Church lessons that make us feel guilty for dirty thoughts.
They're normal. They're random. They're innocent, unless we let
them linger.I continue to see LDS people deal with guilt and
unnecessary suffering due to the method of teaching that demonizes sex and
sexual thoughts. President Packer teaches that the male sex drive is as strong
as it is because otherwise a percentage of men would "not take on the
responsibility of marriage and child raising".Let's re-word
our teaching to "entertaining thoughts". I remember a very righteous and
well-known Church leader sharing that "dirty thoughts" still come and
always will, but the frequency and intensity can diminish with righteous
A lot of marriages fail because someone is having an affair with another person.
But we rarely discuss all those that fail because someone is having an affair
with the TV, the refrigerator, or a credit card.
@A Voice of reason - You are kidding yourself if you think that faithful LDS
don't cheat. I have had many faithful LDS friends (and some family) who
have dealt with cheating in their marriage. If being faithful in a marriage is
so easy for church members who "listen to the prophet", why are
subscriptions to pornographic websites so high in Utah? By the way, I agree with
the person who said they don't listen to "God" or "Satan".
For me, I listen to my conscience. My conscience is based on what I have learned
and experienced throughout my life.
I guess in the past all the men cheated with a couple of women ? By definition
if a man is cheating, a woman is part of it (assuming a traditional man-woman
marriage). I've never understood the attention foisted at the failings of
MEN, when there's a woman involved as well in dang near all of the cases.
Share blame where blame is due.
As Mr. Miyagi once said, "Best defense, no be there." Stay single, my
re-Millsap fan... You speak as if only a prohet can hold uch high morals and
therefore express encouragment to his flock...To thrust my point futher Can you
name one thing that the modern day prohets have instructed his flock reqarding
morality that any other church can not or has not...In fact Morrality and the
safe gaurd of the ''family'' is shared by all the worlds
reigion and atheists ,it is a human trait, and yet Mormons attitude is as if it
is a unique selling point of the church...too much of a big deal is made about
the prohet , also too much affection to the point of fanaticism...Mormons should
be very careful of this...No wonder the outside world think we worship the
@Ernest T Bass,I understand your point, but it definitely helps to
have a prophet encouraging his people to be chaste and virtuous both in word and
johanBjorn,If you're not married, there is no cheating.
I dated an LDS girl for four years. It ended after she sobbingly confessed to
cheating on me with another LDS guy. She felt as if I wasn't good enough
because I wasn't LDS, and I couldn't take her to the temple. They are
now married.Meanwhile, I have been married for two years and I have
a beautiful baby boy that I love more than anything. I would never dream of
cheating on my wife, because we love each other.The best part is
we're both Atheist (well, she's agnostic, but no one's
perfect).Religious 'leadership' has never had, nor will it
ever have, and impact on personal matters like this. If someone is going to
cheat, they're going to do it regardless of the advice they've
received from 'higher up'
When women become like men, civilizations fall.
Re: "For folks who struggle with the math . . . ."Uh, no.Regardless of which is married, both are still guilty of adultery.Or, in other words, cheating.
A voice of ReasonWhile it may be true you can't listen to both
god and satan, it is very possible to listen to neither. I listen to myself, and
rely on myself and family. Just because a person doesn't believe in god
doesn't mean they have no moral integrity, just as being religious
doesn't mean that you do have moral integrity.
For folks who struggle with the math of the article: a married man (woman) can
cheat with a single woman (man), thereby creating a man (woman) who cheats and
an unmarried woman (man) having pre-marital sex.
Re: "Women catching up"How could that be?Hasn't it always taken both for cheating to occur?
Addiction to drugs of all types and the availability of pornography have helped
our country and the world into a new era of uncontrolled appetites for many.
We have known this for centuries in a variety of cultures. People
go through this type of perversion and their nation or society suffers and some
go under. We aren't the first nor will we be the last to suffer
these consequences whether is is obesity or loss of moral values.
It took two decades to recognize this? And how many marriages have been
destroyed during that time? Interesting timeline - beginning with
the introduction of SSRI antidepressants to the market & when we also began
to see female teachers seducing male students. (In tracking those cases for two
decades I have found it RARE that the offender was not on an antidepressant.)What is the connection? My 2006 presentation to the FDA on
antidepressants covered this.From the article: "...an
astonishing number of affairs are driven by sexual addiction, which thrives in
American culture on readily available porn, ease of communicating online and
less restrained cultural expectations. Behaviors once seriously shunned now draw
shrugs."Facts:#1 Women have LONG been the highest
users of antidepressants. #2 Patients call antidepressants the
"I don't care" drugs ("shrugs" drugs?).#3
Studies demonstrate a falling out of love rapidly on antidepressants due to an
inability to "feel" love any longer.#4 Antidepressants are
notorious for inducing mania/hypomania. Nymphomania (sexual compulsions) is one
type - degree varies depending on the level of toxicity. Those suffering mania,
hypomania, or Bipolar have LONG been known to have problems with infidelity
& holding marriages together because of the infidelity.
This is an incomplete story at best. How can you prove if males are over stating
or females understating the truth? Is an affair only when a person is married?
What happens if you are single and your love interest is married, is it an
affair then? With married couples barely making up 50% of adults now, there are
a lot of single individuals involved in relationships that may not call it an
affair but nevertheless one of the people are married. So what does it really
matter if less women have affairs when they are married but more single women
are involved with married men than single men involved with married women. Sex
is sex and it takes two, married or single for one or both of the individuals
involved. Sex is also much more complicated then just procreation. I believe a
few years ago there was an article explaining 234 reasons for sex. Having an
affair probably accounts for about 150 or the reasons.
There are agnostics & atheists who never cheat and there are plenty of
people who do listen to a "prophet's" voice who do cheat. Religion
doesn't prevent cheating. Not even close.
Putting it in a time of the now Former CIA Director, it is appropriate to have
this article surfacing. Cheating is usually a two party affair and women and
men have both been involved, usually. We live in a world that
cheating is more accepted, it appears, than in the past. Infidelity or sex is
not the only way people cheat. Are they honest with everybody? If they are
not, then that is lying and cheating. People don't think a
little lie is bad or a little cheating is bad. People rationalize their
behavior as just a little cheating or lying isn't bad. Then it goes on for
day, months and years and then people are hooked.Having worked with
people over my life who rationalized these types of behavior, not only with
their spouse, but with other people, their lives are not necessarily ones that
are happy. One key to a Happy life and as a family is to be honest
and true to your spouse and family.Tolstoy said: "Happy Families are
all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."If
our decisions include integrity and honor we will be happy, always.
Men cheat more than women. Men have sex with many more partners than women.
These are both common stereotypes, but most professional statisticians say they
are nonsense. The figures for both genders have to be roughly comparable,
because every one of those men has to have a partner, and unless many, many men
have the same female partner, the numbers have to be relatively close.
"You are either listening to God or satan."I've been
married to the same woman for 37 years. Faithful all 37. I don't listen
to either God or Satan.
This problem had been around for centuries and will no doubt live on for
centuries to come. King David and his son King Solomon struggled with this even
though they were very spiritual men. Christ said he who look upon a woman and
lust after her commit adultery in his heart. Not only Christ pointed out the
problem, he also provide the solution which is our thoughts. With cultures such
as ours where premarital sex and cheating is paraded in front of your living
room, what do you expect?
Out of the number of faithful Latter-day Saints who have headed the counsel of
our prophets and other priesthood leaders, the number of those who have cheated
on their spouses is 0.Members of the church can certainly sin, so
I'm not saying that "LDS means you're better than others".
I'm saying that by listening to our prophets, etc. we are headed in the
right direction. You are either listening to God or satan. You can't be
doing both. The things of God, prophets, scriptures, etc. are calling you in one
direction. Porn, other people or their appearance, a political agenda designed
to build nothing but contention, and every last cunning design of Satan are
calling you downward.Wrong doing only exists because at some point
even a good person looked in the wrong direction- listening to what is tempting
instead of what is right. Even the best people can and do make mistakes.
We're fortunate that there is always a way to turn back around and start
stepping forward in the right direction."It is not possible for
you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ's Atonement
shines." -Jeffrey R. Holland