Comments about ‘Helicopter parenting cramps young-adult lives’

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Published: Tuesday, Oct. 16 2012 10:00 p.m. MDT

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Mom of 8
Hyrum, UT

One day a 21-year-old student come late to our 9am class. His mother, two time zones away, hadn't called to wake him up. He announced this oversight of his lazy mother to the entire class as an excuse to interrupting.

The derision with which he was met by his fellow college students ("Dude--use the alarm on your phone! Sheesh, how old are you?!") was enough to embarrass him into growing up.

If only the mother of the 19-year-old student who called me EVERY DAY for updates could have heard that classroom exchange. I was ever so grateful for the FERPA laws that didn't allow me to share with Mommy every detail of her son's grades.

Little wonder why he moved so far away from her.

GZE
SALT LAKE CITY, UT

My children accuse me of helicopter parenting. I have to hang my head and agree with them. However, after reading your list (ATTEND THE JOB INTERVIEW?), I now feel much better about myself. They could have had it a lot worse.

HCB63
Orem, UT

If your children can't make decisions on their own by the time they are eighteen, then you have failed as a parent in that area. Kids will naturally acclimate towards independence and, as hard as it can be, we (parents) have to start stepping back and allow our children to learn the outcomes of decisions, consequences, etc. It is our children's best interest to let them take on the responsibility for their lives.

Cherilyn Eagar
Holladay, UT

Today many young people who have long since graduated from college are still living at home with mom and dad, blaming the economy. Certainly there are times when our adult children need some assistance, but it is a balancing act.

When I taught my grade school children to make their own sandwiches for their school lunches and at age 12 to do their own laundry, I was criticized and felt some pressure knowing that other parents were doing this for their children.

I tried to balance it. For example, if they truly had forgotten something at school and it was not a habit, I would certainly help out. But if missing the school bus had become a pattern, I did tell one middle school child that with one more incident of lateness a three mile walk to school would be the alternative. It happened. I don't know who it was harder on - me or the child!

That child is now a successful Wall Street financier.

Criticism aside, I believed I was doing the right thing, and this article has confirmed it. Everyone makes mistakes. In that case, saying you're sorry can go a long way.

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