I am now caring for both my ailing parents. I can assure you it is not easy
being the sole care giver. Sally I totally agree with you. I put all of their
money and some of my own income into their care. Doctors, hospitals, tests and
medication are not cheap. My out of state siblings are already fighting for what
little our parents have. It breaks my heart for my parents. Yet they are on the
same level as those criminal callers who harass my parents with bills for things
they didn't order and pleadings for donations, all of it sounds phony to me
so, I am the only one to answer the phone.
I think the caregiver should be the one who gets the lion's share of the
inheritance. My Dad was very sick for two years before he died and my sister
was his caregiver. She took care of him, drove him to the doctors, made his
meals and eventually even changed his underwear when he became incontinent.
They live almost two thousand miles from me so I wasn't much help. When he
died, my sister got everything he had. She got his house, his money and
everything. I strongly felt that she deserved it. She is the one who took care
of him and she deserved to get it all. She did send me some pictures and things
from my childhood which were of no worth to her, but I do feel she deserved
everything she got. We have a pathetic society of predators who
feel they must prey on the weak and feeble and feed on their possessions. The
elderly need attention and love, but they surely don't need a bunch of
vultures circling around them waiting for them to die so they can feed off them
and grabbing a bite even before they are gone.
Good article. Lots of helpful tips. I appreciate it, as I am coming to this
point with elderly parents. Thank you!
Sometimes the abused is the family caregiver, not the elderly. Unfortunately
some elderly parents expect children to give free care even when only one child
is doing all the work. When the parents die, the other siblings want to know
where all the money is, yet they have done zero to help out. Isn't it
welfare when you give zero in return for goods/services? They have no concern
for the one who did all the work. In the end it is really about "how much
do I get". So, who is really the thief? We should always consider
compensating those who give of their time and energy.
My father taught me to never mix Family and Friends with Money. It is so sad to
hear how loving people are deceived and abused. The one thought that brings
peace to my sole is that we will all stand accountable for our actions and I
need only worry about what I have done or have not done.