Comments about ‘Studies challenge widely held assumptions about same-sex parenting’

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Published: Saturday, June 9 2012 10:01 p.m. MDT

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RanchHand
Huntsville, UT

@very concerned;

Again I say: Good Grief!

Utah Businessman
Sandy, UT

@ Ranch Hand
"Anybody who claims to have "great empathy" for gays, and then expects them to live celibate, sterile lives, is lying to themselves; they have no empathy"

So, are you saying that, if someone has a great desire to have intimicy with my wife and he is not allowed to do that, then I expect him to "live a celibate, sterile life"? Of course, we both know the answer to that is "no"; we expect him to find another way to be fulfilled. My belief is that so-called "gays" are in basically the same situation. Just as the man who might feel a strong desire to have intimicy with my wife needs to find another way to be fulfilled, I believe that "gays" (at least the vast majority of them), through controlling their same-sex urges, can find much more fulfillment in normal, heterosexual relationships than they could in following their "same-sex" urges. I also recognize that ititially that may be very difficult, just as many things that I need to do are also difficult, but the extra effort eventually bears "sweet fruit".

LDS Liberal
Farmington, UT

I wonder....

Just how many Gay people were raised by Hetero-sexuals?

Somehow - I think that study would clearly show Hetero-sexuals raise kids to be gay.

You can twist numbers and studies to fit any agenda.

A Scientist
Provo, UT

The literature on the influence of same sex parenting on children will continue to shake out over the next several years. There may be studies that find "differences". That should hardly be surprising. It will also be less than surprising that studies find that many forms of "parenting" result in worse outcomes than same-sex marriages.

None of these can possibly be used to support a continued ban on same sex marriage. The law cannot be used to discriminate against "sub-optimal" forms of relationships, behaviors, or human rights.

I mean, after all, it is still legal to be a member of the Republican Party, and we have evidence that only "sub-optimal" people choose that political affiliation (see "Bright Minds and Dark Attitudes Lower Cognitive Ability Predicts Greater Prejudice Through Right-Wing Ideology and Low Intergroup Contact" by Gordon Hodson and Michael A. Busseri, 2011).

Vegas
Las Vegas, NV

An interesting statistic:

- 26% of American adolescents report being subject to physical abuse by one or both parents
- 0% (yes zero) of American adolescents raised by lesbian parents report being physically abused.

RanchHand
Huntsville, UT

@Utah Businessman;

Since you've never been gay, your comment that we can " fulfillment in normal, heterosexual relationships..." is completely irrational. Anyway, WHY SHOULD WE!

Your comparison to someone wanting to have sexual intercourse with YOUR wife is also inappropriate. We AREN'T LUSTING AFTER SOMEONE ELSE'S SPOUSE. We desire marriage to the person WE love, not the one you love.

You've just demonstrated with your comment that you truly have NO EMPATHY for gays. None whatsoever and you're kidding yourself (I'm being kind here) when you tell yourself otherwise.

I'll tell you something. I spent 30+ years trying to "find fulfillment in a heterosexual manner". It DOES NOT WORK! I've LIVED it, you haven't. I have EXPERIENCE in this area, you do not. And it's truly evil to try to pawn us off on some poor heterosexual woman.

wrz
Salt Lake City, UT

@A voice of Reason: " However, we CAN reasonably deduce that 'because a gay agent is intentionally acting in dysfunction of our anatomical design to biologically multiply and replenish the Earth, their rebellion to the most basic law of the existence of mankind disqualifies them from being able to adequately parent.'"

Basically, I agree with your statement. However, gay agents will vehemently deny that their slant on sexuality is dysfunctional. It does not take a rocket scientist to see that they are acting contrary to their anatomical design. But, they believe the way they are is the way god made them and they can do little or nothing about it.

My own view is that god had nothing to do with how they are. How 'they are is basically how they were raised (treated) in their formative years. Treated either by their parents or neighborhood 'friends' or both.

Freedom-In-Danger
WEST VALLEY CITY, UT

@RanchHand,

"Just because they haven't identified a "gay gene" or combination of genes yet, doesn't mean they won't."

Nor does it mean they will.

"I'm NOT rejecting "moral standards". I'm rejecting YOUR version of "moral standards"

And I'm rejecting your version.

Unless your stance is to get marriage out of government altogether or to accept any form of marriage (including incest and self-marriage), your stance is to establish your own moral standard into the government.

Again, I'm rejecting your moral standards.

"Anybody who claims to have "great empathy" for gays, and then expects them to live celibate, sterile lives, is lying to themselves; they have no empathy"

So without sex you can't be happy? Saying I can't feel for someone because I have a moral belief is about as ridiculous as anything I've ever heard. That wouldn't last very long in a real debate.

"I have EXPERIENCE in this area, you do not."

So LDS therapists have no experience? No good standing members once practiced gay acts? No, the truth is that each of your posts increasingly proves (being kind here) your arguments are ones that are irrational.

Neanderthal
Salt Lake City, UT

@Claudio: "For the record, we teach children from an early age what their gender is: blue is for boys, pink for girls; boys play with trucks, girls with dolls; boys play football, girls cheer lead, etc."

I agree with your comment. above. I don't know so much about blue and pint but, for sure, boys need to do boy things and girls, girl things. There may be some underlying tendencies for same sex attraction, but emphasis on boy/girl activities goes a long way to redirecting such tendencies.

I know couple who gave their boy a doll for xmas... and he turned out to be gay. Could that have played a role? I don't know for sure, but I think so.

cjb
Bountiful, UT

I don't need a study to tell me that kids ought to have a mom AND a dad. Furthermore if some study says otherwise I wouldn't believe it.

KellyWSmith
Sparks, NV

There are many people who are suffering from "same gender attraction," but it doesn't mean that they have to act on those feelings and temptations. It doesn't mean that they were "born that way." It means that they have a weakness that affects them and someone is putting ideas or thoughts into their heads that this is who they are and to go ahead and "do it".

This post goes into a lot more detail about these afflictions: kellywsmith com

We don't need to just drop all morals and wishes of those who wish to do evil. How in the world can raising a child in a "same-sex" household be good for them? How can it be normal? How can it develop proper settings of ethics, morals or what is right and wrong?

As much as I love all people and want the best for everyone, there is a time when tough decisions need to be made and that which is right needs to be stood up for.

Kevin J. Kirkham
Salt Lake City, UT

A study, conducted by Grey Matter Research (formerly Ellison Research) of Phoenix, Arizona among a representative sample of 695 Protestant church ministers nationwide, asked pastors to identify the three strongest threats to families in their own community.

The three most commonly named threats were divorce (listed as one of the top three by 43% of all ministers), negative influences from the media (38%), and materialism (36%). These were followed by absentee fathers (24%) and families that lack a stay-at-home parent (22%). The rest of the list included:

· Co-habitation before marriage (18%)

· Pornography (17%)

· Morality not being taught in schools (14%)

· Poverty, unemployment, and/or a poor economy (13%)

· Parental alcohol use/abuse (12%)

· Parental drug use/abuse (11%)

· Drug use/abuse among teens or children (8%)

· Teen sexual involvement/activity (8%)

· Alcohol use/abuse among teens or children (6%)

· Adultery (5%)

· Poor schools or quality of education (4%)

· Teen pregnancy (2%)

· Sexual predators or sexual abuse (1%)

· The expense of child care (1%)

· Other issues (12%)

SSM didn't even make the top 20. We're focusing on the wrong things.

LValfre
CHICAGO, IL

@KellyWSmith,

"It means that they have a weakness that affects them and someone is putting ideas or thoughts into their heads that this is who they are and to go ahead and "do it".

This post goes into a lot more detail about these afflictions: kellywsmith com

We don't need to just drop all morals and wishes of those who wish to do evil. How in the world can raising a child in a "same-sex" household be good for them? How can it be normal? How can it develop proper settings of ethics, morals or what is right and wrong?

As much as I love all people and want the best for everyone, there is a time when tough decisions need to be made and that which is right needs to be stood up for."

So gays are evil, not normal, unethical, immoral, and don't know right from wrong.

Kelly, you are a sad sad man and I hope you learn to open your eyes to the good in people before judging them.

Can't imagine the things you said about blacks in the 60's and 70's. Whose next on your religious target list?

atl134
Salt Lake City, UT

@Neanderthal
"I agree with your comment. above. I don't know so much about blue and pint but, for sure, boys need to do boy things and girls, girl things. There may be some underlying tendencies for same sex attraction, but emphasis on boy/girl activities goes a long way to redirecting such tendencies."

Appropriate username. Now as for this matter... no. The answer is no. What are "boy things" and "girl things"? Products of a mindset that isn't always consistent. It actually used to be near the beginning of the 20th century that pink/red was the boys color and blue was a girls color. There's photos of FDR as a kid wearing what would clearly nowadays be considered feminine attire. If a son wants to be in ballet classes goodness just let him. It's not going to make him gay or mean that he's gay. It's okay for a guy to not like football or guns or cars, heck I'm like that and I'm straight.

georgeman
Kearns, UT

@Cate

I too have been a teacher for many years and I have seen the opposite of what you have said. I had one of my first grade girls engage in inappropriate behaviors with other first grade girls, just because that is what she said she saw her mommies do. She eventually had to be expelled from the school over these bahaviors. This girl is now 16 and is very gender confused. I have seen her a time or two as she has come back to visit me. She recently told me she wishes she had been born into a "normal family". Her exact words.

In the same school I had a little boy in my class who came from a family with same sex parents. He too was very gender confused and eventually committed suicide when he was in his early teens. While I agree that not all kids of same gender parents have these issues, and some of hetero parents have them also, I can't help but wonder what the outcome would have been if they had hetero parents.

KellyWSmith
Sparks, NV

@LValfre
"So gays are evil, not normal, unethical, immoral, and don't know right from wrong.
Kelly, you are a sad sad man and I hope you learn to open your eyes to the good in people before judging them.
Can't imagine the things you said about blacks in the 60's and 70's. Whose next on your religious target list?""

I am not a sad man, but very happy with a wonderful family and 5 great children. I don't have any religion on my "target list" nor did I (or will I) say negative things about blacks in the 60's. I am speaking out and standing up for what is right. I am not bowing to the current wave of pressure from those who have chosen a way of life that is not according to God's will. If there is anything left that is immoral in todays' society, its choosing to be gay. I still love all, but cannot sit by and watch our country go down the drain of political correctness.

LValfre
CHICAGO, IL

Let's not forget homosexuals are born from heterosexuals. They're our seed, our blood, our love. They deserve every ounce of freedom available to anyone else.

Depending on how you look at it, some would say it's a mental disorder. Would you ostracize a mentally handicapped person the way you do homosexuals? Or are you picking and choosing who to hate?

Ranch
Here, UT

@KellyWSmith;

And I'm not going to sit back and watch you shove your religious bigotry down the throats of those who don't happen to follow your fictional "god".

If there is anything left in our society that is immoral, it is bigotry. Bigotry is evil, KellyWSmith. Pure, 100%, unadulterated evil. Take a good long look in the mirror if you want to see true "evil". It'll be the face staring back at you.

Fortunately for the rest of us, the Constitution guarantees that we are free to follow the religion of our choice, or none at all. Judge not that ye be not judged, for with the same measure that ye judge, you'll be judged. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (would you like us to curtail your liberty and freedom? I didn't think so). You can't even follow your own god's rules, why should we?

Jeff
Temple City, CA

The article suggests that we cannot draw any sorts of conclusions from this study that would affect public policy decisions, but I think there is one policy decision that should be made, and that is to make no decision to change traditional marriage.

In other words, previous calls for redefining marriage to allow same-gender couples to marry were based on research that is contradicted here. This points out something I have long said: the results of same-gender parenting (and by association, marriage) will only become evident over time; it is dangerous to make a decision in favor of such a far-reaching societal change based on preliminary data, especially when the data are cast in doubt by later studies.

TheRealU
HERRIMAN, UT

Utah Businessman said: "So, are you saying that, if someone has a great desire to have intimicy with my wife and he is not allowed to do that, then I expect him to "live a celibate, sterile life" Of course, we both know the answer to that is we expect him to find another way to be fulfilled. My belief is that so-called "gays" are in basically the same situation"

In the same situation, except for the part where these "so-called gays" are BOTH desiring to be with the other. Let me help you out with your analogy, it should read: "if someone has a great desire to be with my wife, and she has a great desire to be with him, and I do not allow it...well then I am single again."

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