Comments about ‘Reforming divorce: Changing laws to preserve families’

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States consider divorce reform in attempt to preserve families

Published: Saturday, July 14 2012 7:30 p.m. MDT

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Shaun
Sandy, UT

If a state doesn't require couples to have a waiting period and counseling before they get married then the couple should also be able to get divorce without a waiting period or counseling.

mark99
LINDON, UT

I'd like to see a financial planner required to assist any family going through divorce to maintain financial solvency and keep the family assets for the benefit of the children. Once money is taken out of the equation, there will be less conflict, fewer attorneys interested in helping decay families. The court system needs to be accountable to state laws and statutes. Mental health courts are sorely needed in the event of non-compliance of parties in high conflict divorce. I'd say 80% of divorces are related to mental health issues that have gone undiagnosed and untreated.

JSB
Sugar City, ID

I still think adultery should be a criminal offense for both parties. People who are unfaithful to their spouse not only damage their relationship with their spouse and significantly increase the possibility of divorce, they also place the innocent party at risk of being exposed to an STD. Passing an STD on to someone else should also be a serious criminal offense.

Colorado Reader
Littleton, CO

Shocking…it all started in California!

KJB1
Eugene, OR

So much for keeping the government out of people's private lives...

pat1
Taylorsville, UT

I was abandoned over 30 years ago in a state with very strict divorce and separation laws. My spouse was also of a religion that frowned heavily upon divorce, and yet this spouse did not have any interest in staying with the family. We have been the victims of this. Although my children are wonderful, caring adults,they continue to suffer extreme emotional damage from a deadbeat parent. You are assuming that lenient laws encourage divorce and will prevent this from happening, but that is not true. Someone who wants to leave his/her family will do it in spite of warnings and the consequences. This is a moral dilemma, and not a legal one. No one can make a poor parent step up to be nurturing and loving and responsible. Sure, laws can attempt to force financial support, but someone can also get around that. It is appalling, but these callous, narcissistic people do exist. They can hide their true selves during the courtship phase. For those who have suffered, the only course is to learn to cope and move on. That is easier said than done for the children. Yes, selfishness is the cause.

JoeBlow
Far East USA, SC

Are these comments from the same "get the cotton-pickin government out of our lives", calling for more laws and regulations?

DaveRL
OGDEN, UT

There is too much government in our private lives already, we do not need yet another law to tell us how to live our private lives. Adults should be able too handle their own affairs without "Big Brother" legislating yet more intrusion into their lives.

Beverly
Eden, UT

Criminal Justice research clearly shows a correlation between single parent families and criminal conduct. The most consistent factor people in America's prison have in common is being raised by a single parent. It is more consistent than poverty, school drop rates, unemployment, etc. Only drug abuse exceeds "single parent" in the factors correlated to criminal conduct. Barbara DeVoe Whitehead wrote and extensive article regarding the impact of single parent families on children in the Atlantic Monthly entitled "Dan Quayle was right" in the April 1993 issue. If you want a comprehensive view of this problem, read her work. If you want to prevent crime, prevent divorce.

Tekakaromatagi
Dammam, Saudi Arabia

The only really progressive ideas that help the poor, the weak, etc are policies that actually help. Trying and failing because of incompetence or elitism or political motives isn't progressive. It ends up being regressive to the point that even the hard core conservatives won't even agree with them.

t702
Las Vegas, NV

There is no law that can fix the responsibility of parents/adult. If a person thinks more of himself/herself than the goodness of the children or the spouse, no government, church, counselor etc can fix such. A selfish potential husband/father during dating will remain so during marriage -and don't expect living together will fix that either... choose wisely.

New to Utah
PAYSON, UT

Divorce has such long lasting consequences that couples contemplating divorce do not
see. Couples with children should be slowed down in the emotional march to get out of
a tough marriage especially if there is no abuse and just differences. Society, the couple
and the children all face lifetime consequences. No fault divorce laws should be scrutinized perhaps some marriages could succeed by a little different perspective and counseling.

pragmatistferlife
salt lake city, utah

Why would you want to preserve a marriage that is rotting from the inside? Just like brown spots, squissy spots, etc. are signs of a fruit rotting from the inside, adultrey, fights, etc. are often signs or symptoms, of a marriage rotting from the inside. The base presumtion that all marriages and families should be, or even can be held together is wrong and even dangerous to "the children".

All marriages and relationships have issues, and issues can be, and are difficult to resolve, but not all issues are "resolvable". A square peg just doesn't fit in a round hole without changing it to a round peg..and now it's no longer useful as a square peg.

Only those in the realtionship know whether it can and should be fixed. Laws protecting the financial viability of the children is a whole different matter.

Thinkman
Provo, UT

Until the state limits alimony time and amounts, then and only then will divorce rates fall.

Women (and sometimes men) who feel they are entitled to financial support from their ex, will seek divorce when the marriage isn't going to their liking.

If the petitioner for a divorce wants out of the marriage then she/he should only receive at maximum, 2-3 years of alimony.

Institute this, then you will see divorce rates cut in half if not more.

La Vonne
Laguna Niguel, CA

People marry too easily and divorce far too easily. Most regret both hasty decisions. God can turn anything around, even your first hasty decision to marry what you might think is the wrong person. Any two people can learn to love and care for one another, mistakes and all.

Razzle2
Bluffdale, UT

With the gay marriage initiative, some have argued that government should get out of marriage. Just make it a religious commitment. (Which is sometimes their basis for supporting non-traditional marriage.)

I believe the we need a strong court system to support marriage as with any binding contract. For two people to share everything and give everything to the marriage, they need the confidence that if their partner breaks the contract they can sue for divorce and for the things they shared including the children.

JoeBlow
Far East USA, SC

"If the petitioner for a divorce wants out of the marriage then she/he should only receive at maximum, 2-3 years of alimony. "

OK Thinkman. Think about it.

2 peeps get married. Wife forgoes career and starts having kids. Dad gets masters degree and good job with great advancements. Family has 4 kids and mom is too busy to further her education or get work experience.

What do you think moms earning potential is when they get divorced?

Mom should only get 2-3 years of support?

That seems fair to you?

That may give mom the incentive to stay married, but what about dad?

And of course, I understand that the roles could easily be reversed, but the premise holds.

nothegame
Saratoga Springs, UT

I have been through all of this. It was worse than a death in the family. Go to divorce class and 30 days later your divorced. How about a class before marriage and a signed contract between the couples. If you have kids and there is no abuse 1 year before u can be divorced. See what happens is a woman with a couple of kids get scared that they can't make it and get remarried to someone else to quick. Not good for her or the kids.

Canyontreker
TAYLORSVILLE, UT

No-fault divorce has done more damage to the family than any other non-traditional family initiative.

Bob A. Bohey
Marlborough, MA

The problem is marriage, not divorce. Marriage reform is what the states should be looking at. Make getting married as difficult and finiacially punitive as divorce currently is and I gurantee the divorce rate in this country drops tremendously.

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